[Alexandra Edengren]

Thank you so much Veena for sharing and being an inspiration at all times! Showing how it is in real life and what a struggle it can be to practice when things happen around us. Since covid came we have had many difficult moments, family losses, a lot of illness over longer periods and going through situations I never expected to meet. Apart from that, as you describe, covid and media coverage, all people who didn’t make it, restrictions, masks, all acts against personal freedom, fear of what is going to happen etc Of course it resulted in less and less physical activity and being isolated at home. I kept on going to my pole classes though (studios in my country have been open), at most once a week or less often, I didn’t make much progress but it was the only safe and happy place outside home, it kept me sane through our family hardships and was a place where people talked about other things than covid, were immensely kind and encouraging to each other. I could also do every now and then a small portion of one of your programs which felt really good. But too little practice plus struggling with issues (PTSD and depression among other things) has taken its toll and I feel I’m back to square -10. Frustrating to compare with how it was before. In the meantime though my brain has been processing some moves that I today don’t feel are as scary.
Every time I practice now, no matter how bad I think it went, I try to find one tiny particle of progress, stick to it and praise myself for that and for even trying. But some days it feels a long way to go to get back to how it was and a lot of doubts.