kulotsalot
Forum Replies Created
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I fell today, too, from an extended butterfly attempt. I have been trying this move for like 6 months, never felt secure on the studio pole (40mm stainless steel) but can do it on my home pole (45mm brass). Luckily fell on my butt and thigh so no damage done but it was pretty scary!
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Fantastic! I really need help with this!
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Haven’t been to any pole intensive workshops, but I’ve been to a couple of salsa-related ones. One of the problems is that, to build name recognition, you become a really great salsa or pole performer, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a great teacher! Some people can do the wildest tricks, but have zero teaching knowledge. It’s a different skill set.
Then, there is the problem of the organizers trying to draw in as many attendees as they can. This results in unclear or even no level requirements for a class. Because if they restrict to the appropriate level, they may turn away some people who are not ready for it. So better to attract as many people as possible and set up a difficult situation for an instructor (how to teach to a very varied group) as long as the organizers get their money.
And of course there’s the attitude of the instructors themselves. Some are the nicest, sweetest human beings, while some are so high on their own “stardom” that they forget the “low level” people attending their workshops are the ones paying for their time, airfare, and accommodation.
I would get in touch with the organizers and provide feedback. You paid good money for this and didn’t get the experience you wanted. It is also very much up to the organizers + instructors to set up level requirements per class!
Personally, after a few rounds of going to some weekend intensives (again, this is for salsa and not pole), I came to understand which instructors fit with my learning style, weren’t all about ego, and gave attention to their learners. I only attended those classes and not all offered. Finally, if you get to that point that you know which instructors are good, it might be more cost-effective to book privates with those ones, as opposed to doing the group class! Lessons tailored to your level, your goals, and you won’t be stuck in a corner gathering dust while others have all the fun.
Hopefully your next one will be a much better experience!
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It seems to me the porn and strip clubs may be a red herring for the real issue – lack of trust and respect.
In my mind you could be arguing about any other thing under the sun – how to raise kids, how to deal with nasty in-laws, use of alcohol or drugs, gambling, difference in religion, or whatever. You’ve drawn a hard personal boundary and told him, “Hey, this is as much as I’m willing to tolerate, and no more.” Meanwhile he has willingly and maliciously gone over that boundary again and again, with zero consideration for you! Zero respect for you as a person, and your thoughts/feelings/esteem are just minor inconveniences that get in the way of him living his life the way he wants.
“Is it OK for (partner) to cherish (other people)?” seems like the wrong question to ask, because there is no absolute answer that works for everyone. For two people who both answer it’s ok, if those two people get into a relationship with each other, then it’s all good! But in your case it is clear that you would answer “no” while your partner would answer “yes” to this question. A fundamental mismatch. Add to that the lack of respect, and you can see why you’re feeling used.
+1 to all the others who said seek professional help. Just wanted to add that we can only control our own behaviours and actions, not others’. The sooner you can divorce yourself from thinking “If I only did X then he may decide to do Y!” the less heartache and frustration you will experience.
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That is really cool! Yeah our trainer is very serious about the fitness side of things and her warm-ups are killer! She teaches muay thai kickboxing, too, and she’s hella strong. She’s even gotten featured in a local paper to lessen the stigma around pole, it’s really cool as in some ways the local community is still a bit iffy and conservative. What I like the most about it here is that there are so many local women who are getting into pole, and the instructor is Kenyan, too, so it’s not just expats teaching other expats! Nothing against expats since I am one myself, but it’s really great to see the pole love spread. 🙂
If anyone passes by Nairobi please give me a shout!
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Not my studio, I just take classes there 🙂 This personal trainer lady started doing classes last year, not really sure where she learned but there are a lot of people interested as she always gets inquiries, although there is still a bit of a stigma (slowly changing). Also not sure how many people stay on with her lessons, as a lot of people quit once they realize it’s not so easy and not all booty shaking! 😛 So far it’s the only studio I know of around here in NBO! I haven’t made it to Tanzania or Uganda (yet?), but I assume MonikaB you’re in Dar?
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When I lived in Kigali in 2012 I didn’t know of any pole studios. Glad to know it’s made it there now! If you don’t mind me asking, whereabouts is your studio? We used to live in Kisimenti, near the Chez Lando roundabout, when we were in Kigali.
Pole classes have been going on here in Nairobi for about a year, it’s really great that it’s spreading. 🙂 Hello, virtual neighbours!
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mgpoledance – Sorry I am not quite at the stage where I’m comfortable Skype-poling with others, but when I get there I’ll let you know! Thanks for the offer! 🙂
I think in this day and age a lot has been written about introversion in the media so it is not as weird or unknown to other people as it was before. I’ve definitely declined social invites from friends by saying outright that I’m not not feeling very social that day, or bailed because the group was larger than I thought it would be. They get it now, they’re getting used to it, and they’re not offended. “Having an introvert day!”
Certainly for group classes it’s harder to tailor the environment and setup for our own preferences, but as grayeyes said, I’m much less apologetic about my disposition than I was in the past!
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That’s a fantastic suggestion to use a literal bag of tricks! Thank you! 🙂
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Introvert here! I also take class on my own, or with just one or two other people (and they are usually the same people so I develop a rapport with them). Also have a pole at home but am not fully into self-training yet. It’s great that you’ve found what works best for you. I’ve done some group classes (for pole and other dance styles) but prefer privates or semis – less mental energy burned on “Oh my god, what is everyone else thinking about me right now!” which may not necessarily be an introvert thing, but something that always comes into my head and distract me. I know some people here pole “together” through Skype or something – you could try that?
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If it makes you feel any better, I have been doing salsa for 8 years and whenever my partner disconnects from me for some freestyle footwork, I also freeze. EIGHT YEARS! You are not alone. 🙂 I don’t have a lot of tips, but I have a feeling that this is mostly muscle memory. If you turn your brain off and your body takes over, your body does what it knows how to do.
I find that when I go to choreography classes I tend to remember what to do while in class because my brain is switched on and I’m concentrating, but once I leave I forget. If I try to just rely on it to resurface in a freestyle, it doesn’t happen. Why? Not enough time spent to drill it into my muscles. Are you able to practice the moves at home? Maybe pick 2-3 moves that you string together while practicing, so that you can build up an arsenal of go-to moves?
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Yeah I used to refuse doing any biceps training because I always thought of them as a vanity muscle and mostly for show. Well, guess what held me back on my pull-ups? Biceps! And once I started training them, I noticed a huge improvement on my ability to pull-up (not that I’m a master now but at least I actually see movement! LOL!). Goes to show, all the muscles work together and you can’t train some then ignore others.
Toes-to-bar is so difficult for me, I always just slide down! Maybe a grip issue? I guess anything that requires a strong grip would help with poling, too. 🙂
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Personally I’m a big fan of weight training because (1) women often ignore that sort of training in favour of heavy cardio, (2) I love getting more muscular (that toned look), and (3) it definitely helps with pole!
Because pole requires a lot of upper body strength in order to lift yourself up and hold yourself there, I would focus on those areas: arms, back, and chest muscles. Before my regular gym closed and ran away with our membership money (true story!), I liked doing:
– Dumbbell and barbell rows for your back (make sure good form when you lift heavier to prevent injuries)
– Lat pulldowns and inverted rows in preparation for pull-ups
– Pull-up negatives are also good in preparation for pull-ups (jump to the top and then slowly lower down w/ control)
– Bench press – yes, with a barbell! I know it may seem intimidating but start w/ an empty bar at first
– Bicep and hammer curls, tricep exercises, etc. I know Veena has some forearm/wrist exercises, too, because those small muscles are so often forgotten.
– Military press would be good for shoulders I believe
– Woodchops with a medicine ball or cable machineAnytime you move a heavy weight with your whole body (not in a machine) it activates your core and stabilizer muscles, so core work doesn’t necessarily mean doing crunches only. Some people at the gym do walking lunges with a barbell across their backs, I’m sure that works a whole lotta muscles!
I vastly prefer doing all barbell exercises NOT in a Smith machine (that machine that has the barbell on an up-down track) because on a Smith machine, the machine stabilizes the barbell for you, therefore less muscle engagement.
A simple weight training app that I used in the past is called Stronglifts 5×5, and it is free to download. It focuses on just a few lifts (bench press, squat, row, overhead press, and deadlift).
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One of the principals at our company continued with her daily ballet class well into her pregnancy! She kept it light and stayed away from heavy jumps and stuff like that, but she’d do barre exercises with us almost ’til the very end.
Light exercise is probably fine unless you’re having a high-risk pregnancy. Talking to your OB is probably your best bet! But I would imagine that if you stay upright and do a lot of dance-y stuff it’s not different from doing a light aerobics type workout at the gym or something like that.
Disclaimer: I’ve never, to my knowledge, been pregnant! 😛
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Not sure about the proper toe space, does that mean it needs to have that separation between big toe and all the rest? For a barefoot feel when barbell training I use Merrells and they work out fairly well. Can’t wear them all day as I need more arch support than this, but for people who like the barefoot feel it’s a good shoe.