flyingchiro
Forum Replies Created
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To me, this whole stripper-hating is another variety of slut shaming. A way of saying that woman should feel embarrassed and crude if they feel, act or behave in a sexual/sensual way. And the women who support the pole dancer/stripper feud are colluding in their own oppression.
Some people strip for a living.
Some people do other kinds of dance for a living. -
That’s terrific, Veena. Thanks!
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Congratulations ! I’m so glad to have you as a resource! Thanks for all you do
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This brings up something that I have been thinking about a lot lately about the sexy part of pole.
In a way, this art is oriented towards performance – we do it because it is exciting to be the object of desire. In a way, it goes with the dominant paradigm. The culture objectifies women. We have internalized this message. Do we look hot? The clothes, the heels. I jokingly say that these are cultural rites passed down to us by our stripper ancestors.
There is a way that we dance that is oriented toward our own expression of our sexuality. Do we feel strong, sexy, sensual? Are we in the flow?
For me, I am after the second one. If I am too aware of the male gaze aspect, I am too uptight (and self-critical) to be involved in what I feel and get stuck and self-conscious and inhibited.
I am trying to identify which moves I find beautiful, and which feel like the “formula” for sexy dance but are inauthentic to myself. For example, crawling doesn’t work for me, but hip circles really do.
I am also a beginner, so I am working it out as I write. But I am thinking that you might want to wait to dance for this man, until you can feel your authentic and internal sense of beauty and your very own brand of sexy.
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To me it’s like this: Pole dancing is an athletic activity (think gymnastics in the Olympics? of course). Pole dancing is a movement art (think ballet in the Olympics?, perhaps? maybe? someday?). Pole dancing is an expressive art (painting in the Olympics? creative writing?, don’t think so). Is the focus on shoes, clothing, sexuality a way of trying to tease these three things apart? Is this focus on the Olympics something we really want to move towards?
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Thanks, Cazzz! I’m workin’ this shit!
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I am 59, and just started poling a few months ago. It is easy to look at the 20 and 30 somethings in the studio and on YouTube videos and feel unhappy or self-conscious at the comparison. Truly, there are irrefutable differences in tautness of skin and distribution of fat over the decades, especially after kids, weight gain/loss, etc.
Also, there is the fact that pole has a sexy – as well as a fitness – component. And we are in a society that writes the equation sexy = young.
So for me, here are my solutions:
1. Compare my progress only to myself. Not to other beginners. Not to the young, or fit or dancers.
2. Be content to change slowly and know that I expect to be doing this for a long time. I hope at least 10 or 20 more years!
3. To be aware that I will improve on somethings quicker than others. I already see huge improvements in upper body strength, mild to moderate improvements in flexibility. And not quite yet in the sexy dance moves 😉 and that’s OK.
4. Biggest of all: to be committed to fight the oppression of agism. I’m unwilling to not do this because I am too old. I am unwilling not to feel free and playful and sexy while I am doing it.
5. I frequently remind myself that this is going to change the quality and quantity of our lives. Because we are creating new brain and neural circuitry. Because we are slowing the development of osteoporosis by strengthening. Because we are reducing the chances of falling by improving balance (….if we don’t fall off the pole 😉 ). We are having great fun, and we are pioneers in changing how our generation ages!So, go us! We rock. No one can tell us otherwise.
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Welcome to our beautiful area! So glad you are here! If you are ever teaching, please let me know. I’d love to meet you and take some lessons. I am loving your on line pole info and the sweet, supportive community you are nurturing!
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Veena, are you in SF now? Are you teaching here?!!!!?
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you guys crack me up!
Love the leap up the pole -
“as a feminist, pro-woman art.”
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She is talented and looks beautiful. I think of pole dancing is a feminist, pro-women art. This mom is celebrating her true-self as a woman, and not the narrow, societal definition of who we should be. If sensuality/sexuality is part of us, why should it be hidden, shameful
and scandalous? -
Sarah Ann, my studio has stainless poles. I was hoping that I would do better on my home pole if it were made from a different material.
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Also,someone in my area is selling a pole dance safety mat. I will be in a carpeted room. Is the mat a good idea?
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Thanks, I think I will go for it. It’s a great deal, and I can always resell it.