Runemist34
Forum Replies Created
-
Good to know, thank you <3
-
Bump! I'd like to know if anyone is interested!
-
I'm counting the days till I can get an SV pole as well! I think it'll really help my grip issues in the summer, and I would absolutely love to have a spin mode to play with. I'm so excited! September is going to be a fantastic month!
-
You can always remind him that, with the greater muscle tone, and the building of muscles, it'll come back, even better than before!
-
My ex-husband constantly told me "You would look so good with just ten more pounds." And, well, I tried. I went up a total of 40 pounds, and was the largest and heaviest I've ever been, particularly during the end of the relationship. I wanted to please him, I wanted him to be interested in me (because, well, I never "got any"), and I trusted his opinion.
And you know what? I was miserable.
His behaviour never changed, I felt awful and heavy and it was hard to actually feel motivated to dance or work out- partially because I knew that, if I did, I would lose the weight, and I feared he would be even less interested!
Now, though, I'm at a very healthy weight for my body, and I am wanting to become stronger, more toned, more muscular. I don't care what anyone else thinks, I want to be happy with me! I want to feel healthy!
And my boyfriend is totally behind me, 100%, because it motivates him, too!
And yeah, when you feel healthier, you'll be more interested in having sex, in going out, and in being happy.
It's your body, and you've got to look at it, be in it, and love it far FAR more than he does.
-
This one is probably the best in her series, and the most varied flexibility routine I've ever seen. You don't just get "the hamstring stretch," you get multiple hamstring stretches, for different areas!
She breaks things up into different areas of the body, so if you want to, you can just skip to the one you want and do that one for the day.
I'd say give it a shot!
-
Oh, and also- if you ever need someone to talk to about this, or need some support, you can inbox me and I'll get it within 12 hours. 🙂
-
I actually have had depression before, for a very long time. I know how you feel- I've seen many of my loved ones go through what you did, even as I did it to them. It feels horrible on both ends.
The very basic thing I can say is this: You're right, you cannot help him. He must help himself.
The bad news about this is that he has to find his "rock bottom" in order to feel that he needs to do this. Most people have different versions of "rock bottom," up to and including attempting suicide. This really is the deepest, darkest hole that one can ever encounter, and I've seen it time and again- everyone I've ever spoken to or heard of who had depression said that they had to reach that point (however they define it) in order to "bounce back again."
The good news is this: Your support and love can help him back. Having a life around him, and having friends, allows him to see that there is more there to live for, once he does reach that bottom.
The thing about counseling, or talking to other people in any way, is that it only helps if the depressed person wants it to help. If they feel that it is their outside environment that must be "fixed," or they simply do not acknowledge that they have an issue, then there is nothing to "talk about," in their mind.
Unfortunately there are a lot of misconceptions about counselors, and a lot of them revolve around the process- rumored to be something like scrambling one's head, doing hypnotism, or other very much less useful "tactics." The best way I can explain counseling to someone would be… being forced to ask those questions that you never wanted to ask, the terrifying questions. And, having someone there to suggest things you never thought of, probably think will cause the world (either inside your head or not) to explode, and… they would actually work if you think about them.
I'm currently going through this process with a counselor, dealing with my anxiety.
I would like to say that depression is complicated, it can come from a huge variety of places, and it can come out in some very destructive, hurtful, and cruel ways. It sounds like your husband is also stuck in what I tend to call the "victim mindset," and that is a very, very difficult thing to even admit, even notice, let alone to get out of.
I also want to say that nothing about this is your fault, nor your responsibility. You deserve to be entirely happy, having your hobbies and enjoying yourself. You love him, and the best you can do for him right now, despite any protests, is show him that a happy life can exist. That being happy in life is possible.
Don't put up with the bullshit- I know you know that already, but it's not yours and it's not yours to deal with.
Tell him you love him, but don't take that crap.
And remember that you're awesome. No matter what happens.
-
To be perfectly honest, I find that the little rubber feet on the bottom of my Lil Mynx are perfectly fine for gripping various types of flooring. I've used my pole on linoleum, and fake hardwood floors. And a lot of carpet 😉 I don't own a skid pad, so I just don't use it!
My only worry for you would be, if you put a lot of pressure with the pole on your tiles… can those thing crack?
-
Poledanceromance, I don't find you confrontational 😉 I love the idea of standardizing much of the tattoo and piercing industry!
Unfortunately in the current world, I've had about a million different pieces of advice about both my piercings and my tattoos. The cartilage piercings in my ears I had for 5 years, and tried just about EVERYTHING, and they still constantly tried to reject. I was told "Some people just can't do it," or "Have you tried _____?" endlessly. I refuse to accept that "I just can't take it." As I said, I'm hoping to try again one day.
I suppose I assumed that, if the piercer is putting jewellery in someone else's body, they would be competent… but I suppose the scary truth is that they aren't necessarily so.
Strange how alike the piercing and pole world are!
-
To be perfectly honest, any advice given by your piercer should be followed, and if you have questions, ask them about it.
Piercing's are like tattoos- everyone has a different way to treat them, heal them, deal with them. The vast multitudes of contradicting information that I received when researching the care of my first tattoo was insane. It was similar for my cartilage piercings, too.
"Should's" and "should not's" all depend on your body's chemistry, the way your piercer does the actual piercing, the metals used (and your body's reaction to them) and a million other factors. I've heard saline was great, epsom salts will heal my piercings, use sprays and Emu oil and all this other stuff. And, you know what? None of it worked for my cartilage piercings. Not even time. I'm going to try again some day, but only after my hair grows long enough to pull back, to I know for sure it's being kept away from them. And I'm only doing it one at a time next time.
The "science" behind piercings and tattoos is very much like the "science" behind being healthy. It will be different depending on who you talk to- sometimes very radically different.
So, that's my advice- talk to your piercer.
-
Hey Lyme!
You can also "block" a person on Facebook, which means that you will never see anything from them. No comments, likes, messages- nothing. Might be something beneficial!And seriously, if anything like that was going on here on SV, I would hope that someone would talk to Veena or Webby about it, because that stuff shouldn't be tolerated, and the person doing the harassment should be banned!
-
@zeemarie: Yes, that's a form of martial art 😉
-
Best advice I can possibly think of: Push your hips forward. It feels awkward and unsteady at first, but it'll bring everything into alignment.
You'll get it soon! I've fought with spins for a long time before 🙂 I got them eventually!
-
Well, depending on the grip tape, you'll probably find that the tape edges roll when you put that much pressure on it- it'd get gross and sticky pretty fast. You might also find it fairly uncomfortable after a while. Obviously there wouldn't be any spins possible with something like that, or really a lot of sliding in any way…
Not to mention the horrible mess if/when you take it off the pole. That glue won't come off easy!
But if you make it work, it'd be neat to hear about how!