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And I should have asked directly to the Veener Men: Do you find you have to approach any moves differently than women do?  What are you most interested in learning?

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I don't think it's weird, unless they're the obvious plastic ones, but even then I'd still be your friend, haha.  This thread reminds me of this meme: http://www.funnymemes.co/2012/09/office-pole.html

I have some black satin Pelle Modas that look kind of stripper-ish that I'd feel totally comfortable wearing to a work/office setting.  They're platform  and black and have that  stripper shoe shape to them but I don't consider them stripper heels because I guess I consider the iconic stripper heel to be a taller than average hoof-like platform and plastic.  Pleaser makes a lot of shoes that I think would not look out of place in an office though.

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I agree with you CorbyOconnor, Mr. Cooper's comments all fell flat for me.  Why is it only acceptable for kids to participate in an activity if it will get them a scholarship or to the olympics?  I think it's much more healthy and useful as far as life skills go, to teach a kid to be active and healthy for the sheer enjoyment they get out of it. 

I agree that there is a branding issue though.  My kids play on my pole, and I have no problem with that.  I don't think I'd sign them up for classes though, or push them to be competitors.  It's hard enough to pioneer the evolution of pole as an adult, I wouldn't want them to have to deal with that as kids.  And I don't expect everyone to "get" that there is a difference between cirque style aerial pole and sensual/sexual pole dance.  Not everyone has *seen* the difference, and that's really what it takes to understand.  Even with pole getting exposure on TV talent shows and dance shows, not everyone has encountered pole in any form other than sexy strip-club form.  Circus arts studios would probably catch much less flack for teaching children's pole classes than an adult pole dance studio would.  As adults, we love the sexy side of pole, and studios want to capitalize on that and advertise that they offer that, but I think it's a poor choice as far as business image goes to advertise the sexy/sensual adult pole classes and then also offer children's classes.

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I hope I didn't come off like I was judging your particular relationship Fever.  I do think it's sad when people judge what works for someone else.  I was illustrating the difference between judging, and knowing what turns me on vs. what doesn't turn me on, and why the stripper scene doesn't turn me on.  Some people are really into the stripper aspect of pole: love the shoes, love poling in lingerie, go to pole classes called "stripper 101".  And for a while I thought it meant I was judgmental if I didn't, which had me wondering if I was a walking contradiction.

I knew the first time I tried it that I loved pole dance, the sensual aspect, the strong aspect, the exercise aspect, the dance and artistic aspect,  and I'm even fascinated by pole dance's relationship to exotic dance and think that aspect has a lot to teach me.  I think it's fun to pay homage to every aspect of pole (still working on my booty pop and sexy floorwork). I loved learning from Fawnia in Vegas.  But at the end of the day l have a dance style preference that's all my own.  I can understand why some people aren't into certain parts of pole dance, and I realize their preference might not have anything to do with judgment.  It is true that some people's aversion to pole dance may be based on judgment, stereotypes, jealousy, or just irrational negative feelings that they don't really even know the cause of, but I'll try to anticipate the best from people.

I don't think that anyone has to change their style of pole dance to fit anyone else's either, I think diversity is one of the things that makes the pole community great and keeps it from going stale.

girlunblogged, thanks for sharing your pole story!  Pole dance has been therapeutic for me, as I grew up in a conservative family where I was taught I had to strictly cover my body between x and y in order to not be thought of as a sex object.  That way of teaching modesty really just reinforced to me that my body was indeed a sex object.  Even as an adult I felt like my body was not for my own enjoyment, but for my husband.  I had been so conditioned to go out of my way to keep it covered, often at the expense of my own comfort and preference.  Pole dance has helped me be able to acknowledge that my body was built to house an analytical mind, to appear sexy, to perform physical labor, to bear children, and (no less important) for my own joyful experience, and that a mature person will see me as a whole person, and not objectify me, no matter what I'm wearing/doing.

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Gymmeke, that one is prob my fave one so far.  Awesome.

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Omgosh PlatinumATL, I love the continuous pole in that one.  Way cool!

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This thread makes me want to try dancing in heels again!  I think I've tried it like 3 times in my living room but it didn't work out, probably because I was on carpet that caught the heel a lot.  I do think a pole walk and pirouette look amazing in any kind of heel, but floorwork and anything off the ground (climbs, inversions, ect) looks better/sexier in bare feet to me.

I actually don't like the look of the iconic stripper heel most of the time.  There have been videos where, due to the skill of the dancer it looked good to me, but the super tall platforms often look like hooves to me (especially if the dancer is flexing their feet at all), and the plastic clear ones look less like hooves, but the plastic aspect turns me off.  I loved the red shoes Jenyne wore in her routine for the World Pole Champ 2010 Zurich competition.  I thought those were really beautiful and sexy.  I'd love to try dancing in something like that.  I can understand how most dressy heels that I like probably wouldn't be as functional though.  It seems like the stripper heels are really made to hold up wear-and-tear wise, and the plastic straps probably help with grip.

I have heard some say that they like pole dancing in heels because then they don't have to worry about pointing their feet because the heel does it for them, which is so not true.  I see so many flexed feet in heels, and I think a heel actually makes any flex in the foot more noticeable and awkward.  Everybody has to start somewhere though and I'm sure I'll have issues with flexed feet in heels when I try it!

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"Also, remember that all relationships are transactional. I give my fiance sex, and in return, he provides emotional stability and various other benefits (this goes both ways; I'm just using it on my side to illustrate a point). The client/stripper relationship is no different, but the transaction gets a bad rap because people tend to romanticize relationships rather than seeing that all relationships are transactional, but the pay scale (and type) of transaction varies widely."

I really tried to understand and relate to that and I can relate to all of it except for sex being transactional.  For me and my husband, the different jobs we do to keep our household running are transactional (he works full time so while he's working I am the caretaker of our kids/ he deals with the upkeep of our vehicles, but I do most of the yardwork etc…) but our sexual relationship so far has been it's own currency.  Sex for us is straight across mutual enjoyment.  If it did transition to being a bargaining chip in other aspects of our relationship, it would end up being just that for me…a job, and would cease being sexy for me.  And for it to still be enjoyable for my husband I'd probably have to pretend that it was enjoyable for me, because he's not the type that would enjoy it if he thought I wasn't enjoying it.  And I have run into some guys who find the stripper culture, or overt sexuality in general to be mortifying and not sexy, so they're out there too.

I definitely think what Poledanceromance says is valid though.  I can understand that there are people out there who work the strip-club scene and genuinely love their jobs.  And I gotta say, I think it's an honest living.  At a bar it doesn't distress me when guys rub up on me on the dance floor, or when drunk guys hit on me with their hands (for lack of a better way to describe it, haha), and from what I understand that wouldn't even be allowed in a strip club dancer/customer setting (so maybe I could hack it as a stripper), but as far as finding it sexy…..yeah, not so much.  So it's no surprise that the stripper culture, stripper look, stripper shoes ect don't ring my bell either.

When I run into someone who favors the "artistic" side of pole dancing and doesn't get the "stripper" style, I don't take it as snobbery.  I just know there's nothing weirder than watching something that you know the performer means to be sexy and not finding it sexy yourself.  It's like the 'walking in on your parents' feeling…it's not that you're judging….you're just not into it.

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Those are some beautiful pieces, nice work!  I pinned a few to my pinterest board to help spread the word.

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I'm coming 🙂

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Yeah i didn’t notice anyone getting upset with you Oliviaaa…I think people were upset with a different poster.

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I love the idea of a stage name but I don't have one.   I haven't felt the need to step into a charachter yet, but still think it could be fun.  I like the idea of my pole dancing being an extension and representation of my everyday self, which includes all aspects of me ranging from my sensuality to my inner child.  I wanted so bad to take any kind of dance as a kid (so unique for a girl, right?) but didn't have the opportunity.  So by default, pole is now my outlet and I've been treating it like any other form of dance, focusing on the mechanics, form and posture, ect, but it's a huge goal of mine to work more on character and emotion and to someday compete or perform in a pole showcase.  My stage name(in my own mind, not that I've ever used it in a formal performance) for hooping is Cynnth.  I guess that could work for pole too.  Maybe when I get more into performance and playing a character I'll find a stage name that suits me.

In response to Oliviaaa, I don't think that 'stage name' has to necessarily mean 'stripper stage name'.  Entertainers of all kinds come up with stage names to set them apart/ make them easier to remember, and differentiate their everyday selves from their performance character.  Even mainstream actors and recording artists take on names they weren't born with.  

Where pole dance is concerned, not all pole dancers care that they're compared to strippers, but some do.  It's a personal thing, not something that can be stereotyped so broadly.  For a lot of us the differentiation is just a matter of clarity, not something we get offended over.  A pole dancer whose performance style is primarily sensual and erotic might clarify that she's not a  stripper, but may not be offended if her dancing is compared to a stripper's style of dance, and may even consider it a compliment.

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I watched the clip last night, you are so cute Lu, I loved watching you represent!  Congrats and good job 😀  Btw, your hair and costume color looked so gorgeous, good choice.

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It sounds like a good start to me!  Even if you try a move or hold and are unable to do it the way you want to, just the act of trying it several times will increase strength for next time.  So don't feel like your efforts are in vain.  

If you're unable to hold your body weight in a pole hold, you can get yourself into position for the hold and leave your toes on the ground while concentrating on supporting as much of your body weight as you can with your arms and shoulders.  Hold that for as long as the pole hold calls for and call it good.  If you keep it up you will be back to supporting your full body weight soon and it will only get better from there!

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The sport pole does not have spin mode, so it is always stationary.  The X-Pert has both static and spin mode 🙂