[DeaconJungleCatPoles]

I feel like if 'pole sports' is to have some credibility to it then there needs to be rules.  'Pole Sports' are different from 'Pole Dancing'.  Strictly regarding the Olympics, there is a time and place for everything. The Olympics is not the place to show overt sex appeal.  Not necessarily every pole event wants sexy dancing while there are other pole events that only want sexy dancing.  It is up to the organizer of the event to make the rules to gear it to a specific audience.  If you don't like it nobody is putting a gun to your head telling you that you that overt sexuality is prohibited.  If you don't like it choose a different event or create your own event. 

If you want to have FUN go to pole class and seek out showcases that are of similar taste to how you wish to perform.  When you get up to professional competition level its not about FUN.  It's about an agenda.  You are trying to make some kind of professional advancement.  Not saying that competitions aren't fun too because they are, but you are knowingly and willingly entering specifically to be judged by a certain criteria. 

[DeaconJungleCatPoles]

Foreplay is a tricky subject.  Imma let you in on a little secret…the majority of us men are actually EXTREMELY good at foreplay but we don't like to show it.  Why you ask?

Few reasons:

1)  It can be very time consuming.

2)  Foreplay is about men being unselfish in their pleasing of women and not every dude feels like every chick is worth taking the time to please.  Some are too lazy to learn a women's dislikes and likes, what turns her on, and off, etc.  Too much for the self centered.

3)  If the foreplay is good, it can set a precedent that foreplay should be included in EVERY encounter and if it's not then somebody feels let down if it's not done or cut short. 

So a lot of us PRETEND at being bad at it just so we can get out of doing it.  Don't expect to get hours long head every single night but don't cut brother man no slack either!  Make em work for it!! 😛

[DeaconJungleCatPoles]

There are a lot of different things going on in this one post.  Here's my evaluation from a male's point of view:

1)  Being sore and tired from poling is a real and chronic issue and it needs to formally addressed!!  A part of me absolutely loves pole while another part of me dreads waking up stiff and sore every single day.  It is actually to the point where it is debilitating for me.  My last relationship was a spur of the moment union.  It came out of no where, happened quick, and was over just as quick, but during that time I realized something that actually kind of terrified me.  I realized doing that whole 5-6 month stint, I was ALWAYS so sore and tired that I NEVER initiated ANY kind of intimacy at all!!  I wanted to in my head but the thought of physically acting on my impulse just became unbearable!  And I also realized how many times I ended up changing plans with people at the last minute because I always feel too bad to go out places.  I always upset ALOT of friends cuz they want me to come out places and I just don't have the energy and strength get on public transportation when my body feels like crap.  It's really hard to explain that to ppl as well.  They just think you're being overly dramatic and blowing them off when it's totally not the case.  (I actually don't even have a good remedy to solve this one cuz all I do is pop pain killers like Skittles and I still always feel sore and physically drained).

2)  I think what happens to a lot of us is that our partner's ego is really broken down when they realize that our pole dancing is for US primarily and not necessarily for them, especially if pole fitness is started after the relationship began. This along with any other resentment causes the next issue, anger and disrespect.  Us men really aren't encouraged to be respectful of women.  We're actually pushed to do the opposite really and it's sad, but men definitely know what subject to use to push women's buttons when they want to make themselves feel more superior by belittling a woman.  It's subtle and we always use the excuse, "It was just a joke" but trust me, WE know exactly what we are doing.  Vice versa, it goes both ways.  My ex definitely took jabs at me about my dancing and being around girls in class and such.  Specially when we confide in them about how much of a soft spot it is for us being stereotyped because of what we do.  Anytime anybody is in their feelings their gonna use whatever ammunition we give them to use against us because they know we are sensitive by it.  I've also been a victim of the line, "You're always sore and tired!" Which really is the truth actually.

3) 

What this situation appears to be is just like most situations, a failure to communicate.  A disrespect partner is a problem in and of itself that would have arisen eventually in one form or another.  It's just that this time your pole dancing was the vehicle.  As for someone feeling rejected, part of it is their own ego getting the better of them.  Instead of it just being about you being tired and sore at that moment, it becomes an insecurity issue for them.

My only advice is if you truly want this relationship to work then you should both have an honest open discussion about your feelings and what you are both willing to sacrifice.  Validate and listen to each others wants and needs and make it clear what you will both be bringing to the table to make it work.  It's not about you or him but it's about both of you.  If you want to keep him interested make sure you set aside special time for him.  Make special date nights.  He can ask you but make sure you take initiative sometimes too.  Contrary to popular belief men like to be made to felt special too.  Likewise though, he needs to understand that you just aren't some piece of meat to order around whenever he gets horny.  He has a responsibility to keep you interested as well.  He might have bought the cow but the milk doesn't have to be free!

It's time to be honest with yourself because the fact of the matter is if you REALLY want to spend time with someone you will sacrifice and do whatever it takes to make time for them, damn all the excuses.  I've fully accepted this which is why I plan to stay single for a long long time.  I have a lot going on right now.  Working multiple jobs trying to make ends meet, teaching and training in pole while trying to juggle a relationship (that I really wasn't even seeking out to be honest) just proved to be too much of a strain.  It might be selfish on my part or it might not be depending on how you look at it but at least laying all your cards out on the table will help both of you make more informed decisions.

I hope everything works out for you and I wish you all the best.

 

[DeaconJungleCatPoles]

Librarian!!

[DeaconJungleCatPoles]

The first CD I ever bought was Aaliyah – Age Ain't Nothing But A Number!!  Yikes!!!! LOL

[DeaconJungleCatPoles]

Those poles on the music video look kinda neat but I doubt anybody could really dance on em https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_lol.gif

[DeaconJungleCatPoles]

*blushing*

Yall are too sweet!!! Thank you all for your kind words! Love you chem https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_queen.gif , luvlee *big bear hug*, hope you can make it polergirl!

Hope to meet as many of you Ohio Veeners as we can!!!! https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_thumleft.gif

Please all come out to the jam too!!!!

Jungle Cat https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_cat.gif

[DeaconJungleCatPoles]

Thanks a lot my lovelies!!

Yeah I didn’t know they added some video to it until someone showed me today. How neat! hehe

Az, tell Mr Shouldermount to post some vids on YouTube!! That’ll get some attention https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_lol.gif

[DeaconJungleCatPoles]

Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Woot woot!!! Bout time girlie!!! https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_lol.gif

[DeaconJungleCatPoles]

Awww thank you so much all for the wonderful birthday well wishes! I wish I could marry all of you!!! https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_cheers.gif I’m the luckiest cat in the world!!! https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_sunny.gif Love you all!!!! https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_cat.gif

[DeaconJungleCatPoles]

To me it is all Pole ART and I just don’t waste time analyzing all the different styles and techniques. I just appreciate them all in different ways. I love the diversity of the pole community.

[DeaconJungleCatPoles]

Simply put: they way you treat pole dancing is the way your kids will learn to treat pole dancing. If you hide it and sneak around like it’s dirty then that’s what they will grow up to believe. Everyone brings their kids over to play on my pole. They don’t dance on it dirty or sexy. They don’t even know how to think of it as that. Only adult minds make those kinds of associations. They just see it as an indoor playground. And everytime my neices and nephews come over, I teach them tricks.

Check this video out of us from last summer! It’s a riot!! https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_lol.gif

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Ul3BoawK04

https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_cat.gif

[DeaconJungleCatPoles]

Just lettin yall know I peaked! https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_surprised.gif I saw Ladies Only and couldn’t help myself https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_lol.gif But this kind of talk doesn’t even phase me. Women are always pretty open around me and I hear these kinds of conversations all the time https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_biggrin.gif

https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_cat.gif

[DeaconJungleCatPoles]

From a male perspective:

I think women often tend to read too much into why their significant others aren’t as enthused about pole dancing as they are. Unless you are dressing up specifically for your man and planning some special evening involving whip cream and strawberries that will end in making him feel like he is king of the world, pole dancing is just exercise and fun for YOU. You wouldn’t sit and stare at your mate lift weights and run on a treadmill every single day so why would you expect him to do that to you? How excited would you be if one day your husband/bf said, "Today I bench pressed 200lbs!", then the next week he says, "Today I bench pressed 205lbs!", then the next week he says, "Today I bench pressed 210lbs!" You would say, "Good for you honey" and move on. You wouldn’t throw a party. Eventually, you would stop caring how many pounds your signif benches. Not that you would resent it, be jealous, harsh, or stop caring about your signif other. Deep down you are happy that your loved one is happy and successful in the hobby and endeavor they are pursuing but the actual details about that endeavor become trivial after a while. Just because you don’t care to know how many lbs they can lift or don’t want to stare at them the whole time they are exercising, doesn’t mean you don’t still love them. Especially if you live together and see them working out all the time.

I just think sometimes our ego causes us to tend to read too much into things and over analyze situations when we don’t really need to.

That is why we have a loving pole family to encourage and support us. We always get exciting when we see others learning moves for the first time because we all relate to each other. We all have the same struggles. We shouldn’t expect non-poling people to relate to us the same way we do to each other. They don’t know our struggles and don’t understand the issues we have. We need to stop caring so much about what other people think about our hobbies and just enjoy spinning and climbing to our fullest potential.

Just remember to occasionally dress up and do a special performance for your special person in your life to show that you love them and are thinking of them. https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_thumleft.gif

J.C. https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_cat.gif

[DeaconJungleCatPoles]

Great job guys!!! https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_cheers.gif

Awww thank you my Queen! https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_queen.gif