[Runemist34]

I’m really sorry to hear you’re having to deal with this in your workplace. I know that it can be exhausting to keep talking about it, but you may want to look into your company’s human resources, and file an official complaint. If your boss does not have your back, and is not taking you seriously or feel that this issue is serious, I think you’re allowed to go above his or her head with your issue.
Further, you may wish to seek out different employment. I know it can also be difficult, but you shouldn’t have to work in a place where you feel harassed.

[Runemist34]

Super excited to get into this one! I’m also really curious what you’ll do for the ladies who cannot do flags, or inverts, or shoulder mounts… but I get the feeling you’ve totally got something up your sleeve 😉

[Runemist34]

Also I’ve found that the best arm positioning is with right angles. Inside hand’s shoulder and elbow should be right angles, which means your upper arm is completely and exactly horizontal (level with the floor), and then using your forearm and hand to pull into the pole. Many people choose to grip the pole this way, even locking it between your lower arm and your body for more security and grip.
Outside hand would be just above that- not quite touching, but no more than about a thumb’s width away.
Veena’s lessons on the Side pole hold are really awesome at explaining this. It’s more difficult to do with words 😉

[Runemist34]

I strongly agree with Phoenix- it’s a matter of strength and time. Basic inverts take a LOT more strength than we give them credit for, and they can take some people a very long time.
Not being able to get all the way up until after you hook your foot is a clear sign of not being quite strong enough- and, yes, I used to do that all the bloody time.
It is super frustrating to just want a move so bad, especially one that seems to “essential” to pole dancing. It’s a very versatile move, and it’s a focal point of what we consider to be the point of pole dancing. I would argue, however, that a massive amount of very difficult moves do not require the basic invert, and that you can gain a lot of strength even before trying it out.
Side hold tucks, as well as climbs, and even inverted sit-ups if you’re really into it (I will do them, eventually, from a cross ankle release), can all help with this tipping issue. Much of it is core strength, and while we might think our core is rock solid, there is still so much more we can gain! I know I’m in the best shape I’ve ever been, and I have never been as strong as I am now… and I still have a rough time inverting!
Keep at it, and get creative! You can still learn so much more on the pole without the basic invert. You WILL get there, especially if you keep pushing yourself, safely!

[Runemist34]

I can completely relate. Tiredness is something that creeps up on me slowly and quietly, and I don’t realize what’s happening most of the time… I’m just constantly in need of more and more sleep!
I also find that my symptoms are much worse when I’m not on birth control (I take the pill), as my cramps become massive, horrible affairs like I’ve been kicked in the stomach (or, more specifically, the ovaries). It’s also heavier and makes me ever more tired.
However, there are… well, cycles to the cycles. Sometimes I feel nearly nothing, I’m still energetic and still able to go for all my workouts and all the other things I need and want to do, no naps. And, sometimes, it’s really bad, I can’t bring myself to do much of anything. Those latter times are rare, though, and usually I’m somewhere in the middle- fairly tired, but still able to drag myself out of bed, get my runs going, and work out. With much protest, most of the time 😉
I think that tracking your cycles might be really helpful- you may notice some trends that you hadn’t before, and be better able to anticipate your own needs.
Otherwise… well, you could put that week up to a “de-load” week?

[Runemist34]

I’ve been poling for 6 years, nearly 7 now I think… and barely been able to do a basic invert in all that time!
My biggest thing was training off the pole (with weights and such) so that I didn’t push myself too hard with moves I couldn’t do yet… and also actually pushing myself enough that I end up sore the next day, or the day after that, so that I knew I worked hard, and that my muscles were getting stronger!
These days, the most gains I’ve made have been these techniques. I’ve made a list of “easier” moves to work on, like climbs (which I’ve been doing a long time), spins, and such… and just made a commitment to perfect them, add some finesse, and truly learn all I can from these moves! Even if I can already do them, I knew there was much more to learn.
So, take it from me: Patience! You don’t want to hurt yourself (which I have done!) because that sucks. But, you don’t want to be too gentle, either. Gotta learn your own body, and find out what’s best for you!

[Runemist34]

Sounds like you need to save your video as a different file type! Files that are too big, or ones that are specific to a program, won’t be able to go onto the website, or played by the player on here.

[Runemist34]

Catsanctuary177663, I’m feeling that communication has broken down, and I can no longer participate in this topic in good conscience with regards to my health.
I respectfully disagree with you, but cannot move further this discussion.

[Runemist34]

Casi, as I have said- twice before this- I don’t think that taking medication is a bad thing. I don’t think it’s shameful, and I don’t think that it’s a “bad option” or somehow that people should feel like they should avoid it if it’s the only thing that has helped them.
If I have sounded accusatory or shaming, then that was not in any way my intent, and will never be.
I suppose I am simply trying to offer an alternate route to health and well-being.

[Runemist34]

Poleisnewtome… that’s sort of what I meant. The “underlying problem” of WHY you are depressed, of learning to pull yourself out of it, on your own, in your own way. Learning what is perpetuating it, learning how to combat it, and learning the lessons needed to grow from the experience. Changing the way you live your life, and learning how to take care of your needs… so that depression need not return.
Like I said, there are people who truly believe in medication, and I understand. My method is not for everyone, and it is a very hard, and long road. As much as you may have conviction for your method, I have for my own.
And, I think that’s the point. We both feel very strongly about the methods we’ve chosen that have helped us… because they have helped us! And that’s all we really want or need. 🙂

[Runemist34]

I don’t want to bring more difficulties to this discussion… but I must warn against the use of medication in a “long-term or indefinite” sense.
Medication CAN be a great way to get you feeling motivated and back on your feet. Medication CAN help you feel happier, healthier, and somewhat normal.
However, it CANNOT fix the underlying problem.
I realize that very many people believe in medication, and very many people see depression as a nigh-permanent problem with the brain. I must respectfully disagree.
All things psychological are biological. This is true. If you have depression, it is both a psychological and biological problem- in so many ways, our own thinking changes the state and nature of our brains. Our common hobbies change how our brains work. The way we look at the world changes how our brains function… and also, how our brains function can change the way we look at the world.
All of this is true, but what is NOT true is that medication is infallible, or completely researched. Unfortunately, medical science is still unsure of how our brain chemicals act in a whole and complete way. We have not “mapped the brain” yet. Playing with our dopamine levels, our seretonin reuptake, our norepinephrine or endorphins, can have catastrophic effects… or, maybe they can have great effects.
I’m not intending to scare you, or tell you to end your time on medication. Medication can be extremely helpful, and in many cases, it is successful in helping people feel better.
But, playing with your brain chemicals is a very temporary and expensive solution to an issue you can permanently fix. You can carry that permanent fix over into other areas of life and continue to benefit from over and over again as you age.
I think that finding a good professional counsellor is very important, but it can be difficult. You need someone who is willing to go on YOUR journey, rather than someone who is taking you on a journey they think you’re on. Difficult, but… invaluable once you find it.
And… yes, remember that you aren’t alone in this struggle, you aren’t doing anything wrong. The struggle may be yours, and yours alone… but there are very many of us who have been there, felt similarly, and who are all here to support you.

And in the end, it is YOUR CHOICE to take advice, and drop advice. I know that not a single person here would be offended if you decided not to listen to them.

[Runemist34]

Hey there!
I am so sorry to hear that you’re struggling with this problem. I, also, have had a long history with depression. My mum says that I reached depression around the age of 8, and I know that I didn’t get out of it till I was around 22, so… that’s a really long time. And, a long time that I refused drugs, refused anything that didn’t currently exist in my body, and that I never exercised. Counselling was a lot of misses, for me, till I found one big hit… one wonderful woman who told me practically the opposite of everything I’d been taught, and that society teaches you.
The two most major things that helped me with depression were these:
First, you are allowed to be depressed. No, you may not “have anything to be depressed about,” but that doesn’t have anything to do with what you’re feeling. People’s judgements about your feelings aren’t relevant, because they aren’t going to change how you feel. Taking this slightly further, you aren’t going to be damaged by feeling depressed! Yes, it hurts (and boy do I know how much it hurts), and yes, it can prevent you from feeling like getting out of bed, or participating in your day… but it won’t cause you harm that you cannot fix. So, you are allowed to be depressed- you are even allowed to, as my counsellor said, “Have it over for tea.” Invite it in, let it have it’s time in your body, and then once it’s stayed long enough, you can gently have it leave.
This first step was revolutionary for me. I struggled and fought for years and years, but it was only this that helped. Feeling depressed is horrible, and I’m not meaning to diminish your experience of it- quite the contrary. You are allowed to feel a feeling, regardless as to whether it has a “place of origin,” and you are allowed to expand with that feeling, so that you can encompass life as well as depression.
It takes practice. I worked at it for a long time, but the practice of it is more rewarding than I can currently express.

Second, and this may just be something that helped ME (but I’ll tell you just in case it does help you), I started writing down all the things that made me happiER that happened in the day. Not happy, because that wasn’t possible for me at the time. Just slightly happier than I was before the thing happened… even if that “happier” is more like “somewhat less depressed.” Everything from discovering a can of rootbeer in the back of the fridge, to sweet gestures from my family or boyfriend, to the flowers blooming on the side of the road. ANYTHING. I started with like, three… and eventually made it up to ten a day. By that time depression had become a kind of “habit,” a way of thinking that I didn’t know how to get rid of. This is how I got rid of it.

Exercise has been absolutely vital to my mental health, and I suffer without it. Most people find that exercise can truly make the difference, and even if you don’t really feel up to a proper workout, even something small can help.

One of the more recent things I’ve also been exploring is meditation. I have a fairly pervasive anxiety disorder (which I covered with my depression, until the depression became a problem unto itself), and spending fifteen minutes before I go to sleep, but while I’m in bed, has been really helpful. Not only does it help me go to sleep, but it also teaches me to relax, to allow myself to detach from the thoughts that aren’t helpful to me (and even evaluate if some thoughts are helpful or not), and just… spend some time, breathing, quiet, awake but relaxed.

Please feel free to talk to me if you feel you need help. I don’t want to just throw everything I could suggest at you… it would be overwhelming to both of us!
I am one of the few people who believe that these ailments aren’t part of our being… they’re curable, they’re not permanent.
So… keep fighting. You can do it 🙂

[Runemist34]

I suspect that this thread may be of help: https://www.studioveena.com/forums/view/2989

And I would have to agree: Do it when your surgeon says it’s okay, and take things slowly!

[Runemist34]

Finding ceiling joists can be rather confusing, but trust me… they ARE there, and since they hold up your whole building, I’m sure they’ll be able to take the pressure of a pole. If not, there are much, much larger problems going on there!
Depending on your ceiling, finding them can be anywhere from super easy to crazy difficult. I have stucco ceilings (which I hate!) and they make the whole process much more difficult, because it can give false readings- in either positive or negative. I’ve also had ceilings made of thick wood board, which causes the stud finder to have a constant positive. I could basically have put my pole literally anywhere on that one, but I chose to get a longer screw and put my Lil Mynx under an actual joist, just to be certain.
There are some clues you can look for- if you take a step back and look along your ceiling, sometimes you can see “which way they run” by seeing how your ceiling might dip and undulate. You can also take some lights out of the ceiling and stick your hand in there and actually feel around for them, too.
Keep at it, though. Not all stud finders are equal, and sometimes it just takes a little extra testing to find a good one!

[Runemist34]

I actually am in the same boat: I never played sports, didn’t take any physical risks, didn’t roughhouse with anyone. No broken or sprained things. I certainly didn’t trust my body from a very early age!
I find that “trying to put it out of your head” can be a bit of a problem. I have an anxiety disorder, so the things I’m afraid of are large and come up often in my life. I’ve been to counselling a lot, and the advice I’ve gotten has changed over the years.
Specifically, I was taught “thought stopping” when I was young, which is basically just trying to tell your thoughts to stop, to end, and to try to “put it out of your head,” instead of running around with it and fretting.
For me, this didn’t work. I ran myself into such a tight circle, worrying about how I couldn’t stop my thoughts, and how I couldn’t stop thinking about how I couldn’t stop my thoughts (and so on) that I could barely function at all. One of my more insightful counsellors actually commented that I had stopped breathing properly, likely as a result of this. She told me not to do it anymore, it’s just winding me up.
Instead, the more common advice these days is to allow yourself to feel afraid, but not to get caught up in it. YES, you feel afraid- of course you do! Doing something outside of your comfort zone is scary. Sometimes we can run away with this fear, imagine all the bad things that come up out of it, and the fear increases.
So, instead, allow the feeling of fear, but practice mindfulness and self-watching, allowing your fear to be part of your experience, but not the ONLY part. Allowing those thoughts of being afraid to happen, but not getting caught by them. They’re natural, but you don’t have to entertain them as something serious and truthful.

But, whatever you decide to do, I hope that it works for you! Dealing with fears is really challenging, and obviously, there are a lot of schools around it that differ, or even contradict. It all has to do with what works for you!