I love my 50mm T-Gold X-pole. I originally ordered the chrome, but was offered a free upgrade, so I can’t refuse a bargain. I haven’t noticed any wear on the pole. It still looks great. I do take my rings off to dance and I haven’t moved up to shoes yet.
As for size, the reason I chose the 50mm is that I read it gives more surface area for the thighs, etc. to stick on. So theoretically, it hurts less and gives better grip. I’m happy with the size.
I don’t think you would be disappointed with any of the X-poles. Cheers!