[Scarlett Honey aka Lola Grace]

Rin-Rin described it exactly – while friends or strangers might find it shocking or exciting, once you are in that environment, surrounded by nudity and alcohol and horny men, taking your clothes off seems natural and easy. The first time you might feel self-conscious and awkward but you will soon realise that the cutomers will be wowed by you no matter what, they just want to see a real life naked woman up close. The novelt wears off really quickly… I had a long fascinationg with stripping from when I wasa a teenager to when I started at 22. Now its a struggle to remember what I found do intriguing about it…. It can be fun and exotic, but mostly its a physically and mentally exhausting job that sometimes pays extremely well and sometimes pays you nothing. A club is NOT the right place to practice your pole tricks – because the only tricks you should be performing in front of an audience you would to seduce are the ones you can pull off with great confidence and smooth pazzazz. There is nothing less sexy than watching someone stumble and fumble and strain to do an invert or a trick while wearing barely anything 😛 But, dont consider it a compelte waste of time regarding pole skills – stripping taught me alot about flow. As podiums often extend for longer than a song, and you are constantly being watched, you learn to smoothly transition all your moves together continuously… and you will pick up some great sexy dance moves (particularly floorwork) from watching the other strippers strut their stuff.

I dont know anything about the military, their policies or your risk of getting recognised. But you have to consider how important your military career is to you compared with this stripping venture. Is it worth the risk? Good luck with whatever you decided to do! Oh and whatever you do, act super-confident, even if you're terrified. Fake it till you make it! 🙂 

[Scarlett Honey aka Lola Grace]

StellarMotion said some really interesting things about dancing even when tricking… and I like Veena's term "expression" – I think that's a big part of dance. Regarding StellarMotions concern about some expectations for women's dancing to also be sexy, I think that sexiness while it can add something to dance, isnt necessary. It just depends on everyones style and interpretation. Apparently I tend to dance sexy/sultry even when Im feeling emotional and sad…. Others might find one dancer's style sexy while others may not. I agree that sexiness shouldnt be a requisite for pole dancing. But I do think a touch of sexy can add some great spice 😉 Oh and floorwork isnt all about getting down n dirty – it can be just as artistic and acrobatic as footwork/pole work. Also, you dont need to be on the floor to be sexy…. some classic pole tricks and poses can be astonishingly beautiful and seductive. I refer to ALethea Austin's dancing (youtube) as evidence. 😉 

[Scarlett Honey aka Lola Grace]

**weights

[Scarlett Honey aka Lola Grace]

Wow. So many varied opinions! This is what keeps pole interesting…. diverse individual styles. I guess it partly depends on what your motivations and attitudes towards pole dancing is; Do you see it as a fitness program or sport (Strength and tricks) or do you value it more for the artistic/aesthetic side of dance (so lines, movement, flow etc)? I supposed the ideal is a harmonious combo of the two… It's interesting to hear what comes naturally to some and not others though…. I find that building strength is such a slow and laborious process, while the dancing is just so fun and easy for me. But I know others just master trick after trick but find things like floorwork and body rolls incomprehensible…. haha. Of those who naturally have muscles of steel – I am soooooooo jelo, but I dont think I'd trade in my natural groove for it. Back to the wights for me! 🙂 

[Scarlett Honey aka Lola Grace]

Wow. So many varied opinions! This is what keeps pole interesting…. diverse individual styles. I guess it partly depends on what your motivations and attitudes towards pole dancing is; Do you see it as a fitness program or sport (Strength and tricks) or do you value it more for the artistic/aesthetic side of dance (so lines, movement, flow etc)? I supposed the ideal is a harmonious combo of the two… It's interesting to hear what comes naturally to some and not others though…. I find that building strength is such a slow and laborious process, while the dancing is just so fun and easy for me. But I know others just master trick after trick but find things like floorwork and body rolls incomprehensible…. haha. Of those who naturally have muscles of steel – I am soooooooo jelo, but I dont think I'd trade in my natural groove for it. Back to the wights for me! 🙂 

[Scarlett Honey aka Lola Grace]

Interesting. I agree with sassafrassle that I like to have quite a lot of dancing in my performances (because it comes naturally to me) and also because I feel like the tricks have more impact if they are only occur every now and then (in moments where the music climaxes maybe) as opposed to one after the other. Plus, who has the stamina for trick after trick? One day I hope to be able to for competitive reasons, but geez… Still, artistically and aesthetically I still prefer more dancing and emotional expression than just trick-transition-trick. I actually struggle to fit alot of tricks in one song before the music ends…. I get distracted with all the groovin 😛 Maybe that would be an interesting challenge? A whole song consisting of every trick you can do…. Uh im exhausted just thinking about it! 😛 haha

[Scarlett Honey aka Lola Grace]

Alethea Austin, Bobbi, Karol Helms… They are my faves…. Im IN LOVE with Alethea Austin's dancing! Had an awesome workshop with her in Sydney last year… so unique, fluid and sensual. Gorgeous! 🙂

[Scarlett Honey aka Lola Grace]

Hey Caitlin, I used to live in sydney but not anymore, so we cant pole jam together sorry, but I can recommend a great pole school for when youve got the mula. Bobbi's Pole Studio in the city of Sydeny is AMAZING. Teachers are vibrant and so much fun, the 8 week courses are instructive in both pole tricks and dance moves, they hold regular amateur and show nights, and they've just moved to a brand spanking new studio on Elizabeth st in the CBD, so its all very glam. The prices for an 8 week course are average – $230 I think. So check out their website and ring them up – best to book into classes a few weeks in advance as the good time slots fill up really quick. Have fun in Sydney! Hope u find some poling buddies soon! (oh and the best way to meet them is via classes… thats how i made all my poling friends). 

Scarlett

[Scarlett Honey aka Lola Grace]

Im not a mum, but I have a teenage brother (15), and he and his friends know that I pole dance, and have seen me pole dance – it eventuated naturally, they were curious, wanted to give it a go, I showed them some tricks and how to do it… it was never a big deal for me as Im naturally very relaxed about showing my body and am so proud of my poling. 

HOWEVER…. recently it started getting a little complicated… even though they think I only do it for exercise (they dont know about my past stripping experience of course), I guess boys will be boys, and their hormones kicked in and it became apparent that they were starting to enjoy watching me dance a little toooo much 😛 

From what I overheard this and there, it seemed my brothers mates were teasing him and giving him a bit of a hard time about having a "hot sister"… Which immediately made me feel sooo guilty and repentent for inflicting any social embaressment or awkwardness on him… I got really worried about wether I had allowed the situation to become inappropriate… But then I considered the alternative – If i had of hid my poling and treated it as a very private, secretive thing, it would have only sent the message that pole dancing IS something to be hidden or ashamed of. 

So in the end, i just gently let the boys know that it wasnt appropriate or mature for them to be referring to me in that kind of a way (since im their mates sister, and also a school teacher now :P). So all the teasing has abated, things are all good, and I cant help feeling content that I openly express my love of pole, which only advertises to people that it is a sport to be proud of and to admire.

Also, someone else on here pointed out, that familiarity and knowledge of something takes away the fear or awkwardness of it. Its only ignorance that creates misconceptions and stigmas. SO if your kids grow up in an environment that accepts and appreciates poling as an art form, they will be too confident in the value of pole dancing to be seriously effected by other kids opinions…

 

Anyway, hope this helps… I know as a mother you would sacrifice anything for the wellbeing of your kids, but you should also consider how giving up or holding back your poling will effect your own happiness, which in turn will effect your mothering. 

 

All the best xoxo

Scarlett

[Scarlett Honey aka Lola Grace]

I second Fern Sycamore,

Alot of clubs are investing in instructors to raise the quality of their dancers' pole skills. At the club I worked at, they payed one of their own dancers (who is also an instructor at a studio) to train us at 3pm once a week… Dont be too nervous about the environment – its quite common for strip clubs to use their space for their own extra training/activities/interviews/ or to rent out their space for a seperate function/event. And really, unless you are there at peak time, late at night when its crowded and the customers are intoxicated, you should be very safe. Club managers are professional businessmen too… So i reckon, just get as much info out of this woman as you can re the interview and venue, but I would be definitely show up as long as she can give a reasonable explanation for the choice of interview location. Also, from another poler who has aspirations to one day be an instructor, sometimes we have to be prepared to start out small and underground, before we can make the right contacts and rise to the top (ie fancy studios). Its all about networking and diverse experiences girl! 🙂 Hope the woman gets back to u and pouts your mind to rest… I know how u must be feeling, it sucks to always be hitting dead-ends! But keep putting yourself out there! 🙂 xox

[Scarlett Honey aka Lola Grace]

Ive always been completely open and honest about my love for pole-dancing as a hobby and possibly future career. And people have usually respected and shown polite interest in this. However I have to admit it does effect how some people percieve you, depending on their own preconceptions of pole-dancing. Boys in particular have seen me with new eyes… they are always quick to try n get a free pole performance out of me, or take the party back to my place in the hopes things might get a bit raunchy… I used to enjoy the attention, but now I prefer for guys to show n interest in me thats unrelated to the fact that Im a pole dancer. 

Stripping was a whole other issue to unravel. I always thought "what they dont know wont hurt them" etc, so I kept my parents in the dark for as long as possible. Plus, who wants to go throught that awkwardness? But eventually I had to tell them, I hated concealing the truth all the time… the deception actually lent some kind of guilt to the whole activity, which I didnt want so…

They were very accepting and were actually pleased and surprised that I had willingly told them. I think they were chuffed that I felt I could be honest and open with them… anyway, it has led to some embaressing and awkward moments, especially when some derogatory remark or perspective about the industry is voiced in our vicinity or is shown on tv… 

What I leanrt from this dilemma of telling or not telling them, is that mainly, its your life. Of course parents have a huge role in our lives and no one wants drama or dissapointment between them, its not fair that you feel guilty or torn because of something that gives you pleasure. I think the stigma comes from pole-dancing for money, exploiting yur body, b lah blah blah. Personally I think the stigma is ridiculous and just results from society's conservative and hypocritical hang-ups about sex and the human body. But, in your case, youve got nothign to worry about. You arent doing it for money like I was, you are doing it for fitness and as a creative outlet. SO I would push the perspective that its just another form of dance, that its artistic and challenging and inspirational. If you show them how much it menas to you, if they are only thinking of what makes you happy, then they can only accept it and respect you right to make your own choices in life. 

I dont think its a bad idea to show them some footage of pole-proffessionals. Its amazing how many people are compeltely ignorant of the strength and skill required to be a pole dancer. So educate them. 

 

Good luck, and remember, put yourself first! Its your life! 🙂 xox

[Scarlett Honey aka Lola Grace]

All these tips are awesome! Im just wondering if anyone else has the same fear regarding the aysha as I do…. I cant help but be scared that once I take my legs away from the pole, my core wont be strong enoug hold my body straight and my legs will actually go backwards over my butt and ill hurt my back, and probably crash and smash myself 😛 lol. I actually have yet to try the aysha, but I can do a one-handed caterpillar climb, which involved sliding your legs up the ple and therefore looseing them a bit…. so I should be able to do it right? Ahh I just freak out about doing like a back-flip off the pole…  :S

[Scarlett Honey aka Lola Grace]

Hi Hilary,

 

I feel ya. I remember when I first started out and I had to consciously decide on which moev I was going to do next before I could do it. Its just attitude and practice that makes it all smooth and easy. Practice combining several floor moves together, in different sequences, over and over. Once you've got muscle memory, you can just let go, stop thinking and go with the flow. I find actually thinking about the moves makes my dancing seem so much more awkward… over-thinking can be very transparent. So STOP thinking about it…. just lie on the floor on your back, raise your legs slowly (toes always pointed!) and kick them leisurely in the air, kind of like your cycling. Then lower your legs, slowly roll over and push your bottom into the air and follow onto your knees, do some hip swirls, stretch your arms above your head, then do a little body-dip back to the floor, and so on. Its just repetition that makes it flow, but its attitude that makes it look sexy! Dont let yourself think about hte awkwardness, instead, pretend you are this hot dynamo who knows their stuff, knows their amazing, and doesnt even give a damn. Imagine yourself sexy and smooth, and your body willl eventually catch on! 

Also, I find watching youtube clips of my favorite pole-dancers a huge help… Check out Alethea Austin (she does alot of floor work) or whoever else has a style that you'd love to imitate, and use them as demonstrations and model yourself on them! Fake it till you make it love! Have confidence in yourself, or atleast pretend that you do! lol 🙂 

Hope some of this helps… Have fun! xox

[Scarlett Honey aka Lola Grace]

I know that pole-dancing organisations have a lot of 'high-up' influences over the sport, but personally, I think for most polers, our greatest influences are our studios in which we train, the teachers or owners of those studios, and our personal pole idols (who are usually the top polers in the world, who compete etc). If you want to look at pole dancing down under, you should definitely research the beginnings and recent expansion of 'Bobbi's Pole Studio' in Sydney. Im not sure, but I have a feeling Bobbi's was the first pole studio in Australia… and they now have branches in Singapore, Malaysia, and more.

I find it interesting to compare the different priorities of pole studios, why some are more athletic and fitness orientated, while others push more dancing/asthetic values…

And as far as pole Idols go, and big names in poling, you cannot go past Alethea Austin! She is the current USPDF Champion, and has been hugley influential in regard to incooperating innovative, gymnast and breakdancing moves into her routines. 

I think you should look at how pole dancing is constantly evolving and expanding… Dancers like Allegra, Felix, and so on are inventing new moves and expanding the physical possibilities of pole…. so yeah, I hope you give plenty of credit to the individual original talent and interpretation of the top pole dancers! 🙂 Good luck!

[Scarlett Honey aka Lola Grace]

Such a great idea about referencing favorite film/literary characters for names… But my fave heroine is Elizabeth Bennet, (P&P by Jane Austen)… not exactly a sexy name 😛

Hmmm… I love Bronte novels too… but Bronte beach in Sydney was not one of my faves – im def more of a Coogee gal 😛 haha Sorry im thinking out loud now… ah its so hard to find the perfect combo isnt it!