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Thanks for the info! Yeah, shipping on oversized/overweight items can be so expensive, I wanted to get an idea of how much it would be before I set my price. I'm going to ask around locally first to see if anyone is interested. I'd even be willing to deliver within a certain radius. Unfortunately the 50 is becoming a bit of a dinosaur, but there has to be someone who prefers it. Hopefully close by 🙂

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Congratulations to you both! I can definitely say that I would not be where I am today without this website. Here's to 5 more!

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So much of it is just building up your hand strength. Most women do not have a lot of grip strength to begin with unless they do other things like tennis, golf, rock climbing, etc. Veena has a couple videos on hand and wrist strengthening exercises that are very good. You can also do things like pushups and handstands (against the wall) and hanging from a pull up bar to strengthen your hands and fingers. It will get better with time, don't give up!

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The Divacup is made of silicon and shouldn't affect you if you have a latex allergy. Other cups may be made with other materials, but the Divacup is definitely silicon.

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I think in the beginning when I first started poling, it certainly appealed to my husband on a basic level (as in, my girlfriend is learning to do the sexy things that strippers do, awesome). But as time went on it took on different meanings. First of all, he finds athletic women very sexy – he's captivated by women like Jenyne Butterfly. Who isn't? So he finds the muscles I'm developing from pole dance, as well as the newfound grace and agility, very appealing. I think he is turned on by the fact that his wife can do pole tricks, not by the actual performance of them but the fact that I have the requisite muscles to do it. He also thinks confidence and happiness is sexy (of course!) and pole gives me those things, so he finds it sexy to see me enjoying myself in an activity. 

The actual "sexy" moves – sexy floorwork, etc – are different. I love watching other dancers doing them, and I know we both appreciate that type of pole dance as much as the more balletic type, if not more so. But I find it very hard to do sexy, seductive moves with a straight face. I just can't do booty pops and leg splays for an audience without cracking myself up because I've never thought of myself as anything but an awkward white girl. So that kills any kind of showgirl fantasy potential. I guess I need to work on my poker face!

Whenever we go to strip clubs together, I always tip girls who trick. It's fun and we usually end up talking about pole dance once they learn what I do. And I always tip anyone just for taking the time to talk to me instead of another paying client!

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I really like my Xpert. I've actually bought two of them so far (a 50 and a 45). I have hardwood floors in my pole room, and an 8 foot ceiling. The Xpert leaves no trace except for a faint ring from the ceiling dome that comes off with a damp paper towel. I don't even bother cleaning it off anymore because it helps me re-set the pole if I take it down.

I would consider a SV pole, but I'll probably move again at least twice more and I have no idea what my ceiling situation will be in the next place. I stuck with Xpole because it seemed like the best option for an uncertain future. I have friends with Lil Mynx and Platinum Stages one piece poles and they are very happy with them, but they need to be cut to a specific ceiling height. If I move to a place with a shorter or taller ceiling than this one, and all I need to do is buy extensions for my Xpert if it's taller. I think one piece poles are awesome and definitely the way to go if you live in a place permanently, but Xperts are great too.

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We met in my very first college class. It was a terrible class taught by an eccentric wacko of a professor. At one point during a lecture, she started talking about a wild conspiracy theory, and the two of us shared a knowing look – "what the hell am I doing here?" We chatted briefly after class that day about our predicament. Then we began sitting next to each other, and eventually exchanged AIM screen names (remember those?)

I was in a (toxic, emotionally abusive) relationship at the time, so this very smart, friendly, and down to earth guy had to remain just a platonic friend. And besides, he was four years older than me, so ew, he's even older than my brother! I mentioned meeting him briefly to my boyfriend at the time (who attended another school) and he immediately went into a jealous rage, as he always would. I was spending time with a guy that wasn't him?! So I quickly learned not to mention any new male friends that I met. Big red flag, right? This is why I have zero tolerance for this kind of thing now, when I hear about other people with boyfriends like that.

So I friendzoned my husband, hard, for a year, during which he was the kindest, most patient friend a silly college freshman girl could ask for. We chatted online almost daily, about all kinds of nerdy things, and he patiently listened to my friend and relationship drama and shared a few stories of his own hilariously bad dates. All of the girls in my dorm knew my ex was a loser and I should really be dating my husband, but I had to come to that conclusion myself. It took a year to finally build up the courage to break free. It was hard to extricate myself from a long term, co-dependent relationship that had begun when I was only a teenager. My parents were high school sweethearts and my brother was engaged to his gf from high school, so I had no role model for how to break up with someone. But after spending enough time with sane, sensible people at my college, all who seemed to be a lot happier than I was, I realized that I deserved happiness too. And I knew I wanted to take a chance with the guy who actually made me happy. I finally built up the courage to end things with the ex. He responded exactly how you might expect – called me every horrible name in the book, decided I'd been cheating on him the whole time (I hadn't, but sometimes wish I'd dumped him a year sooner) and told all of our mutual friends what a horrible person I was for leaving him. Luckily, they could see things for what they were, and they are all still my friends.

Husband and I tried to keep it "casual" for a little while, mostly at my request since my head was still spinning from the crazy ex and I didn't even know what it felt like to be single and free. But it wasn't going to work that way. There was no way I was going to be able to casually date the best person who'd ever walked into my life. We fell deeply in love and have been inseparable ever since. We celebrate our second wedding anniversary this summer. We've been through a lot of difficult things together – illnesses, job loss, long distance moves, family drama, etc. but we always make each other laugh and always have each other's backs. He gives me strength and confidence simply by believing in me when I don't believe in myself. He's hugely supportive of my pole hobby too!

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Yes, make sure the pole and your body are warm and free of anything like lotion. But a big part of grip issues, especially when poling at home, is mental. My grip was fine in the studio but terrible at home. I kept wondering what was different about my pole versus the studio, but the reality is… When it's just me alone with my pole in a room, it's easy to focus on how much I'm slipping in a move. And then it's self-fulfilling because I freak out about it and stop squeezing. When I'm in a class or workshop, trying to pay attention to the instructor and make sense of new moves or choreography, I have too much else to think about and the grip issues seem to improve by themselves. My recommendation is just to keep practicing, and don't worry too much about slippage. It will happen, but you will build up strength over time.

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Try practicing the shoulder slide while wearing a long sleeved shirt or hoodie. That way your shoulder will slide freely, and you will be forced to use your legs and hands to control the descent, not your shoulder. Then once you get that, you'll be able to do the same thing without the hoodie, and put less pressure on your bare skinned shoulder to prevent sticking.

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I think this applies to life as well as pole. It’s good to have a mixture of people around you. Those who will cheer for you and tell you that you’re amazing and awesome and special no matter what. And those who will be brutally honest with you and tell you no, that sucked and here’s what you can do to change that.

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If you ever feel yourself getting bummed out about what you can't do, just put on some music and dance. Forget about form and tricks and making everything perfect and just have a blast. It may feel a bit forced at first, but you'll get there. Part of the reason that pole appealed to me, at least in my first couple lessons, was that it was so much fun that I forgot I was even exercising. Drilling strength moves, etc. is good and important if you have a specific goal to achieve. But if I find myself getting discouraged, the huge mountain before me seems that much harder to climb. And it feels better just to go for a nice stroll instead, and remember why I started in the first place.

Having the studio environment at first was so helpful for me because we could all laugh and talk and have fun together. And also see that everyone else was struggling too. When you're by yourself, it's easy to feel like a failure because you focus on what's troubling you. When you're in a studio, you might see someone going through your own struggle, so you give them a tip… and then someone else gives you a tip. Suddenly you're all doing better and have each other to thank for it. SV is the closest thing to that experience that I've found in any online community.

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Agree with everything here. I didn't really start to get the reverse grab until I switched down to a 45mm pole. My fingers don't wrap on a 50mm, so I didn't have the confidence to get enough momentum and airtime for the one handed chair portion of the spin.

Another thing that helped me was seeing a video of Oona Kivela talking about a more advanced trick, the phoenix. She talked about how big and round the initial spin has to be so you don't bash your head into the pole when you come around. Although I can't do phoenix yet, it's the same idea as reverse grab, with a big circle. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Bolo4tOp6Ahttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Bolo4tOp6A

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Sounds like a good idea! I'd be willing to help.

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I find TG to be grippier than chrome without being over-grippy. However a few people at various studios tried to talk me out of getting a TG, saying it was no different from chrome and that the "enhanced grip" was just a marketing ploy. I'm really glad I went for it, but I think it really depends on the individual whether there's a noticeable difference or not.

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I have DD/Es and pole has not made my boobs any smaller. However my pecs have developed considerably as a result of doing pole and yoga, and it has changed the shape of my bust line.

It's true that there aren't many "pole superstar" role models with big chests, but there are plenty of everyday polers on SV who are big on top and are quite talented. I think it's mostly for the same reason you don't see many busty professional gymnasts or ballerinas. A lot of pro polers came from backgrounds in other forms of dance or acrobatics where there is a preferred body type (and those types people sort of self-selected into that activity). But in my experience pole is a pretty universal dance form and people of any size or shape can do it well.