KristaCNH
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Sorry to hear you've had a difficult time – and now with a surgery on top of it. <3 I agree quite a bit with Runemist & Zzzzzz that medicating many mental 'disorders', particularly 'personality disorders' is less evidence-based than you might expect. Currently no medications are approved by the FDA as effective for borderline pd, while some types of nondrug therapy do have supporting evidence. That doesn't mean quetiapine isn't going to help, but as Zzzzzz stated, it can be a bit of a crapshoot. Regarding therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy isn't so much 'therapy' as learning tools to change how you think and behave to get different outcomes & stop negative emotional-thought patterns. There are also natural & nutritional angles to consider as well like Shelbsy said – in fact there is some evidence for Omega 3 fatty acid supplementation specifically for Borderline as well as niacin, for other possibly related mental-emotional concerns. You should do more research obviously – but this is just a starting point. I'm not opposed to drug therapy – I'm a pharmacist! But it's important that you are getting the best therapy to really help you, rather than you being a guinea pig or being in a sense sedated to the point of losing awareness of problems. Good luck recovering from surgery & being well!
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http://pilates.about.com/od/pilatesexercises/tp/First-10-Classic-Exercises.htm
That has a basic list at the bottom in addition to the 10 highlighted. I prefer working the lower core so I like anything where your legs move with the rest of your body very quiet. This includes leg circles (single & double), single leg stretch (which also has variation w/straight legs), double leg stretch. I would start w/ 'the hundred' or 'rolling like a ball' to warm up and then do a couple 'roll ups' to articulate the spine & then go to the legs. There is a variation I like to do that's a long set but sort of hard to explain! Maybe i'll post a vid… otherwise, just those simple exercises are a good start. Really pull the navel to the spine during the movements & try to not move the upper body at all while the leg(s) move. I'm not a certified Pilates instructor btw! Have just done it myself 🙂
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There is already great advice here … one side note i wanted to mention: please try to do pole moves on both sides. I know this seems obvious, but lots of people don't do this – including me 🙂 I am very flexible naturally, but after training asymmetrically for a month and a half I realized my back had become really stiff & always felt tense. Even if you only do things once on your 'bad' side for every 3 times on your 'good' side… you'll be doing yourself a favor! Plus if i had to pick one strength exercise to complement pole it would be Pilates working the deep lower core under the navel & below.
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I also find back stretching – back bending in particular – helps my middle split. I think back bending warms you up really well, and releases a lot of tension held in the lower back & even hip flexors (bc the hip flexors stretch in many backbends too.)
The other thing to help splits of all varieties is pilates (or similar) – really isolating the lower core deep under the navel and below. Be careful because some Pilates classes are really just random core strengthening exercises. If you can really focus on that lower core, it leaves the rest of your body free to be loose & relaxed. Your legs will flop all over the place! : )
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Charley is soo right about tummy up – even just slightly helps, but more is better. If you look at even the best women in the world doing an iron x it's usually cheated upward a few degrees at least. I remember trying this a few times totally sideways and feeling lost, but as soon as i tried it tummy up (so your abs can do the work) it felt almost easy. Another thing is making sure you get your hips far enough away from the pole when starting out, which can maximize the push pull effect of your arms. Everyone's body is a little different so you have to figure out where your body has the 'best physics'.
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Wow… thank you so much for that very thoughtful response! You're definitely right that not everyone is going to appreciate all art forms or activities. I try to remember that. Maybe part of it is ego… I like being appreciated for some of my unique abilities like anyone else… & I guess it both surprised me & sort of hurt me that he just doesn't really care that much what acrobatic/stretchy/dancy things i can do :).