[Runemist34]

I’m on a PC laptop, my only machine (an Alienware M14) running Firefox. I’ve been tempted to switch out of Firefox for something less… stupid on memory, though.

[Runemist34]

Hey Veena… I see no chat link, either! I keep being told it’s at the bottom of the page, but all I see down there is the bar where I can click on “About us, Contact us, etc.” and I’m pretty sure the chat bar should be staying with me as I scroll?
Not sure what’s goin’ on, but I’ve not known it should be there, even during beta…

[Runemist34]

Issues with anxiety, as well as performance anxiety, are both things I’ve been dealing with, as well. There are a LOT of tricks to help you!
First, breathe. Seriously, if you don’t breathe deeply into your belly, slowly, as if things are completely fine, then you’re sending signals to your brain that it’s freak-out time. And it’s NOT freak-out time! It’s confidence time.
Second, practice your performance, and keep practicing it. Let yourself go into that trance, let your body move to it. Honestly, if you get a feeling for what you want to convey with your dance, and you understand all the moves in a sequence and outside of one, if you mess up your choreography, it’ll be much easier to recover. And, practicing your choreography till your brain hurts and you’re dreaming about it means that you can put your body on auto-pilot, and it’ll do it. Knowing your music really, really helps, too.
Thirdly, take care of yourself. Eat. Sleep. Have some relaxing time in the shower or bath. Take time out of your day to journal about your fears and how you really want to feel. All of this stuff will help you to combat the anxiety. Food and proper sleep will make sure that your body isn’t sending further signals that there’s something wrong (we’re starving, or we’re tired!), and giving yourself time to relax will help that relaxation bleed into the rest of your life.
Taking time to write, and journal, and discuss with myself how I’m feeling and why, has been the single most amazing thing I have ever done for myself on the front of anxiety. I express through writing, so it comes fairly easy… but learning about yourself, and being able to talk yourself down out of these crazy fantasies where you imagine yourself failing, is huge. All of those “What if” questions that go through your head go unanswered for the most part, and you leave it up to a nebulous, fear-driven answer, and that will keep you up at night.

Seriously, I doubt many people would notice if you failed, because THEY don’t know your choreography! As long as you keep looking good and keep with your feeling, you can pull it off, and perhaps even do something amazing! I’m sure it’ll be great!

[Runemist34]

While I very much agree with the Ted talk, and I think that keeping things a secret is really detrimental, I have to say that I don't believe that shoving our pole dancing into other people's faces is the right way to go.

Wearing T-shirts, declaring our love for pole dancing to anyone and everyone, and forcing people to accept it is NOT the way to make it seem natural and normal. Allowing it to grow, organically, the way it is doing now is the best way for people to accept it.

Yoga didn't spring up because people wore shirts that said "I do yoga and I don't care," and nor did it come up because people pushed it to be in the olympics, or because they had to force it into the eyes of society. It grew organically, as people became brave and talked about it, and as people became more and more aware of it, tried it, and enjoyed it.

Change is not something we can push upon any society, as people are generally resistant to it. The more we push, the more resistant many people become to the change. And yes, some people are going to hang on to those old issues, and some are going to drop them like a poisonous snake and get right on board. Most will be in the middle.
I think that the movement has already began, and we're in the middle stage- gathering people, but not quite enough have joined for us to be quite "mainstream" yet. It's coming, but it takes patience and perseverance. As in, it takes us being steady and doing what we love to do- dancing!

[Runemist34]

ADawn86 – How large of a test base is there for this pole? Does the company make anything other than poles, or is this all they're dedicated to? Are they aware of what we intent to do with them (as in, aerial inverts, Iron X's, high-speed spins)?

I'd love to say that you might have a new potential for the pole dance industry… but I'd need to know a lot more about them!

[Runemist34]

I agree, customer service is extremely important.

I'll also point out that the poles we're recommending (Xpole and Lil Mynx/SV Pole) are tried and tested, and we all feel safe with them. Of course, you'll get some great reviews for those knock-off poles as well, but… do you really want to risk your future safety?

Good reviews are based on a LACK of accidents, and you don't want to be one of those people who experience an accident. The poles we say are "good" or "reputable" are often used by thousands of women, if not millions, and are often used for many years. I had my previous Lil Mynx for five years, and sold it to a friend- it's life is definitely longer than 5 years! My current one I could see having for a very, very long time.

But those other poles… while you get good reviews, like I said, they're based on a lack of problems. Keeping in mind that probably half or more of the people who do have problems are not putting up reviews online, and you start to see why we're worried… hearing about the horror stories and the issues we've all seen from these cheap poles, and knowing that's only a fraction of what actually happens?

YES there are people who like those poles… but that would change in an instant if they fail due to faulty design, plastic parts, or simple inability to deal with the stress, and then cause an injury. All of a sudden, a "good review" turns into a horror story of someone potentially becoming injured in a very expensive and perhaps permanent way.

[Runemist34]

I probably pole for a little bit over that… maybe 30 minutes. I usually aim for my workouts to be about an hour long, and that's including things like strength and flexibility training. My warm up is also pole work, just lighter- I don't practice hard moves or spins, just keep it light, and as I get warmer, I add in more tricks, till I'm fully warmed up and doing the harder stuff.

So don't worry too much 😉 Most performances don't go longer than, say, 5 minutes!

[Runemist34]

I'd also like to point out that I've never heard of any kind of pole dancing club or society being in a University in Canada, either. I wish! That would be cool.

I'd really just like to have somewhere in town to share my dancing, though 😉 haha

[Runemist34]

Wow, I have to say, I'm fairly displeased to hear that a University (purported to be a place of higher learning) would have such an uninformed and sexist view of Pole Fitness.

However, I found the response from the PDC to be excellent, and I'm hoping that this issue gets resolved quickly!

[Runemist34]

All the Lil Mynx poles, as far as I recall, are rated for up to 250 lbs. I think most poles are at least that, so… go with what you like, as long as it's a reputable brand! 🙂

[Runemist34]

I used to get a similar sensation when I was trying to stretch my hamstrings… and didn't know that I was overstretching them!

I would say to ease off- you're probably pushing them too far. You may be pressing down on a nerve or possibly a blood vessel (hence the numbness) by stretching those muscles too far, and not giving it all enough room to breathe.

It takes time to get used to the sensation you're looking for! I still push too hard sometimes, and it is often different for every person…I even find that certain areas of my body feel different when I'm in that "sweet spot" for stretching.

Really, we shouldn't be stretching any nerves, tendons, or ligaments. Those don't (or shouldn't) bear weight like muscles do. Closest I've ever heard is the ITB getting stretched, and that is a TOTALLY different feeling and purpose from stretching muscles. That one is on the outsides of the legs, and generally isn't worried about 😉

[Runemist34]

Personally, none of my family have any direct involvement with my dancing… but, they don't have a lot of direct involvement in a lot of my hobbies, other than supporting me and telling me that they're proud of me.

I think that you could talk to your dad, and explain to him that you'll be doing some sexy dancing and perhaps wearing very little, as well as doing tricks, and that you feel a little uncomfortable with him being around for that. While he might understand that less clothing means more grip on the pole, he probably will also understand your reluctance to share your sensuality with him around.

By talking to him, you can also tell him how much you appreciate his support and wish to be involved, and that if there is a time in the future that you're doing a less sensual style of dance, you would love to invite him.

I think it really depends on a lot of personal relationships with one's parents- some people are perfectly comfortable with sharing those sorts of things with their parents, and some who would want their parents to know nothing about it, ever. Most of us are in the middle.

[Runemist34]

Yeah, names of things can be really tricky, especially when you get into the fact that some studios are barely aware of the online community of pole dancing, and just come up with their own names. I learned what Veena calls a "Back hook spin" as a "Half pint," and then I learned the "half spin" as a "swing dip." It's all very confusing.

Personally, I think the "Outside/Inside leg hook" is a more descriptive and direct name, as it doesn't matter which side of the pole you're inverting on. Many of us have our preferred or stronger sides, but when you get into more and more complex maneuvers, I think that being able to invert on either side without any kind of preference is best.

Personally, I invert on my right, with the pole on my left… but I'm working on inverting on the left, with my pole on my right.

[Runemist34]

I thought the response was alright, and she brought up a lot of great points, especially about objectification. I, personally, may have added a few other things (about the way people become or feel empowered, for example) but I thought she did a really good job. She also took on some of the direct points from the Psychology today article, which I thought was quite brave!

Although… my one thing? I live in Canada, and we have that whole freedom thing, too. So do most people in Europe, Iceland, Japan… y'know. It can be a touchy subject for people, and often "freedom" is a very subjective idea. So I think that part is in need of some editing.

[Runemist34]

Lil Mynx can do custom lengths for poles, too… You could talk to Veena about it, or directly contact Lil mynx I'm sure 🙂