RaspberryAlice
Forum Replies Created
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YES! OMG YES!
Nothing is more frustrating then KNOWING what I should be doing and then my body just simply not getting it. This is me and Ayesha. I have watched a billion tutorials, tips and I know i’m strong enough, could get in form for it…but my body just refuses to let me do it. On those days, when a trick eludes me…I just go back down to the basics and cool off. Try again tomorrow (or next motivated day). -
– Does anyone else feel the pressure to do well around new people or instructors?
THIS is the main reason I can’t step into a studio anymore, no matter whose it is.
Cause even though I know i’m doing the best for me, accomplishing my own fears and feats in my own pace, the thought of being “judged” again makes me uncomfortably angry. I hated “keeping up”. The segregation covered up by “sisterhood”. All of that in my head makes me rather fail at home pole-ing than go there.I want to go to a really nice well-known pole studio an 1.5hrs away around my bday next month, but I fear not that I can’t do stuff, but what i’m confident in now won’t be enough. Feeling that “well, i’m a little shrimp again in the ocean of pole”, is something I don’t want to face again.
Yeah…sorry…I still harbor a lot of issues from my prior studio life. But this question total speaks to me.
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SOOOOOOO TRUE!!!
I spend a good 40% of my pole time laying crookedly (or however I landed) on my bean bag chair safety net under the pole thinking about what to do next than ACTUALLY doing anything. lol. -
Yup. I try to pole every monday, wednesday and friday. Depending on how my week goes, sometimes I skip fridays and have a 3 day break. Sometimes i’m just too tired, or sore or simple can’t seem to fit it in. Its nice being a “home pole-r” as I no longer have that worry that i’m missing out when I don’t pole. BUT…I still feel weirdly guilty, borderline anxious, when I don’t pole. Like an irrational fear that all my progress will POOF disappear. But, in reality, most of the time the longer the break the more “beast mode” I am when I do return.
Like today, I should be pole dancing, but I had a busy tiring weekend and could really use a nap. Waking up for work today I didn’t feel good so i’m meh. I might look up some pole inspiration to get me going. If anything i’ll at least do my strength training so my “body progress” is still going. There’s always tomorrow….
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I was always fascinated by exotic pole dancers and thought it was strong and beautiful. So when I finally found a studio and actually gave it a go, it was pure bliss. BUT….that love got real twisted real quick due to the studio’s environment. I was always pushed to “keep up”. I constantly searched for ways to stand out and I became someone overtime that I deeply regret. I became hyper competitive, jealous, and flat out mean. If you were a “trickster” I was even meaner and cold. I simply craved the teachers attention and classmates admiration more than pole itself. Fast forward to a year and half of this and it suddenly hit me one day. I was friendless, bored, the teacher basically ignored me and I decided to take a break. I wasn’t in love anymore. I didn’t like who I was.
So I was without pole for a year and I never not thought about it. I loved it. Missed it. Dreamed about it. Got my own pole 2 months ago and it took a while to unwire those studio ways. I learned to pole for myself now. My daughter and husband, my only audience beside IG, watches me with admiration even if it’s just an inverted V. I now crave the way my body feels when I do it and the burn/bruises after. I love the way my body has changed since I’ve started again. Yes, I get over excited when I nail a new trick or see a combos I can try. I get annoyed and upset when I fail or see things that seem so far away. But I don’t feel that NEED to be better cause well…its me! I have nothing but time. Its not going away. There’s no levels anymore. Lesson learned was I’m someone who doesn’t do good in a studio environment and I think that’s what can help or hinder a pole dancer.
(This felt like a ramble….sorry. But I sooooo know how this all feels.)
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I use my daughter’s giant pink fluffy bean bag chair. It squishes around enough to be under me as needed and makes for a soft landing.
If I had another $200+ to spend i’d get this:
http://www.amazon.com/Pole-O-Mats-Pole-O-Mat-Square-Crash-Mat/dp/B005IGXS28/ref=pd_sim_sbs_sg_3?ie=UTF8&refRID=12PE9W81BDC1VM0TRH8S -
Glad to see I’m not the only one. 🙂
UPDATE: I’m about 2 months into being a home pole-r and Sabina Rex, you are 10000% right. Everything just “clicked” one day and i’ve been on “beast mode” ever since. I realized I don’t NEED to pole like I use to. Just pole damn it! lol. Now i’m a thousand times more braver and I am more “intune” with my body.
I obviously signed up for Veena’s lessons, which gave me tons of stuff to work on and get excited for. I’ve done so many tricks thanks to her, that normally I would be WAY WAY to scared to even try (without a spotter or at all). I amaze myself daily. This is not the studio pole-r I was….it’s 100 times better. I’m not relying on levels or teacher/classmate attention to feel like i’m awesome. Its for me and it’s pretty dang sweet.
I wish that horrid teacher could see me now and all the potential I actually do have.(I did get my good ol’ iTac and use my daughters giant bean bag chair as my crash mat.)
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Its surely something I DON’T miss from my studio years. I hated watching girls throw themselves into tricks just to be the “alpha poler”. It’s always that one girl…ugh!
Back when I first started pole, I was the only other girl besides another girl who had been going for a few months prior. I managed to hold my own but looking back I was very much rushed to keep up. So one day, the advanced girl was learning the butterfly and my teacher was like “oh you can invert ok, let’s try the butterfly too!”. So she spots me a few of them, basically HOLDING me into place. Well, she tells me to practice that on my own and goes back to the advanced girl. Me, not knowing any better, went up…inverted…got into position….AND BAM! Face first onto hardwood floor. Knocked the wind out of me but was so quiet that the teacher didn’t even know. I was scared of ALL invert tricks from that point forward. I will say my teacher was still a new teacher then. She should have known better and I found it hard to trust her judgement on my progress.
The rest of my studio experience there was like Tigerschic and Phoenix, all tricks with little framework. Just pushing us up levels to make room for more new people. I don’t like it and don’t miss it at all. -
I did!!!
I use to be a hyper dedicated studio dweller for almost 2yrs, then I left and then a year and a half went by before I got my own. So it was a long break between and most of my strength and memory of moves had been completely erased. The first week I found myself extremely upset, heartbroken and angry. I even wrote a blog on here about it actually. But I refused to give up. I didn’t spend $300 to give up on something I loved. So every other day I put on some loud tunes on my Pandora and just wing it. One day I freestyled with my 7yr old daughter and had a blast. Another time I got a little buzzed and put on a show for my hubby. Each time “finding myself” more and more & regaining that confidence (& strength). Sometimes I look for something on Veena to try out, other times i’m just twirling the same 8 spins I remember. Sure, I still miss who I was when I was at my best back then, but I tell myself to be patient. It will all come back, maybe even 200% better than I was. I have nothing to prove now. I have no race to be the next level. So why rush?
Advice? Maybe start at the beginning and refine all the old moves. Feel a new sense of accomplishment, even if its like combining 2 spins you never thought to try before. That’s what I do. GOOD LUCK! -
Andrea Pole, I’m the same.
I love watching girls who do pole in heels and I do get that occasional “I need shoes” fever. BUT I tried it once back in my studio days, looked like an awkward deer and decided they weren’t for me. Oh well. 🙂 -
I got my thigh high leg warmers & sports bra from them and they are still truckin. Shipping/Processing was real quick too. I would recommend them. 🙂
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RaspberryAlice is mine. 🙂
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I was set to perform in my old studio’s grand opening of their new studio a year and half ago. I spent months going absolutely mental over everything, exactly like MizMacy. Then the month before the show I told the teacher I would not be doing my performance. Devastated her and cause a rather big rift between us. Its been 2yrs since then and I immensely regret ever backing out.
Learn from my mistake. Be you. Even if you think it’s not good enough, not perfect, not worthy….just do it. Make sure it’s something YOU enjoy. Don’t let the negative mental tape destroy something you’ll regret even more if you don’t do it. Good luck & creative vibes! -
My right hand gets soooo beat up. I literally pole till my hand is raw. Just got a new blister on my right hand, right where that thumb pad on your palm is. That’s a new one! Usually that just bruises. Oi!
My hands need to toughen up cause I’m not quitting anytime soon. lol. -
Recent victory would be freestyling for the first time in 3 years. I was never the type to “let loose” or be remotely sexy in the studio and simply refused to ever do freestyles. Now that I am a home poler, I turned up some tunes and just danced around. It felt amazing! My 7yr old daughter joined me and we were giggling up a storm. I can’t do anything “amazing” like I use to (yet!) but I feel less awkward and “in my head” now.
Nemisis? Shoulder mount. I use to be able to do it flawlessly. Freakin effortlessly. Now most of my strength is gone so I have to work that all up again. Even my Inverted V’s aren’t as fluid as they use to be. So really I’m back to the beginning with all my strength moves.