Poledancefan
Forum Replies Created
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lol, in our marriage, My wife Laurie is the hooper….and *I* am the poler! She does indeed hoop at a pole studio where she also does hammocks. I consider hula hoop an associated circus art that is a part of the entire aerial/pole/circus experience. Hooping moves promote core, hand eye coordination, and musicality. Veena is a hooper. I also hoop–rather poorly, I might add. I thought Veena had some hoop lessons a while back…? And there is stuff on You Tube and also a private group on FB where you hand musical challenges back and forth. My advice is to get a blow dryer, the various tubing and tapes and begin to learn to make them. It’s easy and we have a few we made. You can go broke buying hoops. Believe me….I KNOW!!!!!
Poledancefan is Joel Lessing
Forest Park, Illinois -
Danielle’s pole dancer tattoo is my favorite of all time and I have to admit I was trying to hide the fact I was sneaking a peek when she workshopped in Wisconsin a while back at my home studio. It does indeed look almost like a photograph airbrushed onto the skin. It’s very beautiful!
Poledancefan is Joel Lessing
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Oh, a Yoga one? I need to check that out. I stopped going to yoga now that Laurie is in night school. It seems that without her to kick my butt to go, I don’t get motivated. But I find the meditation aspect to be really helpful because I have so much stress and obsessive thinking in my life right now. I’ll look into a challenge….but for yoga, I like having the guided teacher aspect…
Poledancefan is Joel Lessing
Forest Park, Illinois -
Yes, I wonder about the logic of the sequences. The ab challenge I found goes up in weird increments. But like Veena says, the “structure” and the motivation are good for me since I have a hard time getting motivated unless there is some plan in front of me and I feel like am shirking a commitment if I don’t do it. GUilt takes over, ha ha! I just saw Veena’s challenge for abs. I don’t want to do two ab months in a row. But I will come back to hers in a few months. I am thinking arms and shoulders next. I still wear my fit bit and seek at least 10k steps and 50 flights every day. I almost always make that unless I am at an event where I can’t do random walking all day…
Poledancefan is Joel Lessing
Forest Park, Illinois -
My wife takes an aerial hammock class at Rising Goddess here in the suburbs of Chicago. I’ve dropped in co-ed once or twice. I prefer some of the stretches hammock allows, although traditional yoga moves seem better for others. One really cool aspect of a vertically rigged hammock is being able to go up into frog and use the hammock to stabilize a weak or imperfect handstand. Since your feet are basically “tied up” you cannot fall over and you can “play” with balance.
“Poledancefan” is Joel Lessing
Forest Park, Illinois -
This looks great. I’m going to bookmark this and come back to it in a few months. I am in the middle of a 30 day ab calendar right now, but I can do this sequence in a later month!
Poledancefan is Joel Lessing
Forest Park, Illinois -
Anyone is welcome to take any of my photos (of myself) from Facebook and use them as they see fit–even to sell. I am a government employee, so I cannot make money from them and this is just a hobby. You can print this up as a release. It’s fine with me. I don’t care about or retain any copyright on anything. I even told MTV that when they wanted a video, lol. Make a million bucks and you can buy me a Corona and a pizza!
Poledancefan is Joel Lessing
Forest Park, Illinois -
For me, the date was a real problem. July 4th is the big Rock and Roll Fest here…just 4 blocks away and the biggest musical “local” event in town….3 days of music for $40. I’ve gone 20 years in a row and didn’t want to miss it.
Joel Lessing
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I think the context is important here.
The original poster said this was a bachelor party he (or the BF) was expected to attend. That’s very different from saying, “Honey I’m bored with you tonight, I’m going out to Scores to get my grind on with the girls at the club.”
I don’t know the legal context of each state, Canadian province, or country. Here in Illinois (well, the suburbs) you cannot actually “touch” anything–certainly not a “penis” or a “breast” or a “clitoris” or anything else. It’s pretty much a lap grind with clothes on and the dancer is topless. Maybe a boob will get shoved in your face, but the CUSTOMER better not move or the bouncer will show him out the door.
Look, I’ve got no problem with how couples negotiate their intimate relationships. I did not mean to offend, hurt anybody’s feelings, or disparage respect for women.
And yes, I did write about my personal experience for Studio Veena in a strip club. It was lost in Archive 1.0 and for reasons involving another individual who has moved on to other career opportunities, I decided not to go into detail about it. However, I was actually TERRIFIED the entire time. I mean literally, body quaking full-on panic, lol. It was not, exactly, an erotic experience. I got a lap dance. Let’s just say the experience was…ummm..interesting…maybe gynecological…but NOT erotic.
I’m on a mobile device, so I cannot scroll back and see the name of the commenter who took me to task so vigorously…but I’m a really old guy…married nearly 30 years and I’ve seen EVERY kind of stress destroy marriages…from fathers walking out of the operating room on their disabled children because, “I can’t take it anymore…” to just leaving from boredom. And I’ve known EVERY kind of woman whose ever been a stripper–from women who just see it as a job…to women who LOVE it and do it long past the financial “need”…to women who do it because they are desperate and need money. And the customers…yes, it’s different for every guy.
But…like I said, it was a bachelor party. I’ve been to a few. Usually…yes….I HATE them, lol. I’ve PLANNED them. I HATED the ones I PLANNED!!! I hated my own bachelor party. That is why I said “grin and bear it.” I was also making a larger point–which is that not EVERY battle in a relationship is worth fighting, winning, or even talking about.
So…I’ve got a different perspective in that way. And I do try to keep things light. It’s how I’ve survived being married 30 years without my wife killing me! (Knocks on wood)
Joel Lessing
Forest Park, Illinois
(Poledancefan) -
I’d like to suggest a totally different way of looking at this. Bachelor parties are like going to a communion Mass and drinking wine when you, in fact, abhor drinking and despise alcohol as a vice. In other words, the “Mass” is not a “drinking party” and even though you may have sworn to abjure and abstain from alcohol, drinking the tiny bit of wine ritually defined as the body of Christ is entirely understood as a “rite” and not an actual instance of “drinking.”
OK, so when guys get together to humiliate their buddy and act stupid at the strip club, joke around, get a little grind and booby touching, it is, metaphorically speaking, a RITUAL. It’s not sex, it’s not stimulating, it’s not a betrayal. Mostly, for your typical, regular, normal bunch of mature men, it’s understood to be mostly bullshit.
I respect your feelings about the sanctity of your marriage, but I think you are overreacting here. Your man loves you. He’s going to go to his friend’s party; he’s going to grin and bear it, smile through his anxiety, then come home with a big sigh of relief. He’s going to do these things for the same reason he had to take naked showers in high school, or be the last one picked for soccer, or get punched in the face because he wears glasses–because he is a man and that’s what is expected of him. Then he will come home and make love to his beautiful wife.
Give your hubby a $20 for a lap dance, kiss him on the cheek, tell him to have fun–then call your girlfriends up for some wine and scary movies on AMC channel. He will appreciate being released from this guilt and anxiety about his relationship with you. When he gets home, remind him–in that way you know how–exactly WHY he married you and not the girl at the club.
My 2 cents.
Joel Lessing
Forest Park, Illinois
(“Poledancefan”) -
Blush uses powder coat LM's. I would say if you are north of the 45th parallel or otherwise in dry and cold climes a good part of the year, powder just saves a lot of fuss that six months. But yes, they can get too grippy if you get a hot and humid day. But you can always make yourself less grippy with the tiniest smidgeon of lotion spread on a hot washcloth and just wipe your legs and torso down with it…
Joel Lessing
Forest Park, Illinois
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Oh my…definitely NOT! It's hard enough not hurting the man-parts with three pairs of mini briefs on for cushioning. But for men, topless is kind of a necessity for upper body grip–unless you are only doing hand grip work.
Joel Lessing
Forest Park, IIlinois
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Yes, and you can even paint it the same color as the ceiling or buy some of that fake "texture" spray paint that mimics finishes like stucco…or whatever…to match the ceiling. Menards has a goody bin of dowels, end pieces, and scraps from custom cuts. I once bought boards there for 12 cents a piece to stack under the air conditioners in winter so they don't sit on the basement floor that is prone to flooding. You can also purchase sticky backed carpet tile or fake wood grain tile and custom cut it to fit over the board so it looks like whatever is already up there!
Joel Lessing
Forest Park, Illinois
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This is a great thread. I was flattered to be mentioned in a few of the comments. I've been very lucky to find a pole home at Blush in Milwaukee. I haven't had any problems being accepted and there are 4 or 5 women who show up regularly at the co-ed and open pole time slot at 8:30 PM. It's a somewhat flexibly formattted class. We do beginner's stuff when there are newbies and work on tricks when the people attending are more experienced at pole. In some ways my case is kind of special. I had been taking circus classes with Amy, Andrea, Nat, Angela, and Maureen for almost 2 years. They drove down from Milwaukee on a regular basis for aerial. When I had the chance to go up there on a weekly basis, I JUMPED at the chance. It's 200 miles round trip, but worth EVERY single mile and minute. Pole has always had a social component for me and even though the ladies in our aerial skills focus group actually pole on different nights and days at Blush, they've come for drop-ins at open pole/co-ed so we can all hang out together in a pole setting. Amy is such a sweetheart; there's always a turkey club sandwich and a double chocolate chip cookie left by the storage lockers every Thursday. That's a nice little treat for the ride home and saves me time so I can get on the road back to Chicago right away. Fridays are VERY slow for me at work–I'm usually back at home and in bed by midnight Thursdays, so it works out quite well!
It's kind of cool how pole has come full circle for me. I started aerial lessons only because there were no nearby pole classes for men. Then I met aerial people who poled and had seen me at the very first MIDWEST. Then I ended up poling with them in class. Blush is a special place–very supportive and positive! It's been a WONDERFUL experience and I am very grateful for the opportunity.
Joel Lessing (or "Poledancefan")
Forest Park, Illinois
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It's good to hear from you Tara! I do follow your posts on Facebook, but I hadn't heard about the recurrence of the panic attacks. If it is any consolation, I have also suffered from them and many other kinds of anxiety related things throughout the course of my life. They seemto come and go in waves and are often brought on–or at least aggravated–by external stresses in life. And there seems to be a LOT of that lately, lol!! You are certainly a hero to all of us…not just for your amazing pole skills, but for showing the rest of us how to hang in there and push through the difficult periods in life.
Joel Lessing
Forest Park, Illinois