Tyanna
Forum Replies Created
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Pankake, Thank you for the hugs!!https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_biggrin.gif You are right on, I was conflicted about this. Definatly conditioned to be a beast of burden. Also, it wasn't a lecture at all to me. Just another great way for me to see its okay to ask for help on thoughts!!
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Thank you ALL for your responses. Pankake, this question really rang in my head for days before I finally even posted it! As JhennD touched on, I grew up in a house with no physical contact or affection. It was hard to even have a friend litereally lean on me or run up for hugs when they hadn't seen me in awhile. I only figured it was due to not wanting to be touched from earlier molestations. Hugs and kisses just weren't expressed in my home.
As I have grown older, I did manage to recieve but it was always with a question. A way to get close and do something to me. I KNOW every one isn't out to hurt and I did manage to not think or believe EVERYONE is the same, thankfully. With that I had grown to be accustumed to standing back. It did help me to learn how to verbally express myself thouroughly. I learned to stand alone yet strong.
Despite the past I am a very affectionate person, if I am comfortable and have done my assessment. I guess the "want" is nagging and I tried to ignore it to be able to get other things done. This year has been big for me caring for and loving myself. Being a caregiver for SO long I had always put myself off far to the side or the backburner somewhere. So when I did start my self love, it was an "oh yeah" type moment. Learning to say No and give as much to myself,if not more, as I have done others. I guess you could say I tried to trick myself again…
I do love myslelf, I do love to be loved and very much invite it, again, if it is right. Its just something I cannot force myself to look past anymore as if it doesn't exist. As you wonderful ladies have reminded me. Whew, again thank you all so much for your input, I could only ask my self that question so much, but I am glad I put it out there for others opinions and thoughts….
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Thank you both, Polefairy21 & Debbierockz!
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I could imagine this would be like saying you see an unattended 20 dollar bill on the ground with the economic times and all….but maybe thats just me https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_smile.gif. I'm still a pole virgin about to go to my first weekend workshop class in 8 days and 55mins (YAAAYY!!!) so I could only offer an idea. What is something your passionate about, now or even as a little girl that you could act out? To me it could be comparable to halloween when you can be what ever you aren't on a regular day…I like cartoons, but thats not really sexy, but you get the point. Something simple could be extraordinary!!
