NightFall
Forum Replies Created
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I use my fitnesspall app synced with endomondo sports tracker, and yummly for visually browsing recipe ideas. Every time I log a workout in myfintess app, myfitnesspal adjusts how many calories I can consume to maintain weight (or reach a target weight, or gain weight, depending on what you enter your goals to be). It also shows me a graph of my macros for the day and major nutrients so I can make better choices. Another thing I like about using Yummly for recipe hunting is that works out the calories and macros of any recipe on the web for you. That’s helpful for when I’m searching for “350 calorie high in vitamin a dinner” (hint: look for the slow cooker tamali pie recipe).
It was also interesting to see on running days I basically can literally not eat enough (not without feeling bloated), so overall, the app allows me to eat a lot more than I would if it were left to just myself and following diet rules (ice cream & pasta on run days!!) and it means I don’t have to do any thinking about food beyond grocery lists. Which is awesome =). -
Have to agree with the webmaster here, if the site is considered a "publisher" of content, then allowing discussion of stuff like this can get it into trouble legally. It's also bad community practise if jamelia is a member. They gotta do what they gotta do.
Now, I hate DRM, I hate the film, music and even publishing industry for enforcing many arbitry legalities of what medium is aviable to which countries and at what times (why god, WHY must i wait 3 months after the film airs in the US?), and I would be lying if i said that i didn't learn my craft with software that ….."appeared" magically. I'm not telling anyone how to live in any way…just saying I can see why talking about this stuff on this site isn't reasonable.
xxx
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I kind of want a young iggy pop to dance in the horse mask https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_confused.gif. (Because of his nickname)
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This is so wrong that I really LOVE it! https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_heart1.gif
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Happy birthday, gorgeous =) xx
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Chemgoddess, speaking as a fellow geek (web designer and former biochemist) I sometimes think that perhpas we're drawn to wanting to "understand" because we do have social problems or otherwise don't quite fit in. I'm pretty extreme with my allergies, but among the tech crowd at work asthma inhalors, epi pens, photosensitivity and knowing you have gene ____ for some potential illness are so common that I really don't stand out so much. The time other kids spent "hanging out" i spent at home reading.
Having said that, there was an article on richard dawkins site (not written by him) that suggested that the genes that code for illnesses like depression are important because they also code for creativity and when not activiated for mental illness, they actually make a person more resiliant mentally. I can't find it but it's mentioned here. They basically divided kids into "dandelion children", who grow up ok anywhere and "orchid children" who thirve in good care and go awrey in bad care. Perhaps this explains why i love and keep so many orchids =)
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ps, i really wish there was an "edit post" feature. I'm always finding strange spelling and 'creative' sentance structures in my posts. :-/
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I definitly second the survey idea. Also I wouldn't like to be classified by age, and I don't think age per se denotes ability. I know many 30+ people who would sail through class because of their backgrounds in spot/dance. I'd rather be seperated by new: limited sport/dance backround, new: previous sport/dance background" etc. Or have a survey for new students when they register asking them about their backgrounds, fitness levels, etc so you can sort them that way.
In fact, now i think about it, the registration survey seems the simplist way to go without needing to label anyone.
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Being a good parent means raising a child to be able to stand on her own two feet in the world, so you don't need to worry about hurting your mom's feelings by leaving. She has a husband for companionship, and you have a life to live.
I think your dad doesn't know what else to talk to you about..i mean, it's not like they can ask about friends of hobbies (because they don't allow you either).
I think you can set up a facebook account with a fake name. Add people who your brother can't 'steal' from you. It's like you have no visibility in the world and hardly any outside contacts, so meeting people online could help you a lot.
When they asked you why you didn't date…would your parents LET you date other guys? I think if they ask again, you can just tell them plainly how the situation is, what you told us about not being driven anywhere, not being allowed to get a license, etc. Your parents are essentially holding you prisioner and controling you to a very high degree. If I were a social worker, i'd be a lot more concerned about that than you sleeping with an older guy. In fact, to me, it would explain the whole story. You could tell them about the sex and marriage rule and how you hoped it would get you out of the house.
Of course righ now you have no place to go. you're only 15 and have no friends or teachers. That's why i think part time work and getting to know some people there can be a way of getting connections, asking around, so that when the time comes you have options.
xxxxx
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The mucking out and vet plan sound GREAT! It's a first step and after that other steps can happen. I feel horrible for how isolated you've been kept…you can't even ask a councellor at shchool to speak up for you. It's normal to feel depressed and demotivated in your situation. I was the whole time i was at home (except at drama class which i looked forward to all week long). Keep fighting and keep looking at the long game. You're tough as nails to have made it this far, so keep in there. And don't ever feel like asking people for help or letting them know what your home is like is showing yourself to be weak or whatever, ok? Most people will want to help you in whatever small way they can, and we definitly need help from others in this world sometimes.
xxxx
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That is some heavy luggage, and i'm so sorry for all of it especially being parted from someone you love dearly!
I think putting your hopes on him coming out and getting married, and moving out of home that way is too risky because there are too many "ifs"..i'm not trying to be a downer, but what if he gets in trouble and has to stay longer? What if he doesn't find a job right away so you still have to live with your grandparents? If you put all your hope on one person, it's easy to get crushed. I want to look out for you. I want to protect you from more pain.
So, that's why I recommended thinking of what you can do job wise (college was just an example of a way to get out of the family home) to get out of home. Sining is something you'll need to do as a hobby untill you see a way to make money out of it. I know that is harsh to hear, but that's reality.
Try and be strategic, talk to a school career person, really try and point everything you have at getting towards being perfect for particular feild, or if you can't find something then just having stuff that looks good for hiring. Anything, like being in an after school club or doing community work looks good alongside good grades. I literally spent ALL my childhood and teenage years just working towards good grades for college/work.
Your grandpa needs a kick for dropping the subject as if there was ANY possibility a person who was molested would later seduce her molester. Really, you need to get out that house. Talk to school counsellor about possible job options, some types of work do internships – ie. they train you to work there- or do training weeks for people still at school. Some girls i gave a tour to were excited about becoming paralegals after school. You might even find that with your background you might like to work as a counsellor to help people who are going through what you went through. Jot down some ideas of what you'd like to do, what you think you're intersted in. You'll still be able to sing, but you need to pay those bills.
xxx
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Ah slow learner, you're in good company! https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_mrgreen.gif I recorded myself do a full dance (or "dance" as it were) last night and there were so many parts where i just walked around the pole looking lost with a giant "?!" over my head before clumsily starting a move. But then I tell myself "that's what video editing software is for" you notice all those fades in between some of the videos? https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_wink.gif
My motto with everything I've ever done is "just keep turning up", and over time it'll get better. Focus on the good bits in your recording, and if there are no good bits yet, keep recording, they'll turn up, briefly at first, but for longer and longer over time.
xxxx
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and PS, no matter what your parents can hope for, they can't control you after you move out of their home. Come on with that "you can pole for your husband". Start planning school and career /job options so you can get free! that's what i did.
xxx
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Oh sweetheart, it's tough having parents who are that strict. i grew up in the middle east, and suprisingly enough it's not much different to how you discribe your life. Apart from not needing to actually do anything religious other than not be seen eating in public in ramadan. All the same, i hated feeling like a little doll who had to look and act a certain way!
I'm concerned about that rusty pole in the ground, it might not be smooth and cut you. It sounds like a trip to get a tetanus jab and a lot of explaining and then family drama.
I think you should probably just join some other dance classes and maybe yoga or strength classes for now (How would your mom feel about Arial Silks, for example? Or gymnastics?) , and save pole for when you're able to go to college or move out. it's only 3 years away and that time will fly if yoour absorbed learning how to be graceful and strong..and then you'll hit the pole like POW because you already have flexibility, strength and know how to dance. I think just taking any classes would help you for now because you really need some fresh air and to hang out with other people. You can't live under a glass bell jar and I hope your mom understands that.
xxxx
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OH my God YES, I relate to your story!
I miss being all capricious and whimsical and unstructured and say-yes-to-anything and "jazz like". Now I have to cook/prepare ALL my meals, and carry all those meals with me in tupperware if i'm going to be on the move (allergies). Plus a lot of cleaning and laundry, and bills, bills BILLS, and budgeting for repairs and dealing with really unhelpful people within my compay and less than pleasant clients, and everything must be in google calendar or i will forget it and then go to bed early, wake up and do it all AGAIN. I feel like a marching band, not jazz anymore.
But pole does give me back that spark. It's a way to express myself at the end of the day. It's something i think about in between emails. I'll sit there and think "oh, THAT song" and maybe "if i do ___ and then ___ maybe it'll look dancy" (it rarely does, but i persevere 😉 ). I can be in the office listening to someone dressed much better than me and being paid a lot more than me giving try and blame me for something and think "my theighs can support my body weight on a 50mm chrome pole, so there!" and deal with them calmly. it gives me confidence.
I'm not going to lie to you, it could be anything you do that's just for you. it could be music classes, another dance class, amature theatre or improv, scuab diving…but for me pole is something i can do at home in my own time without needing a dance partner and is much cheaper (just veena subscription for a year + one time payment of pole) than other stuff i'm interested in with would need travel or other people, or payment per lesson.
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