[Runemist34]

Thanks Laura! I’m impressed you have the energy for all of that! You must eat all the time! How do you… well, find the time? 😉

[Runemist34]

Haha, that’s actually how I get used to some of my more “normal” heels! I wander around the house, doing chores and whatnot. I am super not used to heels of any kind… my pole heels are like a different world for my feet!
I’ve really noticed that, since running, my ankles are much stronger, and I can stay on my toes for a lot longer. However, my heels are still wobbly! I do dance on carpet (nowhere else in the house I can go, sadly), so I’m sure that’s not helping!

[Runemist34]

I have one, but unfortunately it’s not well lined-up with my actual pole- I have doors in the way, and other things (like a bookshelf).
However, I do know this: Watching yourself in the mirror is WAY different from video taping yourself. Both can be extremely helpful, but they are so for different reasons.
Also, my mirror is quite large (I was going for a full-length mirror without the frame, got something a little bigger because I’m not great with measurements) and it was less than $100. I got it at a glass place. They do things like auto glass, as well as other glass stuff in frames, but… just for a straight mirror that you’re gonna hang on the wall? Super cheap without a frame! They even gave me the brackets to hang it up! It’s like… 5′ 5″ tall and like, 1.5′ wide? I’m totally guessing, but… it’s big for me, anyways!

[Runemist34]

Hey!
Yes, I have something of a… “healthy respect” for heights, especially when I’m upside down. I’ve also got a thing about being upside down.
In this case, I think the best thing you can do is take it slow, remember to breathe deeply, but to learn to get used to it. As you said, you weren’t previously having this issue, so it sounds like a natural, human-type response to being at height. Same thing as you get when people take a Theatre program in school and get up on the catwalks the first time: They throw themselves to the “ground” because they can see where the real ground is through the grating, and their brain just FREAKS OUT. It takes time, and patience, to get through it… but you definitely can get through it!
As I said, take it slow, do what you can, deep breaths. Push your limits as far as you can, but if you feel you need to take a minute (or just not push that limit again for a class) then do as you must. You’re teaching yourself something new.
Breathing is really important.

[Runemist34]

Hey MD!
So very many of us have these thoughts- Am I just not able to have that kind of strength? Am I being dragged down by something? Am I not as good as everyone else?
I would say that, probably, your muscles are helpful! Any muscle is helpful! It’s possible that you may not have the correct technique (which is a HUGE part of pole dancing, and can really make you feel like you don’t have the strength), which takes time and practice and, for many of us, proper tutelage!
The other thing to remember is this: Do NOT compare yourself to anyone else! Those skinny girls may have totally other challenges that you don’t know about, and even the fluffier girls will. Each of us has our own struggles and our own triumphs. We are incomparable as people and as pole dancers- one day you’ll be something that none of us has ever seen before, just as everyone becomes something we’ve never seen before, because that is the true nature of people!
And the whole idea of “Everyone is special, therefor no one is” is just silly. Of COURSE we are all special! That’s why we gravitate towards some and not others, why we have preferences, and why we are amazing.
Keep at it 🙂

[Runemist34]

I dance on carpet, too! I’ve got a Lil Mynx (Veena pole) 😉

[Runemist34]

Amazing on both dances! I found David’s to be quite moving, and quite beautiful. I don’t think I’ve seen a pole dance to the spoken word before!

[Runemist34]

Specifically to your post, I think it’s really unfortunate that your brother is being that way. In these cases I prefer the “if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything” sorts of behaviours- from him, I mean. Obviously this hasn’t been his way, but perhaps you could speak to him about it (depending, of course, on your relationship with him and your level of comfort having that conversation), because it is not appropriate for him to be saying hurtful, stupid things about something that you so obviously love.
On the “leaving my pole up” topic, I actually love leaving my pole up in public spaces of my house! Currently, my pole lives only in my bedroom- it’s the only room that has enough space for me to dance in, so… it’s rather unseen at the moment. However, the very first pole I got eventually was called my “stealth pole,” because it was quite literally in the middle of the living room of our apartment… and NO ONE noticed it! They’d be over for a couple hours, and then all of a sudden “Hey, is that a stripper pole?” And I’d laugh, say that it is, and ask when they noticed it. Usually they would ask because they had only just noticed it! They’d do everything from walk around it to see me leaning on it, and not even figure out that it was there!
I think I’ve only ever taken it down for some very elderly landlords who came to see us once, while we were in Victoria. I didn’t take them as the “open minded” type about these things, so the pole went under the bed for a little bit.

I strongly agree with Veena- if we take them down, we’re perpetuating that they are something to be hidden, something we don’t want to show others because we’re ashamed, or shy, or somehow not very proud of them.
So keep it up, and shove it in your brother’s face >_>

[Runemist34]

The hoop that I have can collapse, but generally circles like to stay circles. If your hoop has been folded or bent in any way for shipping or storage, it will take some time to get back into normal circle shape. You can just kind of bend and stretch it a bit, allowing the places where it’s slightly warped to reseat into their natural, circular position.
And, as Goddess KK says, many hoops that are collapsible have a small gap. This is because they’re intended to twist within those connection points, and if they touched together perfectly, that twisting into a collapsed shape would be extremely difficult.
I’m not sure if I agree with heating it up, though. This can be effective, but you’d have to be very careful with it. I’ve seen enough heated plastic and Polypro stuff to know how super easy it is to damage, break, or irreparably bend in the way you don’t want. Though, if it is really just a shaping issue and not a seating/settling issue, then yeah, heat will help you bend into the shape you want.

[Runemist34]

I think most people prefer to start with static, and then move into spinning once the have a few aerial moves under their belt. I poled on a static-only pole for a long time, and not that I have one that can spin, I find I don’t use it as much as I’d like, and the dynamics for it are very different for me… so personally, I’d say start off with static while you’re getting your strength and everything up, and then get into spinning slowly, but do it early-ish? Maybe in a month or two?
I’m sure Veena would have some clearer advice though! I know that she has a discussion on spin mode in her lessons.

[Runemist34]

Yeah, the different types of yoga can be kind of confusing! I suppose I sort of don’t subscribe to any of them in particular, though my book is specifically Hatha yoga, I purchased it more because it has pictures and explanations on how to get into and hold the moves, as well as some routines in the back with pictures.
I’ve been meaning to get into yoga more, as I said, but I just haven’t figured out a way of integrating it into my schedule! Getting up super early is not easy for me, and usually I just want to wake up slow, have my shower, and go at it that way. Yoga seems like exercise, and I tend to do exercise in the middle of my day… and I have a LOT of exercises to do! Running, rock climbing, dancing… we’ll see how it goes 😉
I wish you luck, though, in trying it out! Let us know how you’re getting on!

[Runemist34]

Heyy! I’m interested to hear what people have to say about this, too!
Also, I found this website: http://www.doyogawithme.com/
I haven’t had the chance to try it yet, but it looks pretty cool!
I took a class or two, and found it really nice- I think I prefer Hatha yoga? I know that some people prefer other kinds, though. From my understanding, the different kinds of yoga deal with different beliefs- Hatha yoga is more gentle, focuses on helping the body to become strong and flexible in a slower way. Ashtanga (I think?) yoga is a little tougher, believes that the body should bow beneath the spirit, so they tend to push harder.
I should go get my yoga book and check my information though 😉 lol

[Runemist34]

I sort of agree with Veena- one handed spins are NOT beginner spins! The reverse grab still is difficult for me… and I’ve been poling a long time.
My favourite spin for helping me “let go” is the front hook spin… but, again, it’s not a beginner one. You can do it two handed, though, so that’s helpful.
Best thing I could suggest is taking it slow. Even the fireman spin can test our trust!

[Runemist34]

Veena- As far as I can tell, the spin mode pin is all the way up- I tried screwing it down, but it remains quite sticky. Possibly moreso.
What happens for me is when it is fully down, or halfway down (but not between the two, or from halfway to the top) it gets stuck. It just stops, I have to push hard! I’m often worried my fingernails can’t take it… and sometimes I don’t have much for fingernails, so I have to find something to get in there and really wrench to get it up. It ONLY happens when going up, though. Going down, I just push down hard and it goes down. It feels a little sticky that way, too, but not as bad as trying to push it up!
Any thoughts?

Also, Shellie, yeah it squeaks a bit! I’ve heard that liquid graphite will help that, but I can’t remember where to put it. I barely notice mine squeaking anymore!

[Runemist34]

I’m really open about my pole dancing. For most people, if we get into hobbies or fitness, I say “I dance,” and if I get the “what kind of dance?” question, I’ll tell them!
For dates… I think that being casual about what you do will help other people to understand how they should react to it. If you are really shy and don’t want to talk about it, then they might think that you’re ashamed, or that you do it in a really sexual way (which, obviously, isn’t bad but most people in our society are shamed and shy about sexual things).
However, if you just mention that you dance for fitness if the topic comes up, or that you dance as a hobby, and they ask “Oh, what kind of dancing?” you can just say “Pole dancing. So, what do you think of the steak?” Not a big deal- sort of like going to the gym, or running.
Obviously you’re going to get the occasional freak-out, the “You POLE dance?” Some people may get into the whole feminist talk, the “that’s what sluts do” mentality, the “you gonna give me a lap dance then?” sort of thing… but those people are probably not the people you want to continue dating!
Or, maybe they are, and they just need to calm down and become more educated about it… and I’m sure everyone on this forum is awesome about educating the ignorant about pole dancing!