[starryeyed]

Foot undeez are awesome! I had the same problem when I moved into a new house with wood floors–I managed to scrape off a stomach-churning chunk of skin (say that quickly 10x) after doing a bunch of pirouettes…ouchies. Anyway, these things have just the right amount of traction and I feel like they actually kind of help with keeping your toes pointed. The cheapest pair I found was on amazon.

[starryeyed]

Oh man, I have SUCH bad social anxiety! And it only started about 5-6 years ago (when I was about 20) out of nowhere. I've had issues with depression and general anxiety since I was a kid but I was always pretty confident and was even quite the entertainer. Then all of the sudden  my self-esteem took a swan dive and now I’m incredibly fearful of social situations (I get the shakes); I get super paranoid where I think everyone thinks badly about me (and I end up twisting things into something negative); I have horrible body image issues (I’m naturally really skinny and have always gotten hurtful comments about it but used to have the self-confidence to not let it get to me but now I look in the mirror and think I look disgusting). I push ppl away because maintaining relationships is so stressful and now that I’ve moved to California I don’t have any friends anyway (except my bf) because I feel like I’ve become so awkward and unlikeable—how can I make friends if I don’t even feel like myself anymore?? Sigh…..sorry, I’ve been keeping a lot of this bottled up. It just sucks being irrationally fearful all the time and feeling like it has almost entirely erased the real me.

On a more positive note, pole has done WONDERS for my depression…I don’t ever get that drowning sensation anymore, thank god! Also, putting on a bit of muscle weight is slowly changing my body hatred and it helps knowing that it’ll only get stronger. Some other things that have helped are getting lots of sunshine, proper nutrition, a regular sleep schedule, and limiting caffeine.

Now I just need to tackle the anxiety somehow…Anyway, I had to get that out, just talking about it and seeing that it’s not just me helps a lot—thanks for listening. https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_smile.gif

 

[starryeyed]

Thanks so much for all the encouraging responses–makes me feel like there’s hope for me yet https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_sunny.gif And I know that sometimes it takes a lot of courage to admit that there’s a problem so I really appreciate everyone’s honesty. My xpole arrived yesterday, woohoo! I think I win first prize for the world’s sweatiest hands…seriously, I might as well give the pole a bath while I’m it https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_tongue.gif
Anyway, I’m wishing you all a wonderful day (and dry hands)!