Serzi
Forum Replies Created
-
Update: I don’t have a video yet (none that I’m satisfied with, anyway), but the full vinyl gloves work just fine for what I had envisioned. Just in case anybody else wondered whether or not it can be done, yes, it totally can but only on spin-mode.
-
Yeah, whatever.
I wish the very best to the original poster of this thread and hope I haven’t caused any undue stress on anyone w/ my own thoughts. Wow. Just too much.
-
I haven’t used your name, called you names, or said anything personally directed at you. Just medication.
But, you’re right, I’m a loose cannon.
-
And all I’m really saying is if a person decides medication is not right for them that it is OKAY. If it works for others, that’s great. Please don’t take into account the lives it saves while neglecting the lives it has taken.
-
I will belittle medication all I want in terms of depression. Actual proven physical mental disorders, however, I will hold my tongue.
I don’t have to bow to anyone else’s opinion, I have life experience and have lost loved ones to legal drug addiction. So, sorry if I hurt anyone’s feelings about their own personal approval of medication. Please don’t try to shame me just because my opinion (among other things) differs from yours. There is entirely too much praise and defense for unproven, ineffective, DANGEROUS drugs on the market. Oh yeah, and not enough support by human beings for other human beings.
But by all means, support Pfizer. I’m the one who’s making billions off of others misery.
-
PS The fact you even had a business, yes, that is HUGE. You have a major experience there, be proud of it regardless. Take from that experience, let it fuel future success.
-
Yeah, screw medication. Not even gonna get into my experiences with that bs, but if you feel it’s not right for you then people should probably respect that and not ask further.
You started a business and it failed? Well, it’s no surprise you would feel down about that, but the “eating away” at you is something that only happens to the unique individuals blessed with whatever it is that our minds have. (yes…sarcasm very thick right now.)
First thing, people have a tendency to treat depression in a manner similar to physical illness and that’s a huge problem. We all need alone-time to reflect but it often results in isolation and worsening mental health when you are depressed. Medicine? Only if you have actual proof there’s something physically wrong w/ my head, and WHAT exactly, and that this “medicine” has a detailed explanation of how it works/how it’s been tested/how it will help my specific unique special-snowflake condition that no one seems to know very much (or ENOUGH) about. Whatever it is I know that I can’t cough it into the face of a “mentally healthy” individual and make them ill, so I probably shouldn’t isolate myself or stay away from people…much as I would like to. And the medicine does nothing except zombify me so that I can’t feel ANYTHING or even function so…idk…it seems to be for the benefit of anyone who isn’t me.
You know what helps me occasionally? Sunshine, bubble baths, long talks w/ good company, days off from work, avoiding social media, going for walks, playing guitar, writing, ice cream, tea, puppies, kittens…anything to quiet the noise in my head that can only be the voice of my innermost fears and pain.
Talk therapy helps, but only if you don’t have trust issues. It took two years for my adolescent psychologist to earn my trust well enough for me to talk to him about anything important. Then I became an uninsured legal adult and couldn’t afford to see him anymore. So…*poof* there went that sanctuary.
I think the worst, the absolute worst, is the stigma and not being understood. People who don’t understand are often indifferent, cruel, or sometimes both. You find your people, though, usually briefly because we’re all dealing w/ too heavy of shit to deal w/ each other for excessive amounts of time. That, in itself, is painful to realize. So, eventually you learn to control the language of your inner-thoughts, fears, and possible self-loathing. You force assertiveness in social situations so the parasitic people leave you alone more often. You distract, identify, and then establish your boundaries with your emotions.
It’s never easy, it doesn’t go away, but it gets easier to live with once you take control of your thoughts and the language of your own emotion. That’s all you really can do.
Oh yeah, and all those people who may be talking shit or judging you? Not one of them is worth a damn, so put that boundary up even if it’s just by choosing to not react or respond to any bs even in your own mind.
-
I have a classic X-Stage and the only time it has ever made noises like that is when it was not installed properly. Check to make sure it’s locked into the bearing unit properly, maybe contact X-stage. They have an account right here on SV and are usually very prompt in their response.
-
You’re not the only one who has started off feeling this way. Progress (at least in my experience) did not really start to show until after about 3-4 months and that was after going at it for about 6-8 or more hours a day most of the week. I’ve lived an extremely sedentary life so this is the most athletic and determined I’ve been to reach any kind of fitness goals. It takes a lot of time and practice.
I don’t recommend overkill practices and I rarely have time to pole like I used to. Strangely I think I progress faster at a slower more introspective pace. I examine moves closer before I try them and break them down using methods I’ve learned here on SV, from other polers, and my own experience w/ what has helped in the past. If you can’t get something don’t stress about it, work on others, come back to it later.
Don’t forget to lose yourself in the moment from time to time and let the dance guide you into feeling good. You’ll get there, the beginning is the hardest because you feel weak. It’s temporary. W/ experience comes strength and grace, but those breathless moments where you can only lay on the floor are going to happen. They happen less as you go along, trust me. Keep going.
-
Best advice I’ve ever received came from the best guitarist I’ve ever met:
“Now…I gotta tell you…nobody just picks it up and rocks this shit. You’re gonna suck. You’re gonna suck for a lonnnnnnnng time. It’s okay. Everybody sucks. You will get better but that’s not the goal. When you enjoy playing no matter how you sound that’s how you connect w/ it. All of a sudden you notice you don’t suck anymore and you’re like ‘Okay, cool.’ Just keep playing.”
-
There’s not many times I’ve been able to say this, but I think I prefer my 30’s to my 20’s…at least when it comes to pole. Yeah, the knees pop more than my booty these days and I’m much more cautious when it comes to my back or wrists but…idk…I feel better than I used to.
In my 20’s I was so WORRIED about what I looked like all the time and it robbed me of a lot of my motivation. It’s funny because when I see my old videos it’s adorable how self-conscious I was. All I can think is “Damn! I would have landed that perfectly if I hadn’t been worried about jiggling thighs/muffin-top/you-name-the-unflattering-angle-nobody-cares-about.”
To be honest, my favorite polers are now all in their 30’s, 40’s, and even 50’s. They weren’t when I started…how the Hell did that happen? Oh yeah, and most of ’em are just as badass, sexy, and skilled as ever. In some cases, dare I say even more so? 😉
-
PS On that note, I’d like to add that I’ve always loved how I can participate on SV even when I can’t afford a paid membership. This site has been my sanctuary for about seven years now.
-
I quit fb awhile back. I started to get extremely depressed to the point where I felt physically ill and angry most of the time. What it was turned out to be was the constant ego-slinging bs I became a part of. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. It really brought out the worst in me and I can’t say I’ve missed it much.
There are a few people who I stay in touch w/ but, for the most part, I’ve realized fb is just one big ego stroke. I was tired of wasting my energy trying to make friends or be equal to people who only want FANS without offering any positive support in return. There are plenty of polers more worth my time (and $, I may add) who have influence without casting their shadow over others. The absolute worst is when you see everybody fighting to be the #1 fangirl, realize how stupid and pointless it all is, and then see how you tagged along just like the rest of them.
Screw that. Let’s pole!
-
I already voted chair, but I’ll make it official here.
Btw, THIS, right here.
I pretty much need these skills. 😉
-
Thank you for sharing this. I’ve been going through a troubling circumstance for quite awhile and this has helped alleviate some of the sickening despair of it all.
Although I’d rather not re-hash all of my own problems which pale in comparison, I must say, it is extremely important to not feel alone. For somebody to step up and say “This happened, this happens, it’s completely wrong and we suffer in silence because society refuses to support anyone victimized by it.” Well, thank you.
And to anybody else out there reading this, you are not alone.