[Runemist34]

Mainly, you need to work on the areas of the body that go into things like splits- hamstrings, hip flexors, and… the ones in the middle I don't know the names of 😉

You can always look up stretches on Youtube or general Google, and Veena has lots of good ones here on the website, if you have her Lessons!

I… don't feel charitable toward the 6 weeks to splits plan, as I feel that it is dangerous.

The main thing to keep in mind with the splits is this: It may be uncomfortable, but it should NEVER be painful. I can't hammer on this enough! You should feel a slightly uncomfortable pulling sensation, but never, ever should you feel pain. If you do, ease off, or stop entirely.

Stretching is one of those things, much like dancing or strength training, that you eventually get very good at listening to. I was not very good at finding that sweet spot between discomfort and pain for a while, but now it seems to me like that sweet spot is more like a highway!

Take it slow, and you'll get it 🙂 People can always become stronger, healthier, stretchier. Doesn't matter what age they are at!

[Runemist34]

In hindsight… I suppose I could work on the static hold, or the plank position, for now? Will that help those muscles as well?

[Runemist34]

I've had roommates most of the time I've been poling! Generally they don't seem to notice, mind, or care- unless they want to have fun, too! Now that I have a pole my current roommate can grip, he's been pretty happy to set it to spin mode and just to a bunch of combo spins and pull ups (that he just seems to get, the jerk!)

If you're a morning person who likes to work out early, then go for it! If not, just ease into it 🙂 Usually people are engrossed in their own thing, and will get used to you working out, and no longer notice 🙂 It's also nice because, eventually, you can be like "Look at me!!" and they can share in your victories!

[Runemist34]

6 weeks into starting my pole journey, I didn't know about that spin… or that inverting on a pole was even a thing people did.

I think that you need to take a step back and evaluate how you really feel about pole, and what you're looking to get out of it. I know that, for a while, all I wanted was to be "as good as someone else," whoever I chose at the time. Often, it was our "pole dance rockstars" like Felix Cane. Imagine how it felt to realize how difficult even a basic invert was, and to think "I'll never get there!" I went on like that for at least three years. I never did a basic invert, once.

But, now, I realize that what I really want (and the reason I idolized those people so much) was strength and flexibility. I want to FEEL strong, sexy, flexible, as well as see myself achieve things I never thought I could. I'm doing this for ME, and anyone else's journey is just that: THEIR journey.

I've done a basic invert, and have kept it up. My last workout, I did three good (for me) ones, which is more than I ever really do.

I keep struggling with my unhappy knees, my lack of ability to actually find and/or engage my lats (I'm getting there!), and my extremely frustrating fear of being upside down.

But I've made progress, and I'm proud of it. 🙂

TL;DR, what you expect and want from you is far more important than what other people expect from you. Their saying "I inverted in six weeks" has NOTHING to do with you! Keep going at your pace, work on the things YOU like, and perfect to the point that you feel comfortable. Move on when you feel you're ready. Dance for yourself. Comparison to others will only hold you back.

[Runemist34]

Anamika- Of course we'll support you! That's the point!

I find that strength training and flexibility training is very similar, and it's best to take a couple of days rest each week. I love stretching, so it's sometimes hard for me to stop!

I will also say… ANY kind of stretching or flexibility training should NOT hurt! EVER!

If it hurts, ease off!

I've done more damage than good by stretching till it hurts- I actually decreased my flexibility that way.

You should feel some slight discomfort, a light pulling, and try to focus on relaxing. And then, as you feel the discomfort fading, you can push yourself a tiny bit further, until the discomfort returns. This is why we work on one single stretch for 60-90 seconds.

[Runemist34]

I've actually done the same thing- take video of self, cringe, never record again.

However, I've been trying to figure out ways of getting myself to do it again. I'd like to increase my skill in dancing and movement, I'd like to be less self-conscious when in front of a video camera (or in front of other people) and I know that it's a fantastic way of learning more about what you're doing on the pole… especially when you don't have mirrors up, like me.

I think that it's sort of written into our general society that we judge ourselves very harshly. We see so many photoshopped "humans" in our media that we no longer understand that humans don't look like that! And yet, when we watch other people, we don't see what we see in ourselves- we don't see the cellulite, the wonky hand movement, that slight hesitation before getting into a basic invert.

I also think it's because we spend so much time with ourselves, and we internalize so much negativity, that we analyze ourselves in a bad way. Our judgment of other people seems to be magnified when it is turned upon our own selves, until all we can see is stuff that no one else even knows about!

Good experiment: If you've never pointed it out before, ask your boyfriend if he thinks you have cellulite. Mine didn't notice that, OR the stretch marks, which I think I have a lot of.

You could also try another good experiment! Go and look at yourself in the mirror before a shower, and see if you can find things you LIKE about what you look like! I've been doing this for more than a month, and really seeing improvement.

Eventually those pole videos are going to look like awesome. 🙂

[Runemist34]

Super excited for you, Glitter!

On the game of lingerie, I would say… find something YOU feel sexy in! It makes a world of difference. If you absolutely love love LOVE that bra and panty set, then get it! Not so keen on that other babydoll? Don't. My main way of purchasing things like this is basically that criteria: If I'm not completely sold on it within the first five minutes, or after trying it on, I'm not getting it. But, if it does everything I want it to and I totally love it, even after trying it on…get it!

Most women think black is sexy, but I would say that it tends to look fairly harsh with most skin tones. Try things like tan, red, and purple. They are often flattering to most people (unless your skin is the same colour as the tan, then that's kinda weird). Please be sure that you are getting a bra that fits you correctly! I don't even trust people in the stores anymore. I've been told by a few ladies that I was something like a 38 DD… and those bras had me popping out EVERYWHERE! I'm actually a 30 I, so I'm not even sure where they got those numbers from. It was crazy.

Basics of bra fitting: Measure your waist, right where the band of your bra would fit, in inches. This is your band size. Then, measure the fullest part of your bust. The amount of inches different it is from your band size (in my case, 10 inches) will indicate your cup size. So, A B C D DD E F G H I – ten cup sizes, I am an I cup.

You'll want to make sure your band sits comfortably, without wandering upwards or cutting into you. The straps shouldn't fall down, nor should they drag your band upwards. Remember, the band is what gives you support and lift! The straps are just there for shape.

 

Umm, anyways. Didn't really think I'd get into the world of bra fitting! But it's important!! You want to feel awesome and sexy and fantastic! If bras don't make you feel that way, don't get them! I love loose babydolls and stuff like that 🙂

A trick I heard for covertly getting into your lingerie: Say "I'm going to go have a shower." And then go, turn the water on, and get into your lingerie. Then, turn off the shower and go surprise him! Both my boyfriend and my roommate agreed that they would like that.

And have fun!!

[Runemist34]

Hi!

Yes, of course people would love to see your videos! You definitely don't need to be a trickster… I love seeing beautiful dancers do their thing 🙂

And Katana got it pretty dead on- more lessons, new Veena pole, lots of studios cropping up everywhere.

🙂

[Runemist34]

That's pretty awesome 🙂 I want to be that sort of old lady one day! Just with massive "guns" so I can take people to the gun show all the time 😛

[Runemist34]

Oookay… this is a bit of a loaded question, so my answer might be long… but bear with me 😉

First of all, I've been dancing off-and-on for about five years, and my basic invert SUCKS. I know that it sucks because my knees barely clear my hands, and it's still very tiring and difficult for me to do. I am improving, but… still, it sucks. To be fair, I only managed it recently, within the last six months or so.

So, your progress is your own. You cannot compare your journey to other people's, because you will have different challenges, and they will have different challenges. I see this often at the climbing gym, too- I could do two or three 5.7 routes before I could do the easy-peasy 5.6 route that we put children on. It took me ages to get it.

Next, you are going to have to seriously evaluate how you are judging yourself. My writing, for example, is something I CONSTANTLY judge very harshly, and I am always coming up short of my "goal." It's terrible, and I catch myself doing it all the time. This is an artists' plight, but you'll see it with almost everything these days.

Take a moment to acknowledge that you can do SOME spins, where three months ago, you could do none. Take the time to look at the progress that you've made, and allow yourself the congratulations you deserve. Three months is not a long time, if you think about it, and for you to be working on pikes and butterflies, is a big accomplishment.

I cannot stress strongly enough, though, that you will always find someone better than you, and if you keep comparing yourself to anyone else (even classmates- ANYONE), you'll judge yourself worse than you judge them.

You are doing awesome. If you feel good about YOUR workout, and YOUR dancing, that is all that needs to happen. Your journey is yours alone.

Besides, what if all those other people keep looking at you and think "Oh man, I LOVE the way she does that spin! I wish I looked like that!" https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_wink.gif

[Runemist34]

Hey Ruby!

I'm really sorry to hear that you're struggling with the things going on in your head, and with your medication. I don't take medication for either my depression or my anxiety, but I know some things about it.

First, I'll tell you this: It will likely clear up. Unfortunately, when it comes to medication like that, doctors have somewhat less information than they would like you to think- what you're messing with are the chemicals in your brain, and psychologists and doctors are about as clear about what those things do as… well, as mud. They have great guesses and some accurate understandings, but… yeah.

Medications like that, though, take some time to "settle," so after four weeks or so, you should know how it will be affecting you in the longer term. Keep in touch with your doctor about that one, and be sure to emphasize what you need to happen with your medication, and what things are problems for you.

I'm a strong believer of people overcoming their mental illnesses. I was told a LOT that I would never get rid of my depression- It was long term, very difficult, but I continued to refuse medication. I worked hard to get rid of it. After all the counselling, all the discussions, and all my lost and screwed up jobs… really what I needed to do is teach myself something new, and ask myself some very hard questions.

So, even though you are on medication and you may feel much better, I still think that asking yourself those questions. Get a journal! It's been amazing for me. And don't be afraid of the stuff inside your head- it is what makes you. You deal with it every second of every day. You hear those horrible things in your head all the time, even if you aren't aware of it… But, if you question it, if you explore it, you learn to rule it. You become able to make the choice!

And I wish you luck and happiness, no matter how you choose to go about it 🙂

[Runemist34]

Goodness! At 35, you're still totally in your prime! I heard of a lady at the old studio in town who came for a full set of classes… at the age of 85! And she was hot stuff!

What do you think you look like gyrating around a pole? Well, what DO you think you look like? Really! Because I bet you that you look sexy and amazing, and I bet you feel the same.

I feel very self-conscious often. I don't "sexy dance" when people are in the house. I'll do my workout and I'll work on strength moves or other things I'm working on, but I don't really get bump-n-grind sexy until I'm the only one home. I'm very anxious about people… even if they are my boyfriend!

However, getting to the point of doing any kind of sexy was not easy for a while. I didn't feel like I did it well, I didn't think I looked good, I judged myself often (flabby arms, huge hips, thunder thighs, look at that belly…) and it's an issue I continue to have. But, I sort of stopped letting myself say those things when I'm dancing… because, by the end, I feel SO GOOD! It doesn't bother me anymore, because I just had an awesome dance!

And… well, let me put it to you this way: I suck at sexy dancing when it includes actual moves. Steps, little bit of backbends, perhaps a half spin, that's as far as I get.

But, as the boyfriend and I say, sucking at something is the first step to being kinda good at something!

And you're on your way to being a confident, strong, sexy lady. 🙂

[Runemist34]

Personally I've found that many older people these days are fairly open to the idea of pole fitness- heck, they grew up in the glory-grow-up days of Burlesque! Which, I will point out, is now considered a very different thing from stripping in clubs, and is also seen as something fun and exciting, while also empowering.

For those who associate pole dancing with strip clubs and other wild business, I would say that you should sit down with them, and engage in thoughtful discussion with them on the topic. Tell them how you feel (by using "I feel" or "I believe," things that start with what happens inside you, rather than what you assume happens inside them), ask them questions about their beliefs (Why do you feel that this is different from gymnastics? Does it always have to be done in a strip club? What if it made me feel happy, and I got a lot of benefit from it, like strength and flexibility?) so that they need to think carefully about them.

And give them time, and space, to think about it, if they need to. And, if they cannot engage in thoughtful discussion with you about it, simply ask them to accept that there are things about you that they may not understand right now. And, you can ask them if there is anything you can do to help them feel more comfortable with you and your hobby, or being in your house… without giving up what you love to do.

Parents and In-laws are people, too!

[Runemist34]

I'd probably be somewhere between luxurious boudoir and rave dancefloor! Haha

I love the idea of having something like a plush red carpet (I don't mind pole on carpet) or some deep, dark hardwood flooring. Drapery just long enough to pool a little bit on the ground in a red or dark brown or black velvet (with the lighter drapes underneath so that you can filter the light when it's sunny and you want that). A really good chair for chair dancing, and maybe one of those lounging couches, both for the look and so people can hang out with me 😉 Or I can have a quick sit to think and drink water. Have a dimmer switch on the lights, put red or purple bulbs in the lights (humans look really good under those lighting conditions), and paint the room something bold, at least on one wall, like a deep purple or a soft but dark brown. The other walls can be kept something more "neutral." One wall could also be a wall of mirror!

And, on the other hand, when I'm in the mood, I'll have blacklights, strobes, and other light show stuff, and maybe even a fog machine (which, actually, would look awesome with the boudoir effect!). Make sure my sounds system is sufficiently loud, and get into the rave music 😉

Either way, I'd be happy.

Also I think I just designed my future pole room! <3

[Runemist34]

I'll have pictures up as soon as I can co-ordinate myself and my boyfriend into doing something at the same time 😛 He's the one with the good camera (mine's eating it's battery now), and I just seem to dance/stretch at random times during the day. I'll have something soon, though!