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I loved your idea of writing down my thoughts to be discussed as you suggested bformosa922163 ..without attacking or being judgemental even…also Lindz1980 I think I need to be stronger in showing my standing up for the boundaries that I want .. I’ll keep encouraging him to seek professional help..the only problem is honestly trusting him, cause if he changes his access information etc which so far he doesnt know that I know, and I ask him and he says I stopped, I only have his words, until smth falls off between my hands by coincidence in anyway..I hope he’ll agree to professional help, maybe I should go too to understand his behavior and know how to help him…and maybe then I could be advised how to believe for example that he will stop..cause when there’s a will there’s a way…he can always find ways to do it and I may never know..only his words will be my answer and his behavior… thank you all again 🙂 …

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For everyone who replied to me..words are not strong enough to express the love you filled my heart with!…I thought I’ll be silly writing what I sent, and didnt expect such replies whether with advice or experience in such situation..all telling me “I’m not alone “….I surely started the whole pole for him…I went out of my comfort zone for him…and yes as Phoenix Hunter said..probably I should hate that its for him..but..I’m trying to be strong by having myself loving it even if he isnt much interested. ..I’m trying to teach myself that if I’m enjoying it then I should do it for my own self sake snd forget all about it ..sometimes it works..sometimes it doesnt:) … I’ll keep trying….honestly for me it became a trust and lying issue … its nice also to feel and think that your man looks at his the so called “his love” as the one and only…not as a tool when needed…I dont like being shared 🙂 …and as sunshine goddess said, this porn addiction means he needs higher and higher stimulation…smth I always try explaning to him..watching solo females too “his highest interest” means he loses out on the intimacy that I could provide him with and lowers my self esteem in a way 🙁 … I cant think myself enjoying a stranger man masturbating cause I have feelings for the man I have and I prefer seeing him..I cant either expect him to go blind cause I cant control him snd that’s not my intention, but I expect a limit and boundary and trust when we agree on something….i talked to him again last day and he was highly resistant that what he does is normal and he doesnt see where the problem is… including his lying promises…he didnt bother at all….and I was boiling cause not admitting the problem is a problem on its own! And instead says I have issues…I always tell him, if you say so! But this was part of our agreement when we got married, turned out you havent ever stopped soon after we got married! “Trust”..if you didn’t wanna stop then you had the option not to proceed with me…and I always tell him, try to convince me otherwise… if its membership from time to time or free watching, or benefiting both of us, or if I haven’t made this out clear that he has a time limit to straighten up… I’d say cooooool, its getting spicy in here lol..but noop, its making him awaaay from me…lastly, thank you all again for your support. ..its so wonderful that I was able to share this here..thank you Veena for this site:)

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Thank you everyone for your support and advice..thank you thank you thank you

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I feel such a quality of a man, even if he has the whole porn girls of a certain website sitting in his bedroom, would still want to check out the whole other girls of another website…I cant compete with thousands of girls out there, neither with teens for example. .He grew up on this and I’m afraid I’m putting high expectations, but probably cause I’m afraid to leave for this..its like I feel I may have to believe that he will not change and I have to either leave him or live with a casual feeling of “oh its normal, yes I do him a lot, but its ok, let him have fun”.. and I think this last part is like myself crushing myself..unless again, I get convinced its a no big deal

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Thank you so much Adventures of Alice for your reply..yes deep inside me I know how disrespectful this is.. I appreciate your honesty..yes this forum may not be the best forum,but whoever is in this site knows the sensuality of the pole and may understand what it means to use the pole to please the significant other but the significant other still isnt satisfied. I have many times told him you need counseling and so do I but he refuses. You touched on a very critical matter for me, its setting boundaries for myself…I am angry from myself that I’m not doing that in the correct way..my warnings and very frank talk to him that this dual life doesnt work with me and will lead to divorce, doesn’t ring a bell in his mind…I am angry from myself that I’m not sure what to do, this whole holiday for example is to please “us” cause soon I’ll be busy and will start a job, but for me, what is the use if deep inside it seems whatever I do and whatevee we do isnt good enough and he knows how many times I told him I disgust a liar…for me, why sext him or bother pleasing him if his eyes will always be outside? ? He says each is different…I can’t accept this. .and my problem is again myself, if he is sooooo good on the outside, but from the inside does things which I dislike, and I get to know about it by coincidence “like him falling asleep while his private screen is on, or intentionally from whatever way I do to dig this out”, should I leave him? Or I am making a big deal here?

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So so so… I ended up going to another piercer who confirmed that yes it should be done at the base of the nipple…but… whoever did it to me took some part of the aerola in the piercing ..thats why it looked odd cause wasnt done in the correct measurement . !!! It looked far away from the base of the nipple…I took it out so maybe I’ll repierce later … its annoying cause it was my first time to do such challenging exciting step and I went to one of the most famous places over here which was overpriced too compared to other places…I thought well… its the first time so hit it right and dont look around for cheap places …what a bad experience 🙁 and by the way they were not swollen at all so it wasnt a matter of healing..I kept looking at images here and there and mine felt really out of place..

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Thank you Mystical and Runemist34 🙂 I couldnt sleep last night thinking of this,and I kept checking my email for any replies from Veeners here:) !! Yep! Soooooo anxious and frustrared! … Runemist34: well, I hope then that its a mattee of being swollen …so its a good comfort to know that yes its done at the base of the nipple… for me though the piercing is coming a bit away from the actual base of the nipple thats why it looks odd .. I think it would’ve been better if little more closer to the base…unless its a matter of being swollen and I should give it time. I was thinking to go to another piercer to show what I got and to know if they are pierced in the right base, distance wise… really thank you again

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Thank you Veena for sharing! At times I do get the frustration of “what will happen when I age if I’m doing wrong training program”?! Especially if for people like me trying to learn it all from the convenience of home .. which comes with cons if done improperly.

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Hhmmm… Yes I think so!

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Should a 70% or 90% alcohol be used? Or makes no difference?

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Thank you all for your tips and advice! Definitely useful!

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I read somewhere that if using alcohol it should be higher than 90%.. Is that right? What about the cloth.. Any cotton one or microfibre one?

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I was reading about the tragical story of the English mom …as her husband says..you think this might happen to other people but not to you …I guess generally by signing up to pole dance/fitness…you are signing up to risk .. we hear stories from here and there about similar incidents in the clubs that lead to similar effects too.. Safe poling everyone!

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Editing: I just “threw” myself into it .. Not “through”

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Thank you everyone! I was shocked to read about the sad incident of the English mom! 🙁 I know that using the pole is such a dangerous action but I didn’t realize it for such a move.. I guess I just through myself into it… I can do crunches.. I tend to have some flexibility in general from childhood gymnastics and martial arts…. the thing is that I did the move and it felt good on a spin mode.. I was surprised myself.. Just at the time being I use my hands to give me a spin ..