catmoves2718
Forum Replies Created
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Firebird: Perhaps those sorts of comparisons make you uncomfortable because there is an implication that one is better than the other. Just a thought.
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In my case, it was definitely learned. When I started pole I felt like dancing hippos had me majorly out-classed. For me, it was “just” a matter of lots and lots of practice and slowing down. I figured I’d never be graceful, so I just focused on enjoying the movement, and feeling good in my body. Also, it sounds weird, but at least for me, strength plays a huge role in gracefulness–the stronger I got, the smoother (and often slower) my movements became. I still don’t think of myself as being super-graceful, but I’m way better than when I started. And on the way, I had a lot of fun and got to know lots of awesome women!
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Welcome, Nina! This site is a great resource, both for lessons and community support. I absolutely recommend the lessons. They have kept me going even though I currently don’t have anywhere to take classes. I hope you enjoy it here. Best of luck with your new pole!
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Thank you, Angie La! worked! I’d never thought to use it that way. Thanks again!
Note to anyone else trying this, I started with the “medium” formula, but found it worked a little too well, so I tried the “light” and that worked like a charm.
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Hi Runemist!
Those are great suggestions. I should have mentioned in my original question, normally I just work on spin pole or things where the extra grip is helpful too. But, right now I am working on an instructor training program where I have to submit videos of myself teaching different moves, including a lot of beginner and intermediate level spins. Trying to show the proper points of contact and still actually get my body to move around the pole is either painful or nearly impossible. I’m hoping against hope there is some trick I don’t know about. I may just contact them and ask if I can show myself teaching some of the spins with the pole on spin mode.As a complete side note, recently I was in Florida, and was told by the instructor at the studio I visited that they do spin pole all the time. I wonder if this is why.
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I’ve seen that on t-shirts, and I find it funny too, but given all the stereotypes about military wives, I’m not surprised by the harsh comments. I started pole when my husband was on his first deployment, and while he was proud of me and would tell people he knew about it, it wasn’t the sort of thing we announced. As a personal decision, I don’t think either of us would have put it on a car that he drove on to base. Also, honestly, I would have worried about it being held/used against him either at promotion time or just because someone felt like being an a-hole–but my husband was in the MC, where I think on average they get f-ed with more about every little thing.
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It sounds like your brother has expressed why he is unhappy. And from what you’ve said, I think a little compassion might be in order–he’s going through some difficult stuff. Changing schools at that age is difficult. If sports were important to him, and he can’t do them right now, he is understandably frustrated. If you suddenly had to have surgery and couldn’t do pole, how would you feel? (I’m facing this prospect right now, and personally, I found it really frustrating, discouraging, and even a little scary.) Additionally, if he prided himself on achievement, and thought of himself as smart, then being in an environment that is really challenging for the first time is going difficult for him work-wise, but could also be hard on his self-image. This is actually a not uncommon phenomenon among bright young people, it often happens when they hit college. Going through all of this at the same time is a lot for anyone to deal with, especially a 15 year old.
I’m not recommending that you feel sorry for him, but it might not hurt to acknowledge that he is dealing with some difficult situations. This does not make him weak, it makes him a human being under stress. There isn’t much that can be done to change the surgery and the break from sports, but you may be able to help him look into the future when he will be able to play again, and plan for that. If there are things he can do to help himself heal faster, then finding out about those, and helping him do them if you can may make him feel better.
With regard to school, he may be having to learn to really apply himself and study for the first time. I don’t think there is anything wrong with acknowledging that this is a challenge, and that he is going to have to learn new skills. Encourage him to rise to the challenge, let him know that you think he can do it. If there are opportunities for him to learn new study skills, or catch up on material he didn’t learn at his old school, then encourage him to take them. Maybe even help him seek out those opportunities.
It might not be anyone’s first choice, but if it comes down to it, going back to his old school might not be the worst thing that could happen. He may learn more in an “easy” school if he is engaged, than in a more rigorous school where he is not engaged. But before he does that, it is probably worth him trying to rise to the challenge.
Anecdotally, some friends of mine went through something similar when they were able to move their daughter from her public HS to a private school. She struggled to adjust on a lot of levels, especially academically. She was behind a lot of her peers who had been in private schools longer, often from kindergarten, and it was difficult for her to fill in all the gaps. They really tried to help and encourage her, but she continued to have a hard time keeping up which made her feel bad about herself and made her really dislike school. Ultimately, she went back to her public HS where she was happier. They don’t look at this as her having failed at the more challenging school, but as having learned something about herself. She was happy back at her old HS, and happily went on to a state college a few years later.
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The gateway theory of drug use has been discredited. While there is some evidence for some biological priming in rodents, those effects also exist for alcohol and nicotine. Probably more to the point, the vast majority of people who try marijuana, even at a young age, do not go on to use harder drugs or experience other major life problems. (For example, see http://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/marijuana/marijuana-gateway-drug . Also note that NIDA is a lot more supportive of the gateway theory than many scientists working in this area.) I’m not saying it’s something you want him doing, but it’s not the beginning-of-the-end some people would have you believe.
It sounds like in your brother’s case smoking pot is only part of a broader change in patterns of behavior. Those changes might be due to something other than pot, for example, you mention not liking his current school environment. If you haven’t already you or your parents may want to try talking to him about what is going on and about his options for next school year. You or your parents may also want to consider finding another trusted adult that he can talk to, a professional counselor might be a good choice, but a doctor, clergy member, or even a trusted family friend that your brother likes may be good options. Try to get him to open up about what is going on with him, and to talk about what he wants (even if he ultimately doesn’t get what he wants), rather than having people talk to him about “his problems.”
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Also, it’s worth noting that if you’re estimating the amount of food you are eating, rather than measuring it, preferably by weight, you may be eating more than you think you are. If you have a food scale, weighing your food is the most accurate way of monitoring serving sizes, if not, measuring cups, etc. will do.
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If you’re not getting enough calories the solution is to eat more. If you aren’t feeling particularly hungry, then rather than eating more by volume you can be sure to include high calorie vegan foods in your diet. A few common choices are: nuts and nut butters, seeds and seed butters, avocado, dried fruit, and hummus. More moderate calorie foods you can increase your consumption of: fruit, beans, tofu, tempeh. Smoothies can also be an easy way to increase calories, you can get a lot of food into a small-ish glass. You can also be a little more liberal with things like olive oil on salads.
As a side note, I’ve never thought of Gardein products as being particularly low calorie, although that might just be because I have no idea what how many calories are in various types of meat.
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There is also PoleMoves http://www.polemovestrainings.com/ they are based in Los Angeles, CA, but they have trainings elsewhere, including internationally. They also have a web-based distance training program.
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I’m glad to hear you’ve found our support comforting, Shadow. You are most definitely not alone. Most likely, you’re not alone in your community either, other people are likely dealing with the same problems, even if they don’t talk about it.
Research does suggest that our thoughts and everyday activities can change our brain structure and chemistry, just as, for example, some people can learn to bring their blood pressure under conscious control. There is also evidence that certain experiences, particularly early in life, can have a long-lasting impact on the chemistry and structure of the brain. But none of this information is a substitute for care by medical and/or mental health professionals.
Depression as an illness and its treatment can vary a lot from person to person. There are people who, with the help of qualified mental health professionals, are able to treat and/or learn to cope with their depression without medication. There are other people who are prescribed medication because their doctor thinks that medication is in their best interest at that time. Some people are fortunate enough to have a single bout of relatively short-lived depression in their life. For others, myself included, depression seem to be a chronic illness that must be managed through a variety of strategies. Still other people fall somewhere in between.
I think the best advice we can give someone is to work closely with their doctor and/or other mental health professionals, and follow the advice of these professional. If they don’t feel they can work with a particular doctor or other professional, then they should continue to see that professional while they find someone they feel they can work with. Beyond that, I think we can reasonably share what as helped us, so that others may be able to discuss these strategies with the provider of their mental health care and possibly try them along with the treatment advised by professionals.
From the thread above, clearly many of us find exercise to be a valuable tool in managing depressive symptoms, and there is research that supports the general effectiveness of exercise in improving mood. Other strategies that help me, personally, include:
– Getting plenty of natural light. Exercising outside is great for this, opening blinds can also help. When I lived further north and days were short during the winter, I found a bright light (prescribed by my doctor) and full spectrum light bulbs helped.
– Getting enough rest. Depression both makes me tired and causes insomnia, but I’ve also found not allowing myself to get enough rest tends to make my symptoms worse, so I make a real effort to consistently get sufficient sleep.
– Making sure I don’t eat too much sugar. Some is fine, but I don’t need to be living on Skittles. I tend to crave sugar when I’m depressed, but I’ve also noticed eating a lot of sugar (and other junk more generally) over a period of days or weeks seems to make my mood worse. Generally, the healthier my diet, the better my mood tends to be.
– Making sure I take at least some time for me every day. This might be just sitting quietly, chilling with my cats, or listening to music, but it can also be dancing or doing some other exercise. For me what is important is that it be something I enjoy, that I do on my own.
– Helping others can sometimes also help me to feel better about myself. Volunteering with some sort of organization can be good, but something less structured also works.
– Keeping in close, preferably face-to-face contact with supportive others. This isn’t always easy, especially when I’m depressed, but it does tend to help.
These are some of the things that help me, personally, in addition to the treatment recommended by my doctor. Other people may or may not find them useful.
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I don’t have any advice to offer that hasn’t already been offered. I just wanted to say you’re far from the only one who has dealt with depression. It has been something I’ve dealt with since I was a child. Hopefully for you it will be something you can put behind you.
As others have said, don’t feel like you have to justify the reason for your depression to anyone else, or even to yourself, just because your life isn’t “that bad” doesn’t change the pain you’re feeling.
Medication can help, and you should absolutely not be ashamed of taking it. Nor should it make you feel like a walking zombie as someone above said–if it does, tell your doctor so they can make changes or adjustments as necessary.
Finally, as others have said, exercise can be a huge help.
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Protein does not have to be a problem, but most people need to eat some protein rich foods in order to obtain what nutritional professionals consider sufficient amounts of protein. This is completely possible on a vegan diet. But, if someone tries to go vegan by removing meat, dairy, and eggs, and does not increase consumption of protein rich plant foods like beans, nuts, tofu, tempeh, seitan, etc., then most likely they will not obtain optimum levels of protein and they may not feel well. It’s not difficult to obtain sufficient amounts of protein on a vegan diet, if you’ve been vegan for a while, you might not even give it much thought, but for new vegans, it may take a little adjustment.
How frequently one eats is determined by personal preference, activity level, the types of foods consumed, etc., but not by type of diet. Some vegans eat many small meals. Some vegans prefer the western “standard” of 3 meals a day. Other vegans eat on a whole range of schedules.
I highly recommend the book Vegan For Life for information on vegan nutrition. It was written by two vegan registered dieticians and provides excellent research based information on nutrition for vegans. There is good general information, as well as specialty chapters on topics like vegan nutrition for children, seniors, and athletes. It also includes a few sample meal plans. Even if you’ve been vegan for a while, it has a lot of good information, including relatively recent research.
I really like Post Punk Kitchen, but while some of the recipes are healthy and easy, many of them are either more involved or not necessarily things you want to eat on an daily basis. Isa Chandra Moskowitz, the author of Post Punk Kitchen, did write a book called Appetite for Reduction, which has a lot of fast, relatively healthy vegan dishes. She wrote it after she wrote Vegan Cookies Invade Your Cookie Jar, and Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World–you might understand why.
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I have multiple cats, and none of them have ever tried to scratch my pole. It might be the only surface the house they haven’t tried to scratch. As someone pointed out earlier, even if your cat tried to scratch the pole, it’s claws simply aren’t hard enough to do any damage.
My main problem with cats and pole is the cats getting under foot, attacking my hair, etc. when I’m on the pole. I have to lock them out of the room to use it. I didn’t have this problem when I had a senior cat, but now I have a bunch of hyper youngsters.