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At a workshop recently (I think by Zoraya) we learned this cool trick: start in extended butterfly and lower down still facing chest-to-ceiling as long as possible, holding with the front-abs. Then, at the last minute, twist sideways to support with the (weaker) side muscles. This way you haven’t pre-fatigued them lowering in, so you can hold for an extra second or so.

Good luck!

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My wife and I have both weight-trained with a female Olympic-level weightlifter (also chiropractor and figure model). She emphasizes squats a lot too, and talks about “core” way more than male trainers do, and to good effect: it’s key to loving with good form. (I know this because my wife has strengthened her core and become an awesome weight-trainer, while I still can’t usually use my core, and hence still have poor form).

I’m guessing free weights are a pretty good substitute for pole because they both give your body external, heavy loads in similar ways. Hope it works for you…enjoy!

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Same here! In fact, I’m glad I’m not the only one who kicks himself (herself?) for being too lazy to practice outside class. Fact is, practically everything is more fun with other people around, more motivating, more encouragement, etc etc. Hell, just being in the same room with fellow polers is fun by itself.

On the other hand, having a teenage son lingering around the house for the summer isn’t helping my home practice either…

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Those guys are onto something! I had such an amazing (and amazingly different) experience in the “womens/beginners” class I started a whole thread about it, “A man discovers the secret”: https://www.studioveena.com/forums/view/52ed4e36-a690-4665-bf5c-1d130a9aa0eb

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I hope your boyfriend likes it! Here are some reasons he may or may not, based on what I’ve seen and experienced.

CORE: If, like a dancer or Pilatician, he has a nuanced feeling for his inner core and the subtleties inside his hips and pelvis, he will take to pole like fish to water. If like most men he hasn’t trained any muscles much at all, he can learn how to use those muscles elsewhere, like Pilates, and then use them for pole. But if he has spent a life training the WRONG muscles (like the six-pack abs), he will yearn for some twinge or signal from his core the way a spinal-surgery patient yearns to twitch a toe, and will struggle months with whole-body moves which core-conscious types learn instantly.

PHYSICAL HABITS: If he’s accustomed to moving things in space, whether boxes or basketballs, he probably used his joints in their middle ranges, not stretched at extreme angles. This physical habit is very hard to break, but it makes active stretching difficult because you’re not only inflexible to start, but the instinct is to fight an external stretch rather than assist it from inside. Another example is climbing with the arms rather than the legs; if you’ve climbed since childhood with your arms, it’s hard to even figure how to use the legs, or even to hang with a straight elbow and a retracted shoulder. And so on. Even motor habits about physical expressivity wind up influencing whether his moves look clunky or fluid. And yes, men are more sensitive to pain than women (that matters too).

SOCIAL COMFORT: Guys with brittle egos don’t take well to being half-naked in a class while being outperformed by older women. Shy guys won’t wear shorts skimpy enough to get traction on the thighs. Solitary guys won’t be happy in a crowded room with mirrors. Macho guys won’t do body-waves or widen their legs enough to do pole-dance any justice.

So even though pole is a near-perfect physical activity in so many ways, it’s almost as if society trained men to find it difficult. Good luck to him!

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…and I’ll be very happy to read it there.

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I go to Poletential; it has some amazing teachers, lots of really tall poles, an aerial studio, and best of all a ton of really fun people who are a pleasure to dance with and an inspiration to watch. And they have really good classes, with some really inspired men attending them (I’d be happy to praise them more specifically outside the forum). Love the place.

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On the original topic: I’m 52, been poling about 1 1/2 years. Typically the oldest person in the room, and the only guy (and you women thought *you* got stiff and crusty in middle age…). Pole feels awesome, has a wonderfully supportive and friendly atmosphere and really cool and sweet individuals, and is the first sport in my life where I’ve really looked forward to class. If I had discovered this any younger, I probably would never have gotten a job.

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I take mine down when non-close friends come over, because my wife is too embarrassed about the questions when it isn’t even hers.

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Thanks! Now I’ve got to muster the self-discipline to actually *use* it enough to make a difference, now that I’ve built it. Something about “follow-through”….hmmmm….

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Here’s something I made for home use, only takes a minute to hook onto the pole, stores in the corner otherwise. They’re a great way to learn body mechanics without having to worry about slipping.

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OMG yes! Classes are where everyone encourages you, so the lack of classes for men is a big deal; I’m so lucky to be at one of the few studios with coed “dance” classes. Given how those classes make me feel myself, I totally understand why newcomer women might get anxious about having a man in the room, but on the other hand maybe they wouldn’t worry as much if they knew that it makes us feel basically the same as they do: awesome.

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I’m all for the minimal dress code too; looks great, feels great. But will women in class be uncomfortable (or–just as bad–amused) if it’s a *man* who is wearing something tiny?

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“Fulfilling the soul.” EXACTLY.Not alone either, but with people.

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Thanks for those responses…I guess I really am onto something.

But I just realized one other crucial component: it works because the instructor not only has the skill to make women accept and appreciate their bodies in a darkened studio, but to get a straight man to do the same thing, in the same room, at the same time, with all of us getting into it in the same way and none of us freaking out. I don’t know how she does it, but I’m grateful.