Runemist34
Forum Replies Created
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*Shrug* Honestly, I think everyone thrives in different environments. I prefer positive reinforcement and carefully thought out (and carefully given) criticism, because I have an unfortunate self-esteem and anxiety issue. I'm working on this.
However, for another person, they might interpret the applause as false, or they may not need it- if they know they're doing well and can admit that to themselves, I think that they no longer need it from other people that much. Strong criticism may also be more helpful to them, and if they're really trying to push themselves, they may interpret that as a kind of encouragement from another person.
Sadism (the "sado" part of sado-masochism), for the record, means deriving pleasure from inflicting pain on other people. Masochism means that you enjoy the pain inflicted from ther people. Usually it refers to physical pain, but it can sometimes be emotional or social. Some people's pain is also their pleasure 😉
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Hey! It looks like you've got lots of encouragement so far… but I thought I'd add my own to the pile!
I TOTALLY know how you feel! I have NO dance experience, and for much of my life, I avoided physical activity like the plague! I wasn't strong, and much of the actual "dancing" I still don't completely get…
BUT it's all coming! Since starting pole dance I discovered a love of what I call "alternative" workouts- I go rock climbing twice a week, I pole dance, I love to ride horses when I can… I'm not the go-to-the-gym type! Boooring!
And yes, I aspire to LOTS of moves that, sometimes, seem totally impossible. I have been working on the Inverted crucifix ever since I got my basic invert… that's more than six months now! And it's still terrifying, I still don't trust the hold… but I am going to keep trying. One day…. One day I'll get that Jade split, that handspring, that shouldermount. You know I dream about doing shouldermounts all the time?
When I started, I didn't even know those things existed. I could barely do a fireman spin in my first week… I had no dance experience, so trying to do anything else than "power moves" felt stiff and foreign. And sometimes I still stick to just practicing my "power moves," because at least I know why I fail- lack of strength or technique, rather than a lack of some nebulous artistic quality.
And the dancing comes too. It does… and it's going to improve over your WHOLE LIFE. And hopefully, underneath all the cringing, you feel some excitement in that!
Personally, I looked up a lot of "beginner pole dance" youtube videos. Some are crazily cheesy, and some are sensuous and slow, and all of them are totally possible! Give the cheesy ones a try. Give the sensuous ones a try.
Everything comes with practice. None of us were born with a perfect body wave, pointed toes or incredible strength. I know you can achieve all of these things!
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Totally lots of curvy girls here that pole!
I'd consider myself "curvy," in that I'm 175lbs, and it's mostly hips, legs and boobs 😛
I'm not "Small," and I never will be. I bulk up on muscle, and I'm not ashamed or unhappy about that. I've got fat around my hips, and I'm also not unhappy about that!
Don't push yourself on the weight issue- you'll see it fluctuate, but know that you're getting healthier, and you'll feel really good, and that's the whole point!
Happy to have you on the forums!
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Hey ladies!
So much feedback! I'm really surprised 😉
Generally my routine is to start with freestyle, which is how I warm up…
And, in typing that, I just realized a problem. LOL!
Anyways, I'm going to fix that pretty immediately. My freestyle is no longer for warm up… because if I'm warming up, I don't want to do advanced moves, right? So I specifically refrain from climbing, from "strength" moves, and from more advanced spins. D'oh!
Anyways, I'll try to slow things down… and work on my floorwork. I've not done much at all, and I always love to see it! Someone told me once that she didn't like floorwork because she thought it was "too stripper-ish," and while this was in reference to Burlesque dancing… I suppose it must have leaked in and gotten to me. Comments like that tend to do so.
Video taping… I guess will come in time. Perhaps as I get more and more comfortable with my mirror (it only just went up a little while ago, and I still stare at it like it's an alien in my pole room), I'll get more and more comfortable with seeing myself dance and move around.
https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_heart1.gif You guys. Thank you!
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Sawyer Venm: I have tried to record myself dancing, but it generally turns into a disaster. Between me being hyper-aware of the camera the whole time, and thus unable to relax and have fun while dancing, to my watching the video and being extremely critical of my body, my movements, and everything else that goes with those, I decided to avoid recording for a little while. My self-esteem just can't take it.
Though I do understand the value of recording myself dance… I just can't seem to get past criticizing myself for what I look like to get to that point :/
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Dwiizie: That… actually sounds like a fantastic idea 😉 I've felt sexy now and then while dancing, but… it comes and goes ;P I'll have to give that a try!
Cherished: Could you send me a link to the online sexy flows? I love Rhiannan Nicole! And I've been thinking I should try to put a few moves together in my own way, and practice those… I suppose I've been being bad and putting it off, though. I'm going to kick my butt and get on it!
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Hello, fellow canadian!
I live on Vancouver island, so it's ALWAYS humid here! And, I believe we have a similar saying about not enjoy the weather and waiting five minutes 😉
I currently own a stainless steel pole, and while my hands are always grippy (seriously, I don't know what's wrong with me :P), the humidity tends to change things a bit around here. I find when it's VERY humid, like when we're having rain during a hot day, my pole can become fairly slippery, but on most days that I would describe as "dry," it's awesome.
While I was in Iceland, I also tried a pole there- it was stainless steel as well. It's very dry in Iceland! And those poles had great grip, even without much warm-up.
I have also tried a powder-coated pole, and found that to be delightfully grippy as well. With some warm-up time, I understand that they are quite nice to dance on… but for some people, they can be "grabby," as in overly grippy to the point that they grab and pull at your skin. I could see that being fairly uncomfortable for those trying to learn spins!
I think the main thing would be just to pick one and go for it! You'll learn about the finish, how to deal with it, and what kinds of ways to keep it or make it grippy. After 5 years of dancing on Stainless steel, I know all of it's moods! I clean my pole incessantly, many times during a session, and I'm quite picky about people wearing anything metal when using it. I love my pole!
I wish you luck!
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Currently, I'm scared of a lot of moves! I don't do upside-down well in life, so… pole dancing comes with that extra challenge.
I fell out of a CAR once, and while I didn't hurt myself, I've since not been able to trust the hold. I've been challenging myself a lot harder to practice it safely, till I can get rid of the fear.
The inverted crucifix is… probably the most scary move I could think of! lol! I think it's that move that I'll have to get if I want to actually progress in my dancing… but it's taking a very long time for me to tackle it. I don't try it every time I dance, and sometimes I can only get up into a basic invert… other times, I can let go with my hands and just feel the hold with my body still twisted around the pole. But I'll get there!
I more-or-less trust myself when I'm upright, but when it comes to upside down… it'll take some time 😉
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Sort of!
I do freestyle a lot, but it never seems to get further than a few tricks… and I end up fairly grounded for the whole thing. Nothing but the most basic spins and poses, and almost no moves that require much strength. I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong with that! There are many more powerful moves that I could use with ease, but I never seem to do so. It's very… repetitive.
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If I was your student, I wouldn't think anything of any kind of stretch marks! Heck, I've got them! I haven't even had a baby yet! They happen, and they're just a part of being human, and being a physical entity- the fact that you have a wonderful child that you love, and a man that you love and who loves you back, and that you're doing your DREAM job… THAT is what's important!
Stretch marks? Bah, I wouldn't even notice!
Best I can suggest is getting some higher waisted shorts, if you really feel you need to cover up, and then fold them down if you need to for certain moves. That's only if you're feeling you HAVE to though.
And, keep in mind that the stretch marks will fade over time. I've had mine since I was about 18, it's been 9 years… my boyfriend says that he would never have noticed them if I hadn't pointed them out. No one has ever said anything about them! Even when I've got my pole shorts on (I have some on my hips and thighs), no one says anything… I don't think they even notice them. They're more interested in what I'm doing on the pole!
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Hey!
I had some issues with getting up off the ground for a while! My knees were in really bad shape, so a lot of the getting up I had to do with straightened legs, or at least taking most of my weight off my poor knees! (They are getting better!)
What I notice most about people getting up off the floor is this: Butt first! Usually what I see for beginners getting off the ground are variations on how to get your feet on the ground underneath you, and then straightening your legs, so that your butt goes up first, and then your back and head follow (either one after the other, or both together). This can often be quite nice to look at! Veena's lesson on here is called the "Slink up," and for her, she shifts her weight all the way to one foot, and then places the other on the ground, shifting weight to that one while she pushes her bum up toward the ceiling. Things like weight shifts, how you position your feet, and what you do right at the end of rising can all go into the way it looks for you!
The other one that I use is going forward, though it's not really "pretty" looking, it's just functional (at least for me, I suppose I haven't actually watched myself do it!). Basically, I have my side toward the pole, place one foot forward in front of me (kind of like a really deep lunge?) and either stand up forward onto that leg, or stand up moving back onto the other leg. I can go right into walking from this, or some other move, so I don't notice the getting up so much.
I'll also say this: you're NEW, so be nice to yourself! You don't have to make everything look amazing and sexy and stuff- you're learning about your own style, and the ways you prefer to move. You might invent a new way to get up off the ground- you might, eventually, prefer a much harder way, like doing a spin from the ground. Remember that everything changes, even your style, so what you are doing now could become something much different later!
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This is actually something I've been trying to practice on my own, as well. I have a very negative view of myself, and I recognize that it needs to balance out before I can actually feel confident and happy with myself.
So, physical traits:
1. I love my boobies! They're pretty nice, and I… get a lot of complements on them 😛
2. I love my shoulders. Especially these days with so much exercise, like rock climbing, I'm seeing more definition… and generally I've never disliked them. They're strong and always have been!
3. I like my long legs. It always seems like people don't realize how long my legs really are- sometimes I don't, either.
4. I love my figure. It's taken me a long time to see that my figure is a nice one,and I'm still working on that… but I do like it. I'm proud of it.
For pole dancing:
1. I like my style. It's difficult to feel free and express myself when I know I've got a camera going… but when it's not there and I know it's just me, I like the way I dance.
2. My bendy back! I had no idea until recently how flexible my back is, and I continue to improve it! It's also mobile, so things like body waves are fairly easy for me.
3. My tenacity! I've had my setbacks, my issues, and some lengthy amounts of time without my pole… but I just keep coming back, and I keep trying. I'm not gonna give up! This goes for general dancing, and not giving up on a move, too!
Not an easy exercise for me… and I remember one like this floating around this forum a while ago! I think it's a good idea for all of us to remind ourselves that we have good, even great features and qualities. All we tend to do is look at the negative… but there is always positive, too.
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I think the main idea is that a flexed foot is okay if it is part of the move (as in, used for safety). Otherwise, if you CAN point your toes, you should, for elongating the lines of your legs and allowing it to look more graceful. Same goes for pretty hands- if you have one hand that is not currently doing anything, like holding you up on the pole or gripping a part of your body, you would hopefully have "pretty hands" that aren't just hanging around looking like chicken arms.
Generally, for a performance, extension and elongation allows you to look more graceful and confident, and it is also easier for the audience to see your movement.
However, when it comes to practice? I think we should be allowed to do as we will. I like what Steffie said: First, learning the move and making sure you're safe… and SECOND comes perfecting the move, pointing your toes, and making it look effortless!
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Unfortunately this sort of thing isn't kept only to race, sexuality, religion etc.
It happens to anyone, of any kind, in a lot of situations. When I was much younger, I was outcaste for being shy (I was actually suffering, and still do suffer, an anxiety problem). As I got older, I was criticized for being thin, or not "developing" at the same time as all the other girls. Or because I couldn't talk properly (again, anxiety, makes one's mouth occasionally misbehave), or because I just hid away from everyone and read or wrote, or because I wasn't interested in dating the "popular boys," or at all.
And now, the media criticizes me for being fat, for not eating perfectly, for having curly hair, for having a round face or nose, for being a writer (or should I say, "artist"), for being female, for being… anything.
It upsets me to see someone commit so much self-hatred because of their skin colour. The only time I actually SEE someone's skin colour is to appreciate how beautiful it is! To me, it's the same as coloured hair, or having large hands- there's no right or wrong to it, and often, our differences make us beautiful!
Then again, it upsets me to see any self-hatred. I know what it's like… I engage in it often, and have been doing my best to teach myself a better way for some time now. The process is slow, but it still progresses.
Zoey, keep looking for someplace that accepts you and who you are. I know they're out there. Scotland is a beautiful, ample place, and I would also love to get married there! Or even just visit there!
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It is certainly ironic! And I love that you see that 😉
I apologize if I came across a little strongly! I think I neglected to feed myself >_-
My boyfriend is always catching me on that one.
