[Serzi]

I found something online stating that it does not “due to lack of interest from dancers”. Can anybody clue me in on what happened? I’ve heard a lot of mud-slinging on the PPP over the years, but can anybody tell me what actually went down? Either way, I guess I’m glad I missed the entire debacle. lol

[Serzi]

*sigh* The whole pointed toes thing.

Well, yeah, there’s numerous benefits to learning how to point your toes and if you do it right from the get-go it is easier to avoid the habit of flexed feet. HOWEVER, blah, there’s more important things than toes in my humble opinion. Sometimes I wish it wasn’t such a big deal in the pole world as I am the queen of flexed feet. lol

Anyway, as for gender specific or ettiquete regarding such in pole…nah. You do what you want to get whatever results you desire. Veenas’ lessons are a great way to learn on your own and the site itself is perfect for consulting others on just about anything.

The crucial part is what do YOU want to get out of pole? Just a way to get a stronger core (you will) and bust out some cool tricks or does your fascination extend beyond that? No matter what, the possibilities are practically limitless depending on your own determination. Don’t be shy, we’re all here to support each other.

[Serzi]

I do eat regularly, several times a day normal serving size meals. That’s not at all an issue. I’m usually fatigued, regardless of what I eat or how much or how little. My problem is periodic loss of any passion for food or desire to eat. It’s mechanical and I hate these phases.

I was, however, raised in a home where food was a constant issue and was hospitalized as a teen for an eating disorder. Still, I always had an appetite even if I was starving myself. I always wanted food, the thoughts of what I would eat if I allowed myself to never ceased. Now I eat merely for sustenance a lot of the time. It is a joyless, expensive, time-consuming chore to me a lot of the time during these weeks and months long phases where my appetite disappears.

I think maybe the suggestions of adrenal fatigue, my upbringing, and possibly too much dairy have played a role in this. I wonder why it seems to have increased in severity and frequency over the past decade. I used to always be up for some ice cream or popcorn no matter what, now it’s blah.

Thank you everyone for all of your responses, advice, and for sharing your own struggles. I am glad that this thread has brought back such a variety of different ideas and stories. 🙂

[Serzi]

Yay! I’m so happy to hear your instructor is going to coach you through this and give you the extra attention this clearly deserves. I am sure you are strong enough, but there are some moves which we all need more guidance and spotting to build confidence. And some moves just never feel as good as others, but hopefully the fear will subside. I know I have my own share of nemesis moves. You got this, girl!

[Serzi]

Thank you so much for sharing that, Stafana. I think you are right on with adrenal fatigue and, yes, I also come from a background similar to what you described. I love this site, so many creative and kind polers willing to help others. 🙂

[Serzi]

Thyroid was checked (expensive testing that was, whoa!) but it was mostly covered by the insurance I had at the time and good to know that mine appears to be normal.

I am sure whatever causes these phases is more of a psychosomatic response than I’d care to admit. It’s so random I can’t pinpoint the trigger for it, though, or why it seems to increase in severity.

Thank you again for always offering your perspective. I do appreciate your insight.

[Serzi]

Yes, Runemist, when my appetite returns I am able to enjoy what I eat. All the sensory appreciation suddenly arrives without any recognizable provocation and I’m like “Oh, there’s the ol’ food-boner. Okay, cool, I’m not turning into a vampire after all.”

I’m not a fan of doctors because they tend to just push whatever untested drug is the current flavor-of-the-month, charge me about $500 per visit, and call it a day without even listening.

[Serzi]

Thank you for your reply. It’s difficult to discuss with a lot of people because of the knee-jerk reaction as either “First world problems” or “Damn, I wish my appetite would go away”. It is exactly as you described; joyless. Even my usual favorite foods are a chore to eat and a guilt trip if I cannot finish or fake a smile.

I know…boo-hoo, but it is so strange. It’s limbo without the peppy backbends and marimba music. These phases come and go, wax and wane, and although I have my history with disorder this is almost…idk, the opposite. It’s not particularly distressing or anything, just irritating and abnormal. I know I’m supposed to want to eat without reminding myself to or having to drag myself away from activities because I know that I need to replenish.

This also isn’t a new phase, it’s a periodic phase that has increased in severity since my early mid-twenties. Where it used to happen once or twice a year for a short amount of time, it now lasts weeks or a month+. I sometimes joke that I’m so bored with being human that my body agrees with me. Not necessarily true, I have lots of other activities and parts of my life that I greatly enjoy. No appetite, though, and I have sluggish energy regardless of my diet or routine. I do hate that part of it because it effects my ability to conduct myself in the manner and capacity I am accustomed to.

[Serzi]

Really? No max weight? I have to study up on the lite more.

Well, congrats on your decision! X-Stages are the best free-standing poles I’ve tried and I’m sure you will love yours. 🙂

[Serzi]

You’re not the only one who’s uncomfortable. It takes a lot of time and work to push past that. The danger of serious injury is possible for anyone, even in less flashy moves. I biffed it big time in one of my “comfort moves” because I got too cocky. Just because it looks effortless to somebody else doesn’t mean they’re not scared or doing it 100% all the time. Use your introspective position to your advantage and you may save somebody’s neck, possibly your own. It’s a good thing you don’t force into it.

[Serzi]

I’ve often wondered about the lite myself, but the reviews are so mixed that I am hesitant to spend that kind of money again. I have a classic X-stage (which has served me well) but I would love to have full use of my floor and ceiling height. That is the one and only issue I have had with my X-Stage is limitation of space to maneuver comfortably.

I am a larger woman as well, but the X-Stage is rated at 200 lbs and I have managed to stay well enough under that. (Although I used to weigh over 200 lbs a long time ago, before I started dancing) Idk what the specs are on the lite, but I’d be impressed if it were rated higher.

These stage poles aren’t flimsy and I have even tried some doubles work w/ a friend. Still, when it comes to safety and feeling safe I don’t recommend pushing it too far too often w/ these poles. They have considerable sway and I was shocked by how thin the metal is when I had my b-pole cut to fit my ceiling height. While it will not bend, is very stable, sometimes the feeling as it sways is unnerving or at least makes me feel heavy and I don’t like that. Rest assured, though, it sways no matter who’s on it. I’ve had girlfriends that wear extra-small and size zero get that pole swaying just as much as I do. It’s just because it’s free-standing.

[Serzi]

It’s not a good feeling to sit out while others bust moves like it ain’t no thing. Still, your fear is telling you something. Maybe you shouldn’t exclude the possibility completely from the future, but instead have a different approach and outlook.

Maybe you need to break the moves down more, maybe there’s some key element missing from your at-home practice versus theirs, or maybe you just plain don’t like it and that’s okay. I would focus on getting the tricks I actually want and not allow the pressure of flips I admire (but could care less about) get me down. It’s surprisingly a great thing that we’re all different w/ a different style and skill-set. It doesn’t feel great, though, to be left out in a group session no matter what style or skill-set.

I don’t think you’re going to be left behind if you don’t like to cartwheel and flip, but I do hope your studio will listen to your concerns. Maybe they need someone like you to bring something new to the table or at least provide a challenge for them as instructors to help their student learn and be confident.

[Serzi]

This isn’t your first time doing a live pole performance, is it? (apologies if I lacked ability to absorb all info and you mentioned it already. Lonnnng day at work.) If it is your first, then I hope you have high endurance and a large catalog of moves. 15 minutes seems like a lifetime, 30 minutes is Hell, an hour is an eternitiy in Hell, and I’m pretty sure that anything beyond that transcends the seventh circle of Dante’s Inferno.

It’s different for everybody, especially if you have performed live before because you know what to expect. Still, I’ve never heard of anyone actually performing that length of time solid. Yes, take frequent breaks between songs. Slow-burn, chain-drag, take your sweet time from move to move. I don’t want to intoduce any new worries, so I will only say that you are a badass for even taking on this challenge. I tip my hat and clap my heels to you, madam. Try to have fun w/ whatever you choose to bring to the stage.

[Serzi]

One question…is it the gymnastics end of pole that made you fall in love w/ it in the first place? If so, one more question, why pole? I mean, if being a gymnast is necessary to achieve any satisfaction in pole then that is where you should start.

Not that anyone really cares about my opinion (unless they take offense to it, that is), but I don’t really like the gymnast style of pole. That’s okay, I appreciate it despite that. Most do not like my style of pole, and that’s also okay. I think there’s room for all styles of pole.

Other than that, if it’s got you down that you can’t satisfy yourself w/ your own style or abilities…well…no one else can make you feel better except you. You could have a thousand fans (Hell, I guarantee you already have more than I ever will), you could have a wall full of trophies, you could be told you’re awesome every single day. None of it makes a difference if you are dissatisfied w/ yourself. If you don’t love it, if it causes you nothing but pain, if the outcome can’t be done the way you require it to be then it isn’t worth doing.

Or…you could just be having a bad day and need to stop comparing. Remind yourself of how far you’ve come and why you started in the first place. Still, if there’s no love for it then you need to stop because it’s making you hate yourself. I don’t think you should quit, but maybe a refresh is in order. Sorry to hear you’re feeling so bad, we’re all our own worst critic at times. 🙁

[Serzi]

I live in Michigan. I would be interested in possibly attending.