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PS I am happy with my X-Pert and would consider getting a permanent/vaulted ceiling mount for it for whenever I'm settled. 🙂
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For a heavier person, especially a beginner, I might recommend a fixed ceiling mount pole (like any Lil Mynx) over a pressure mounted pole like an X-Pert. I might be paranoid, but ceiling mounts just seem safer to me. I have a X-Pert because I rent and I need variable ceiling height for when I move again. I know the X-Pole manual says it is rated for higher weight limits and it is perfectly safe when installed correctly, but there is always the issue of user error. I always feel like if someone has the option to do either type, they should go for a ceiling mount. I know a lot of studios don't use pressure mounted poles because they can loosen up over time with daily use.
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@sparrow I LOLed at your comment, it's really hilarious how much of my videos consist of me wiping the pole followed by me staring at the pole. Of course I know it's just me resting, catching my breath, thinking of what to try next. But that makes the great moments of progress that much better!
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I was traveling when you posted this, but if you need any more testers I'd be happy to help.
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@AerialGypsy Good to know. It seemed like it would work, but I'd have to find someone selling used pole parts. It might be easier just to get a second pole.
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If your photographer was anything like mine, they can fix this. Mine did all sorts of supermodel type edits on my photos… She smoothed out bad skin and tan lines, did some warping/pinching to fix my posture in a few photos where I was slouching, and even removed a large bruise from my husband’s grandmother’s face. She didnt want to be in any photos because of this big multicolor bruise (she tripped and fell a week before the wedding) but my photographer assured her it could be fixed in post. Sure enough, it was. If your photographer isn’t up to the task, find another photographer who can. I can even recommend one 🙂
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I’m not sure what I would call my thighs… It was kind of hard to find skinny jeans that fit, so I guess they’re thick? 🙂 I definitely feel safer in the CKR but that’s because the positioning is different and it suits my body. The CAR is all about squeezing and using thighs and knees to hold, and I find it harder than even superman. I think it’s good to learn both, but everyone has a preference. My first pole instructor strongly prefers CAR.
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I had similar feelings after my wedding. Part of the reason is because my job was super unfulfilling, and the wedding gave me a project to focus on where I could really see my efforts make a difference. When that's suddenly over, it can be a bit overwhelming to know what to do with yourself. Give yourself some new projects (home? work? exercise? personal?) and see if that helps.
As for wedding disasters… mine was pretty minor, but at the time it felt huge. So I understand. Our officiant forgot to pack a very important cable for her PA system (the one to be used for our outdoor ceremony music and for her voice during the ceremony.) Rather than sending someone else out to replace it, or proceeding with the ceremony without the PA system, she chose to leave the premises and go out in the mess of summertime vacationer traffic to get one herself. (!) So everything was ready to go, it was show time, and we had no one to marry us. I was waiting in the wings freaking out while the bridesmaids and groomsmen were trying to figure out what the hell we were supposed to do if she didn't return. She finally got back about 15 minutes after the ceremony was supposed to start, and that's when I walked down the aisle. I was already near tears from the stress of wondering if she would ever come back, but I managed to keep it together for the sake of my expensive makeup job! The ceremony went off without a hitch and the day was otherwise lovely, but it took a long time for me to calm down enough to enjoy it and stop waiting for something else to go wrong. My husband and I planned the entire wedding ourselves and I am a natural worrier, so it made the day so much more exhausting. To this day, when I look at our wedding photos, I groan whenever I see any that include our officiant. But it lessens with time.
I also have some wedding dress regrets. I loved my dress, but it started to slide down as the day progressed, and a little sliver of my bra was showing in quite a few pictures. I know nobody else can notice it, but I can. I also bustled the train to get in and out of the vehicle when I first arrived for pictures, and I never remembered to un-bustle it. So there are no photos of my dress with its long beautiful train. It's fine though, it still looked nice.
If you have a lot of regrets about your wedding, then it might be nice to have a really special 1st anniversary date. Go all out, get your hair and makeup done, go somewhere special, so you can relive some of that bride fun without the pressures of making it that one special day.
The important thing is, if you married someone amazing, that is all. It is such a cliche to say "as long as you ended up married in the end, it was a good day" but it's true. Marriage is so much more important than one day, and if you can cope with some drama on your wedding day then you can consider it practice for all the other drama life will throw at you. I hope some day you will decide this is less of a tragedy and more like a great story to share with other stressed out brides. 🙂
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A couple of things:
Although I can do both of these moves, my husband can't. He's a lot stronger than I am, so don't feel like a lack of strength is the problem. They're both moves that require a lot of flexibility and many people (male and female) don't have it naturally and it needs to be built up. You are correct on that.
I am flexible enough for an elbowstand press up, but don't have the strength in my core to do it yet. So I still kick up into elbowstands and handstands against the wall. My husband trains handstands both against the wall and in the middle of the room, and he kicks up into them like a gymnast would. His hamstrings are way too tight for a press up, though he may have the strength in his core.
Kicking up against the wall is OK as long as it is controlled. If you go SMACK into the wall then you are pushing too hard and need to go more gently. It's better to push, miss, and come back down with control than it is to go up with too much force. Those small attempts will help build strength and control. If you are falling/flailing then you are going too hard. If you think a video would be helpful, I could take one.
For bridge, you can work on some other variations to build flexibility in your spine without having to push yourself up all the way.
One is supported bridge:
With a block:
http://res.mindbodygreen.com/img/ftr/Supported-Bridge-Yoga-Poses.jpgThe important things are to keep your knees close together (don't splay your legs to the sides) and try to take the move out of your back and glutes and into your quads. This is much easier to learn while doing the lower bridge position, and then apply that once you're strong enough for the full backbend position.
The full wheel pose (what many people call bridge) is an advanced move in yoga, requiring a lot of flexibility not just in the back, but also in the shoulders and upper back in order to get that "upside down push up" position. I have actually injured my back from doing that move with improper body mechanics. So definitely work on supported bridge or regular bridge first, it will help you gain back flexibility with less risk.
In the modified positions above, the weight is on your shoulders and upper back, not your head. If you're up on your head, that is incorrect. Don't do crazy things just to feel more flexible in your back… I used to be guilty of that kind of thinking myself and slipped a vertebra for the trouble. By no means should you be resting all of your weight on your head. I sometimes use my head as an extra "hand" when lowering myself down from wheel pose, but that's just a quick thing. Putting your body weight on your head can lead to a serious neck injury. (PSA over)
Good luck and welcome back!
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Just chiming in… this thread could have been started by me, and chemgoddess's advice is right on. It took about 3 months for my pain to go away entirely, but I was still able to strengthen and build flexibility in my forearms while it healed. You can still do pole, just avoid bracket hold and be careful. I still get this pain if I get tired and fall back into old bad habits, but focusing on good form helps.
I have also taken workshops with Karol and learned those same hand strengthening exercises. They helped me a lot. Also, using a 45mm pole instead of a 50mm, so I could better engage the top hand and arm. Another big help for me was taking up vinyasa yoga (lots of forearm strengtheners there, in poses like downward dog, plank, crow stand, other arm balances). Split/bracket grip really should be like a one handed spin with a little bit of push from the bottom hand to keep your body away from the pole. The bottom arm should not be taking much weight.
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When you're in a basic inverted position, your head is the closest thing to the ground. Don't let that freak you out, but obviously if you fall headfirst, that is much worse than hands first, or chest first, or even shoulders/back first. Though it may be scary to let go with your hands in an invert, remember that having anything between your head and the floor adds a measure of safety. The inverted crucifix to superman dismount, or basic invert to upper shoulders/back (what Veena calls the basic dismount) are both super important as escape moves. You can practice doing shoulder stands and reverse handstands on the floor to get used to the inverted positions. I have found myself in some precarious positions on the pole before, but as long as I can get to one of these safe dismount positions, I can get down safely.
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LOL, he was, but he wasn't that guy… http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ch%C5%8Djun_Miyagi
Japanese martial arts is interesting because of how much it draws on the samurai-clan mythology, which requires fealty even to death. It makes it so much more dramatic when you actually do want to leave for legitimate reasons. I left my dojo because I got a job far away, around that same time my instructor got sick and eventually passed away from cancer. It was sad all around but the power vacuum from his absence brought out everyone's ugly sides. Now none of those people even talk to me anymore – won't answer phone calls or emails, didn't respond to invites to my wedding, just because I "betrayed" them. I spent 10 years of my life with them, and now they act like I don't exist. Martial artists can be almost cult-ish.
Back on topic to pole and Alexa's specific problem – yes, it sounds like the people at this studio are acting like children. Maybe their intentions are understandable (students=money) but I would not give my money to a place with staff that acted like that. I say, go to whatever workshops you like, pole at home, and don't bother with people who can't accept that other pole studios exist.
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Koi I wasn't gonna say it, but… OMG this is such a problem in martial arts too. It's like everyone decided that the Karate Kid was a documentary…
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Unfortunately this does not just happen in pole. I see it happen in yoga communities too – even though there is this idea that yoga is all about happiness and peace and love, there can be a lot of drama about student retention and local studios "getting along" with each other, in terms of instructional style, class offerings, or just overall attitudes. Like it or not, studios are businesses and need to retain regular students in order to make consistent money. It sounds like your studio might be going about student retention in the wrong way. Do you live in a large city? If not, it could be that there are not enough people in the area to support as many pole studios as there are. That could make a studio really anxious to maintain loyalty.
You definitely shouldn't give up on pole. Home study is one option. There are no studios where I love. So I practice at home, do yoga, and also take occasional weekend workshops at several studios in reasonable driving distance, including the one I started at (which is 2 hours away, but worth visiting.)
One of the reasons I really like StudioVeena is because there's none of this rivalry that comes from local business competition. Sure, the local studios around here might be rivals and trash talk each other, but why can't I be pole friends with, or get instructional tips, from someone in Texas or California or France? It doesn't impact anyone's bottom line at all, it's just done out of sheer friendliness and a desire to share.
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Corby is that the mobile version of the article I read? 🙂