Runemist34
Forum Replies Created
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Hey Joni1!
I have done some burlesque performances before- both of them were at least semi-choreographed, and both of them I was horribly nervous for! I don't like being on stage, in front of people, and… well, I guess I decided I was crazy because I did do it!
My first performance I did actually screw up. I had the timing of the music down, but not my own timing- both my gloves were off in the span of time it should have taken for one of them! I realized this about partway through. I knew my music well enough though, and improvised the corset removal to be longer. I teased the heck out of that audience! It was a lot of fun, and I wouldn't have discovered it had I not been so nervous and screwed up a little bit.
On the flip side, I did my other performance fairly well, and got… lackluster response, mostly due to my music. I was also really nervous for that one, but I remembered everything I'd wanted to do.
So, couple tricks for you: Firstly, practice! I know you have been doing, and I know how very boring it can be. You just want to dance, why do you have to do this routine AGAIN? Ugh! But, it can save your bacon later- knowing your music, knowing what you wanted to do if you screw up (so that you know where you want to be, and can get there, and make it look kinda good!), and besides that, it can really help with the anxiety of performance. You can tell yourself "I KNOW this routine! I'm going to ROCK this thing!"
And that's my second trick: Tell yourself positive things. I can't tell you how important this is! Tell yourself you're going to rock, you're going to have fun- you're not nervous, you're excited! The things you tell yourself become a big part of how you feel. This is actually a huge part of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, which they use to treat things like anxiety in daily life. Tell yourself good things, be nice to yourself, and suddenly… you won't feel so horrible about stuff.
The incessant "What if"s that you're running through can be really freaky, and I know that they plague me daily, constantly. It's an issue I'm dealing with. But, you can try to answer those questions and see what happens. What if you blank out? Listen to the music and take a moment. Do some sexy stuff- people like the sexy stuff. What if you're so nervous you throw up? Well, I have a friend who does that with things like public addresses, and she just tries to hold off till she's done, and then she runs off to the bathroom. See about doing that. Work on slow, controlled breathing, eat a proper meal, give yourself time to digest before performing. What if you fall on your head? I'm pretty sure all pole dancers have to face down that fear, even without performing! I'm sure that, by now, you're able to detect whether your hold isn't quite right, or your slipping a little bit. Breathe, and think of some ideas on how to counteract those issues.
Mainly, have fun. I know that everyone says that, but if you've ever had the mentality of "Laugh it off" then that's the best one to have when you're performing! Things will go wrong- I've seen girls slip on stage, lose their pasties, have zippers get stuck, all of that. It HAPPENS. It's just like any major event in life- weddings, babies, christmas parties.
I'm excited for you! You're doing something amazing that you've always wanted to do! Go get it, and be just as awesome as we all know you can be!
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There have been a couple of instances around here where people's significant others are less enthused about their ladies pole dancing than the social media would lead us to believe. And, while not all guys are into pole dancing, and that's okay… I don't think that being negative about one's partner's hobby is in any way alright. Personal opinion, of course 😉
If he doesn't generally care for dance, that's cool- I don't generally care for some forms of art, too! Everyone has their preferences, and they don't always extend out the same ways or for the same reasons. That's what makes us awesome and different. And, in some ways, I can understand his complaints about the "functional utility" of the oversplits… you're not exactly going to be using that in general, daily life, unless you dance for a living.
However, at a certain point, lifting weights and going to the gym loses it's "functional utility" unless you're a body-builder, and you get paid on your physique. I don't particularly see doing the oversplits as anything different! No, you don't really use the splits in regular, daily life, but nor do you need the strength to bench-press a car.
Personally, I would have a serious talk with him. As you've already gone for your splits and then some, you're obviously very serious about dancing and (I would hope!) enjoy it very much. It's not easy getting through this path without support, and negative reactions can make it that much more difficult to, say, get that beautiful Iron-X you've been dreaming of (or some other advanced move!). At the very least he can be straight up and say that he supports you, but he doesn't want to be involved. That, to me, is what partners do.
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I've lost a few pets this way, and it never gets easier… but then again, death never does get easier, no matter how or why it's done.
The last one was my baby, my cat Sage, who was put to sleep a year and a half ago in January- during my going through my breakup with my husband at the time. It couldn't have been a worse time to lose him.
But, his hips were in a lot of pain, and he had arthritis all over. He could barely move, he was extremely fat and… eventually seemed to sort of give up. We knew it was time when he didn't eat or drink anymore, and I think he knew it too. He was not having a great life, but he was loved and kept and much-pampered all through his life. We've always done the best for our animals, and we all knew we didn't want him to suffer a slow starvation, or some other kind of debilitating passing.
I'm really, really sorry to hear that your dog is not doing well, and that you're considering this one. 14 is within the "average" range for most dogs, and considering their life and aging, that's fairly old. I hope things get easier, and that your decision is the best one for everyone.
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That's the best moustache I've seen since Super Mario World.
Kinda made my day 😉
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When I got my forearm tattoo, I stayed off the pole for the entire two weeks it took to heal and finish peeling. The damn thing hurt a lot the day after I got it (and I had to work, with it covered, which didn't help), and while I could move my arm and wrist without any problems, rubbing was possibly the worst thing in the world.
Once it started peeling, I was completely freaked about anything touching it, too. Rub some of that fragile skin off, and you'll take the tattoo ink with it.
I'm actually not sure what I'll do when I get my back tattoo… won't be able to wear a bra because it'll rub, but completely uncomfortable being seen without a bra on. I'll probably try to aim it for some kind of holiday time, and hopefully while I'm still in University so I don't have to worry about a job.
So… I'd say to be very careful! Any rubbing or pressing of that area, or even if you slip and accidentally bang into the pole, could distort or hurt your tattoo. You aren't even supposed to go swimming or stay in water for any length of time (other than a shower) until 6 months has passed.
While small, I'm sure the tattoo means a lot to you. It's part of you now!
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Unfortunately, I have neither the money or the inclination to get laser hair removal right now- I don't even know if I want to have hair in those areas or not! Why would I get it lasered away forever, only to wish for it back?
Untamedshrew- I'll keep in mind about the stubble in that area 😉 I've heard a lot about epilators, and… I don't know if I'd have the fortitude for them. Piercings and tattoos I can do, but I couldn't even do waxing for my legs, so… I think I just like shaving!
But I'm still stuck on the question of whether I should try it, and what the ideas are for the pro's and con's on each side.
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Tried it twice… still can't comment on my own status >_-
Sorry Webby!
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I'm currently having issues commenting on status updates, like my own and Veena's question about the June challenge. I can write it, but as soon as I click "submit," the page refreshes and my writing is gone.
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I had a thought on the topic of criticism:
There's something I've learned in school called the "Praise sandwich," which apparently editors use in order not to freak the writers out when they send back the massive, month-consuming edits that need doing.
Basically, it's put together thus: Something good, followed by something that one could "work on," and then ending on something else that's good.
The best are able to talk about specifics in the "good" parts. In a dancing context, it could be something like "I really loved your off-hand movement, how you used it particularly at this point in the dance to express this."
That way, you get the best of both worlds! You can alternate between good things and bad things (always beginning and ending the criticism with good things, though), and really get through a lot of points. Anyone who likes positive, praise-based feedback will feel happy and like they have things to work on in a GOOD way, and those who like the nit-pick train can really get in there and have their feedback, too. 🙂
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My first skype jam was with Krissykiki, and it was lots of fun!
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Thread Necromancy 😉
But anyways, my Skype name is Runemist34, and I would love to have a bunch of people around to skype with! I dance… sort of at random right now, as my schedule tends to be fairly random. However, I've been considering taking it up with different goals, so some people to share with would be wonderful!
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I think you've really got a good start already! Workout pants and a top can be useful whatever she's doing- even if she wants to be comfortable at home, if she decides pole isn't for her!
I would say to buy her some nice chocolate, but it's up to you 😉 I know that I love chocolate, and that it would definitely make my day!
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Hehe, I know you don't work out EVERY day, Veena! Just a little exaggeration.
I suppose the trick is that… I want to be able to do that awesome stuff because I think it's awesome, and beautiful! I'm not really a competition sort, though that would be a fairly interesting thing to watch.
I've done it for this long because it's fun, and because I really like doing it. I love the feeling workouts give me, and the challenge of doing new moves or trying new things, and seeing what I'm capable of.
I suppose you're right, though! I am quite hard on myself. I've always been so! I might take a step back and see what I really want to get out of pole, and see what it is that keeps me from making proper habits. I have a difficult time with… well, time, so making a daily habit can be a little bit more of a challenge. When three hours feels like three days, and then five hours can feel like five minutes… sometimes those "habits" become weird 😛
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Awesome! She was also one of my big inspirations to start pole dancing 🙂 I'm going to have to go find her on Youtube again!
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I totally understand your plight!
I tend to stick to my stainless steel pretty darn good, and when it came to things like sliding all slinky to the floor… well, it just hurt! And I couldn't do it very quickly at all.
Honestly, just experiment with it! A shoulder slide can really catch me up if I press too hard into the pole- just a light press, just enough to keep me from totally bailing, and I'm good 🙂
I'm totally sure you can get this! A couple spins and a pole sit is an awesome accomplishment!
Everyone has their challenges. Seriously. Yours might just be getting used to different finishes, and dealing with your grip 🙂