[eebee]

Sorry about your fall, hope you get better soon. I too have fallen out of a hold on the pole during a live performance. I was over 12ft in the air when it happened. It helps to know what you did wrong, so it never happens again.

For me, I do the same tricks soo many times over that I literally zoned out on the pole during a “familiar” transition move and wasn’t securely transitioned before I released my hold from the other move. I came crashing down and fast, but before I fell on the top of my head I threw my arms down in sort of a handstand. Thankfully, I wasn’t injured, just sore and shook up. I immediately got back on the pole, but avoided the pole trick combo and that transition move like the plaque until I could access what actually happened.

I, of course, do that transition move now, but to prevent myself from zoning out like I did before and becoming too comfortable in “familiar” pole transitions I have added in an additional step in every transition move that I do that forces me to pause and re-focus my attention so that I do not mistakenly release my grip on whatever pole move I’m in before I’m securely in another hold. This doesn’t alleviate other mistakes from happening, but I feel more confident knowing that I am a safer pole dancer because of it. Hope this helps…

[eebee]

I have long gel nails and don't find it difficult to pole with them on. Keep in mind, I've been poling for awhile. I have, however, broken a nail and chipped a nail pole dancing before, but it's so rare and it's usually when I'm well overdue for a fill or when I have a nail that is thinner on the sides or on the tip. When I go in for fills, I have my nail tech fill the whole nail, not just at the top. This helps to minimize breakage, but when it does happen its probably from my floorwork or dismounts from the pole to the floor. Hope this helps.

[eebee]

There is hope, but even if your mom never gets her act together; it's still not your problem. Think about it like this, would you let a stranger take advantage of you like this? Would you let a friend you just met put you in a financial bind because they claimed to be in financial straits? It's not like she's disabled, blind, or hospitalized. No, she's trifling, irresponsible, unproductive, and an overall "hot mess." It's hard to hear and it's hard for me to say these things about my family, but it's true.

When I stood firm and stopped being one of the many financial saviors for my mom and dad there was a strong backlash against me from them, from the other members in my family, their friends, and the people at church and in the community. How dare I? Who do you think you are? How could you? Oh, it doesn't get easier from here. It gets worse before it ever gets better. I had been providing for them for so long that they didn't know how to provide for themselves or just were to plain lazy to try. I had created little monsters and didn't even know it. I thought I was helping.

Now that I've made this decision and stuck to it (at least with my mom and dad), I'm a lot happier now. My family doesn't resent me. They understand and have apologized to me for this burden. Everyone has come around and I'm a stronger person because of it. I can say "I love you" and mean it and I keep an open communication with them, no problem, but it wasn't overnight.

The only way your mom will get better is if she wants to and many people have to hit rock bottom before they realize that. When you bail her out of these situations, you're enabling her to continue this cycle of dysfunction. It's like giving drugs to an addict. Trust me, I've been there and have talked to a therapist and even a psychiatrist about this. It's time for some tough love.

[eebee]

You are an awesome daughter and your mother is truly blessed. https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_smile.gif So, you shouldn't feel guilty about cutting your mom off financially. Your help is a temporary fix. It's like a drug. You are actually not really helping her. You are enabling her to continue to be dependent on you.

I know where you are coming from because the same things have happened to me with my mom, dad, and sister, lol. I am in debt now because of all of the money I've given to each of them. This has been going on for years. They never pay you back, in fact, each of them have this attitude like they are entitled to my money because we're family. https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_eek.gif

I cut my mom and dad off, thankfully, but still help my sister, because she's a single mom https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_sad.gif (boo hoo). It's debilitating, exhausting, and it weakens your spirit. They're like leeches seriously. From experience please do yourself a favor and stop giving her money. Practice saying the word "NO" in the mirror and get use to it. You will need to say it to her about a zillion times before she actually believes it, although she may never, but don't give in. Her problems are not your problems. Be strong, tell her you don't have any money, sorry…

[eebee]

Overall, I thought you did a great job! I love that you packed the routine with tons of tricks. The routine flowed alot better towards the end with the music and your transitions. I do, however, feel that the routine was lifeless at times and didn't showcase any personality or evoke a feeling. Some of your transitions seemed a bit choppy. I would have liked to see them flow together more and see you feel through the music better. Take time to smile and have fun. You looked a bit robotic at times, almost in a trance. Your routine seemed more like a practice session than a performance, where you're more focused on hitting every trick.

Just work on the performance aspect of your routine. I've seen tons of videos of polers with alot less talent, but they were more enjoyable to watch and memorable because of the level of their presentation. It can be grace, fluidity, style, expression, your love of poling shining through, or anything. I hope this helps.