[PinkPhoenix]

Aww that is rough, but I think that if you are having a hard time getting out of your depression then you need to contact a professional to help you. Don’t go at this alone. A lot of people started businesses and then had to close the doors it is a hard pill to swallow, but I admire you on that. I would love to start a business and wished that I had the brass ones that you have to start it. I agree stay off social media. Stay away from that bull-pucky. Do you write in journals? Sometimes writing it down and just getting your feelings out can help. Around 2008 I had a bad break up and I was in depression mainly because I couldn’t believe that people (on his side blamed it all on me). I knew I wasn’t a bad person I did what I could in the relationship without having to do it all. N-E-who, A Spiritual Healer told me to right down all that bother’s me and when I’m done I could choose to rip it up and throw it away, I could bury it because those feelings and thoughts are now out and dead to me, or I could burn it in a sacred fire and blow the ashes to the wind and ask my Guides, Angels, Ancestors, and God to take it away because it no longer served my purpose. After I did that I realized. There was NOTHING wrong with me. I did what I could do and that was that. I was an amazing person and he was lucky to have me for the time that we were together. That was just a moment of depression. I also have a small amount of PTSD from being in the military, and I don’t take medication because I feel like I have a good handle on it, but one thing I know for sure is that I know that I can’t bring myself out of the darkness all by myself.

I had a coworker that had been battling depression pretty much all her life I mean she had a really screwed up life. Then she joined the Air Force and she had to be hypnotized to get through boot camp. I was like dang really?! She’s been on medication the majority of her life and it has been helpful. I have seen her when she is on her medication and it is explosive and lacks reason. Just over last year she had a family tragedy hit and she tried to fix her feelings etc herself and it was so overwhelming for her that she tried to take all of her medication. Thankfully her daughter found her in time and she got the help that she needed and yes she is someone that needs medication right now, but she is working on herself because she hopes that in the future that she won’t need to take it anymore. So be Blessed to you and Blessings to her. You’re not alone.

[PinkPhoenix]

Both my parents are very petite people, so when my sister and I hit puberty and didn’t stay petite like my parents it was really rough and yeah we got this really messed up view on our bodies instead of realizing that our bodies were fine. I was thicker than my sister, but it really came down to the fact that we weren’t active. Not our fault our parents were very lock and key, but all things considering we were in decent shape.Knowing that NOW. BACK THEN, we thought we were whales and it didn’t help that if we had 1 cookie my father would say, “You don’t need that you are already big as a house.” To defend my father he was not raised with girls there was a total of 7 children and ALL BOYS! So knowing how to be delicate with female feelings was foreign to him. So as soon as my sister got her first job we bought metabolife pills through the mail. My sister was 16 and I was 13, so we could have done some damage to ourselves. It wasn’t until my Junior year that I made Cheerleading and got active and the weight just melted off. Till this day I remember the look on my father’s face when not only he and boys my age noticed my toned physique, but his friends were hanging around the house more. Dropping by and what not.

Now I’m grown and I still have my body struggles especially since I stopped poling and gained all my weight back and then some. I’m 4’ll and I’m pushing 168, so if I express that it’s not because I’m being negative, it’s reality that I’m over weight, that’s not healthy. I’m not going to announce that to the world or fit it in a conversation unless you are my doctor or dietitian or my husband. I am at the heavies that I have ever been and no I don’t always feel sexy, but I do know that this is the only body that I’m going to have, so I have to treat it better. I learned from a manifesting councilor to say 3 things that I love about myself and it doesn’t always have to be physical. By doing that I don’t focus so much on the outside and I pay no mind to the negative things around me.

All I have to say is that for those that do have that struggle, it really does get better, you just have to be comfortable and happy at the size that you are at, at the moment. You can change it if you want, but be aware to the little people that may over hear you picking yourself apart because they may think that they have to do it too. Don’t weigh yourself every week do it like every 3 months other than that use how your clothes fit, how you feel in general, how’s your health that is a good indicator on what’s going on with your body. I have a friend that I had to put in her place because I made a Mediterranean chicken dish that was bacon wrapped and she said, “No Bacon, Bacon is bad for you; have you ever seen a skinny pig?” I let her know what was up real quick about wanting to criticize my food and what I make, when she’s not a hard body herself. She needed to keep that to herself Sometimes people are not aware of what they say and how it impacts others. I get the thigh comments because I do have larger thighs now and I can’t cross my legs anymore when I pole sit and I’m like dang really? I’m not down about it, but it is in the back of my mind; one of those things that makes me think, “I could a year ago what happened?” Some people are also just venting or just giving their honest perception on how they are feeling and if you overcame a milestone then share it with them if they don’t mind you over hearing their conversation. Sometimes your struggle can be someone’s inspiration.

RuPaul said it best, “If you don’t love yourself then Honey how is anyone else going to?”

[PinkPhoenix]

I would love an easy chair routine for fun

[PinkPhoenix]

I had to stop poling a year ago because I moved from an apt. to a house and I did it all by myself while my hubby was on deployment. I just started poling off and on again since about October November time frame. I gained so much weight! It’s the heaviest that I’ve ever been and I was so upset because I would have to start all over again.Not to mention in the year we want to add someone to the family and I just don’t want to be 4’11 and being 200lbs. let me tell you I got depressed. I only got on the scale 1 time just to see how much I gained and that was it. If you continue to look you will become obsessed on the numbers and it could turn into an unhealthy obsession. Instead I focused on my progress poling and how my clothes fit. Muscle weighs more than fat, so you always have to remind yourself of that. I would say that maybe you can add more cardio or may revamp what you are eating or something like that. Oh I remember one thing that really help take the weight off and let me see my hard earned progress was weight training.

[PinkPhoenix]

The good thing is that she is challenging you, but if you see something and you are like, “What, you want me to what?” Then you should kind of tell her, “Wait a minute I’m not ready for that yet.” and she should be able to take a step back and wait until you feel solid in your other tricks and ready for a new one. I just think that she is so excited to teach things that she might be on hyper-drive. If your not ready then say it, you don’t want to hurt yourself. Cause it’s a bummer going through withdrawals as you stair at your pole and you know that you can’t touch it.

[PinkPhoenix]

I agree with Veena and if by chance internet is slow or on the fritz get some dvds.

[PinkPhoenix]

Do the 30-day start off. Prepare your body for what you will be asking it to do. I was military where they really press good form and being fit and let me just say when I started pole it really kicked my muscle’s butt. I mean I had no idea. Just because you consider yourself fit, doesn’t mean that your body can do everything. I have been poling for 3 years and I had to take a break last year because I moved from an apartment to a house and I just didn’t have the money to go and my pole wasn’t up yet and now that I’m doing it again. I’m pretty much back to beginner all over again, so I am starting from ground zero. I finished the 30 day last month and it was a great refresher. I think if by chance you might get a little board with something like lunges turn it into a combo a some light weights. Do extra fundamentals and tricks along with the 30 day. I was taught that pole will never get easy. If you think it’s getting boring or mundane, guess what? it’s time to find the more advance way of doing it, or it’s time to learn a new trick. =)

[PinkPhoenix]

Well is it normal yes (as long as they keep it in their mind). Is it right? Not really especially if he is really obvious about it and if he is doing it out in public or mixed company. I would maybe seek some counseling and find out what the issue is. Just as a fly on the wall I would say give him up. He’s not going to change and there are too many men out there that will find you beautiful and will only desire you. You did what you had to and it still didn’t work, so “Bye Dude.” You need to find that strength that all of us know you have and walk on, don’t look back. Even if he begs and pleads with you that he’ll change and that he loves you. That’s just to keep you there. Mean while he’ll continue.

[PinkPhoenix]

It depends on your budget. I had a pink lil Minx it was fine, but I am saving for an XPole because it’s the best.

[PinkPhoenix]

Oh Lord another thing to get me in trouble! Well I would wait and see what they offer.

[PinkPhoenix]

RoMo, I heard that you can download her dvd’s from her site AletheaAustin.com, but I haven’t tried it, but you can check it out. I just bought the dvds and you can get those from so many venders

[PinkPhoenix]

I have all of them and I love them. Anytime I want to connect a little more sensually I pop her dvds in.

[PinkPhoenix]

I have thigh high boots that I bought waaaaay long time ago (Zip ups not lace ups) and I have big thighs too, so what I do is I take my hair dryer and I put it on medium heat and I heat the material a little before I put them on right at the area where my thighs are , then I put them on and start to zip them up. If I need it a little warmer I just turn on the blow dryer and continue to heat, so it loosens the material a little and i squat and bend while I do it. I would put the hair dryer any where where it’s tight. Just don’t use high heat I did that once and it really scorched my skin. Not injury scorch, but Man did I feel the heat. Maybe try not to lace them so tight or so high, maybe try to gradually get further up the leg, so the material has time to stretch and mold to your legs.

[PinkPhoenix]

Since you are feeling some discomfort I would rest for a week or so. That’s how I hurt my shoulder. I thought that maybe if I babied it while I still trained that it would be ok. Yeah not really. I had to go to physical therapy and I was out of pole for like 2 months. So maybe if you rest your hip now, maybe your hip won’t hurt.

[PinkPhoenix]

At my studio they have flex class after a pole class because usually we stay after that class and we’re already warm, so we just warm up a little more and we get to it. I once did a flexibility work shop and then later had a regular pole class and I never experienced any pains or issues. i think that it kind of varies on the person and maybe what your doing when you are poling. I guess maybe you wouldn’t want to do like a “power trick” class after a flexi class, but I think a regular choreo pole class would be fine.