[Runemist34]

Hey there!
Unfortunately for most of us, “fast” and “safe” are sort of mutually exclusive when it comes to flexibility training. Growing your flexibility takes time- Alethea Austin talks about how it took her 5 years of very consistent practice to get her splits!
I would recommend the lessons on here, as Veena is great about things like proper alignment and safety. I would also say that Alethea Austin’s DVD’s are quite good as well.
Personally, I enjoy yoga for my flexibility goals. It is tough enough and meditative enough that I stay interested and stick with it as a practice, with consistency, and I am seeing myself becoming more flexible.

Mainly, find something that you can stick with. And, please, never stretch to the point of pain.

[Runemist34]

Hey there!
This is also a fear I struggle with, and I was working on, when I had been training before my shoulder injury.
I am totally scared to let go with my hands in this position, because I often feel that my leg position is precarious, and I apparently feel most comfortable gripping with my thighs, rather than the lower legs. I also think that, because all of the grip is so distributed along the legs, I feel the pull less, and wonder if my grip actually exists at all!
So, my best recommendation is to work slowly, but also to push yourself, just a little bit!
When working from the handstand, getting the legs up the pole requires a bit of a rocking back motion with the upper body, in order for the hands to come closer and closer to the pole. Once you are in position (and, I should add, anytime I’m in the inverted crucifix position, my legs are not exactly straight!) you can work on pushing your comfort zone by lifting one hand. Switch hands when you can, and remember to breathe.
From a basic invert, I found that positioning the legs was fairly easy (again, not straight! I worried about that a while, but I think looking at other people, and feeling it yourself, can be one of those things where you think other’s legs are straight, but they really aren’t), but getting my upper body around the pole and looking down was quite terrifying!
So, again, best way to do it is to grip hard with the legs, and carefully experiment. Don’t bring your torso around, just take one hand off the pole. And then, switch hands. Eventually, you can work on bringing that torso around and wait, get yourself used to it. Then, start working on the hands again.

It’s a form of desensitization that will really help you to get through this fear in general, but it is NOT a quick solution! These sorts of things can come up again and again, with each new move, with each day. It can be more difficult some days, and less on other days. You might feel like you make progress, and then lose it.
Just keep trying! Keep facing down that fear, keep pushing that comfort zone, a little bit.
Don’t push too hard, or you might end up turning turtle and running right back to that comfort zone and not wanting to come out for a while.
Be gentle with yourself. This is something that your body and mind feel is terrifying, and probably is deep into your psyche. It’s sort of like people who are afraid of spiders; it’s not that they had a really bad experience with them, it’s just something that happens, it’s buried in there, deep and instinctual.

So, work slow, take baby steps. Breathe.

[Runemist34]

Super exciting! Congrats on getting married, and on the move, as well!
I happen to know that there are a few pole dancing studios out there… Bobbi’s Pole Studio is a pretty famous one! It’s where Felix Cane trained.
Keep us posted on how things go! Hope you have lots of fun!!

[Runemist34]

I definitely feel your pain… I’ve been procrastinating getting back at it for fear that I’ll barely be able to Fireman spin, and out of fear of my shoulder getting angry again.
However, when it comes to restarting, it can be an excellent opportunity!
If ever there were those “beginner” moves that you liked, but just “didn’t have time to practice,” because you were working hard on your butterfly or trying to get that scorpio instead, the restriction of your new beginning may actually be a way to get into those moves, and learn to incorporate them into your dancing the way you had once wanted!
Also, you can spice things up a bit by trying new styles (like tacha666 doing russian style exotic pole!) or different combos than the ones you had before, and seeing how you like them. If you always admired exotic pole, but never really got into it, now is a good time to give it a little go!
Working on frustrating poles is never easy… but you’ll get it for sure! And then you’ll never have to worry about your grip, ever again 😉

Good luck!

[Runemist34]

Sounds like you might want to see a doctor about your hair. It could be indicative of something larger going on in your body, and would be best to get it checked out, so that you know you are healthy.
As for wigs, I’m fairly certain that there are many options out there, but I think most people have ones that fit well, and use bobby pins and things to hold it to their head. Wigs are not the most stable things out there, so you may need to get into some innovation for something like pole dancing with a wig, especially inverting.
Good luck!

[Runemist34]

Wow, it really sounds like you did a number on your body!
Congrats on making money through dancing, and I’m happy to hear that you’re excited about it! Sounds like you had a lot of fun, too.
The balance, I think, is going to have to be in not killing yourself like this every time you go on stage 😉 Transitioning from playtime dancing, into work dancing, just like any other sport can really do a number on your body.
I would highly recommend making SURE you stretch (not flexibility training!) for your days off. Maybe some light yoga (like, REALLY LIGHT yoga) in order to make sure your muscles aren’t cramping up, and you’re getting the blood moving.
I’ve heard that foam rolling can help with the delayed onset muscle soreness (also known as DOMS, in case you want to look it up), but make sure to take it easy there, too.
I find that a good bath helps, as well as a shower in which you switch from hot to very cool (not to the point that you’re either burning or shivering, but making sure the temperature difference is clear to your body). If you let yourself get used to the temperature before switching, it can be quite effective.
Massages for relaxation can also be super amazing, if you can afford them.
Sleep, eat lots, and drink lots of water!
For your feet… well, that’s going to take time to heal. I don’t have any special healing magic for that 😉

You can always look up other methods, too. These are common ways, and I’ve found them to be quite effective. You might find some others 😉

Good luck!

[Runemist34]

I totally know how this goes. Balancing my many, many hobbies has been something of a roller coaster of learning where, and how, I get my energy, and how much I can possibly have in a day. It tends to vary, but there are certain things I can do to help it along… but, sometimes those things take energy, too!
Starting a business is SO time and energy consuming, so keep your head up, and make sure you give yourself the credit you really do deserve for putting yourself out there and going to get the things you really want in life!
As for getting some pole in there… have you considered doing some “light pole” instead of a full workout? Sometimes just having the holding pattern, rather than focusing on progression, can still fulfill you, and it can keep you strong until you are back to being able to get back to the hard stuff.
Just working on your transitions, doing moves you love, maybe even staying grounded for most of the time. It can still be lots of fun that way! And you might come out finding little quirks about some simple moves that you get to work out and make more fluid, instead of pushing yourself to get stronger and having more moves under your belt.
Just a thought, anyways 😉

It WILL pass. Take care of yourself 🙂

[Runemist34]

I realized I didn’t say this: I think this is a fantastic idea, and I really like it, all over, in general! I hope you continue it for a while, Veena!

[Runemist34]

I’m super excited for those tricky “beginner” moves, like the basic invert. Would help me out a lot to have some focused training for it, so that I can start training other fun things! Also, perhaps the CAR? I know it’s a tricky move, and I’ve fallen from it before. I’m never entirely sure if I got it completely right so as not to fall again! It looks so lovely

[Runemist34]

Would looooove some awesome quick lessons on beginner stuff!

[Runemist34]

I may not be close to menopause, but I have felt my own subtle aging effects, as well as having to deal with some depression, and balancing work, life, and exercise.
On the energy standpoint… are you eating enough? I know this may seem counterintuitive when it comes to wanting to manage “weight” or fat on your body, it is also extremely important to your ability to feel like you have enough energy to exercise, and also to sleep! Sleeping burns calories, and as I’ve been learning recently, sometimes you can’t sleep if you push yourself too hard, without enough food. I’ve felt fine when I go to bed, but toss and turn during the night, if I’ve skipped a meal (especially if I close at work, and just want to go to bed, but haven’t eaten for 5 hours!).
Otherwise, hormones play a big part in our bodies, and how they work. See a doctor about your concerns, and talk to them about your energy levels. If this change (of energy) has happened without your lifestyle changing, you may need to look into some more alternatives to your current medication.
Depression is… difficult. It’s not something that is easy to navigate, and it’s not something that people often talk about navigating. Most of the time, people want to stick some drugs in you and call you better, because you feel better. But, in my experience, depression is a symptom of other issues, be they mental or physical. You may need to change your diet, your routine, your work, your self-care. You may actually need to learn to manage your depression in other ways, too. Many of the people I’ve talked to with depression indicate that social media, and sometimes news media and such, can be very difficult, and trigger a bout of depression. Other things, too, can be difficult on the depression, and make it feel worse.
The best thing I learned to do is to redefine how I see my life, my day, and my world. Accepting that there are going to be rough parts of life is a definite need for most of us. They DO happen, and they are not going to kill us. Change us, perhaps, but often we come out stronger and tougher than before. Also, making a point to see the things that make YOU happy, or even just slightly less depressed, is really important. Training yourself this way is deceptively simple, and yet oh-so difficult. Personally, I made a list. 5 things, every day, that happened to me that made me feel slightly less depressed (or just the tiniest bit more happy). It doesn’t matter how small, or stupid you might think it is. Anything from finding a can of your favourite beverage in the back of the fridge, to the way your dog wags it’s tail. Things so simple as “I liked the colour green today.” It doesn’t matter what it is, how small it is, or how silly it may seem… write it down!!
Eventually, work your way up to 10 things every day. You’ll have to pay more and more attention each day to find new things.

Finally… you’re allowed to have down-time. Even when you are able to get back to those things you love, downtime is important. Rest is needed. Your body may be requiring a little more rest.

And try not to work too hard. 10 hours seems like a lot!!

[Runemist34]

A lot of this “take it easy” stuff comes from some very old thinking about pregnant women, way back when we weren’t sure why women and their babies were dying of childbirth, and when there was absolutely no research or understanding of women’s health.
Way back, we used to not even go for walks when we were pregnant. Obviously, this was mostly the upper and middle class, as the lower class couldn’t afford to sit around (and were, unfortunately, subject to higher death rates). They wouldn’t go for walks, wouldn’t cook or clean, nothing. They wouldn’t even touch animals. Suddenly, you went from some activity to NOTHING.
We still have a pretty loose understanding of women’s health, especially during pregnancy. I’m not sure why, exactly, but our healthcare continues to be fairly male-centric in how things work with our bodies and brains, so pregnancy becomes a mystery in that world. We have a BETTER understanding of it, and mother/infant death rates are at an all-time low, but still… we have holdovers from those times.
The idea, I think, is that when we are pregnant, all of our energy (especially physically) is going to creating the baby, and that we are suddenly supposed to become entirely encompassed in this. Getting also into the psychological world, I think it is seen as selfish, somehow, that a woman who is to be a mother (or, a mother) would still be doing the things that SHE loves, rather than focusing all of her energy entirely into the baby or child she has.
We put a serious amount of stress and expectation on mothers in our society- I know that, in the US, there isn’t any kind of paid maternity leave, even if the expecting mother is in dire need (perhaps a high risk, or suddenly requiring medical attention). We expect them to be constantly happy about the baby, constantly excited, as if emotions are somehow going to work to our will. We still expect them to care for their household and their partners (if any), and to be glowing and serene. Once the baby comes, they are simply supposed to pick their lives up immediately where they “left off” since becoming pregnant, with the addition of caring for another human being. And, also supposed to “drop all that baby weight,” among other things.

Like I said, there is very little known about how women’s bodies work, in the medical world, and especially in the normal world.
These people are simply ignorant, and working off of old assumptions and beliefs.
I think that, if you can exercise, pole dance, go for walks or runs, anything… do it. If it keeps you happy and healthy, do it. Be kind to yourself. The best way to model for your child how they should take care of themselves is for you to take care of yourself. Simply dropping that for 9 months is going to put a fairly lengthy damper on that self-care.

[Runemist34]

Yay! I actually know how to use Facebook, so this should be easier 😉 And I’m always frigging on it, unless I’m working. Darn Facebook 😛
I never heard about this Periscope thing and people asking to see your boobs! Oh, the internet… so strange sometimes.

[Runemist34]

I know which one the brass monkey is, but I’m not sure if there would be a way to press up into it? Most people learn the control to lift their legs, I’m sure, but… would this move be done from the floor, with the hands on the floor, like in a handstand? Or perhaps from a flag going all the way up into brass monkey?
I think perhaps we need a little more information.

[Runemist34]

This is actually an interesting problem for a lot of people!
In general, those of us with dry skin can remain very slippy when we start poling, or even when we’re warm, and by the time we start sweating, it’s never any better. It’s very frustrating!
However, the flip side to that is the moisturizer itself- your lotion may appear sticky when you apply it, and it may seem that way for quite a while on your skin, too. However, if you apply too close to the time that you pole, sometimes even the same day, you may be leaving residue on the pole, and you may also have slippy problems, because most moisturizers will do that.

The best advice is this- drink lots of water to make sure your skin is getting the kind of nurturing it needs, and apply any kind of moisturizers after pole dance, or on your off-days.
After 40 minutes of pole dancing, it’s natural to sweat quite a bit, and to get a little slippery. Taking a bit of time to towel off, clean the pole, and drink some water may be all you need to get back to it. Also, fans. I love fans for this, because sweat is meant to be evaporated by the wind, in order to cool you down. If your studio has the option, see if you can get some good air circulation or a fan on you, so that the sweat doesn’t bother you as much.

I tend to have dry skin, but I live in a very wet climate (BC, anyone? We’re having a rain storm right now!), so I had to learn which kind of pole finish was best for me, and also learn about applying my moisturizers, and drinking water, so that I don’t need to apply too much. If I’m poling, I don’t moisturize that day, or I’ll wait till after pole.